h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

It is a Jack Dee special that!

Question time... I've noticed in pubs that the "Johnny machine" often now features a "better sex than ever" tablet.

Some appear to be Oyster based, and others herbs, anybody been tempted to make use of such items? Did it work?

Answers on a postagestamp?

Penises are particularly uneconomical.

Average penis length = 6.75 inches.

Average intercourse time = 15 minutes

Average strokes per minute = 12

Therefore, distance covered by penis during intercourse = 6.75 x 15 x 12 x 2 (in AND out) = 2430 inches = 0.0404 miles

Average volume of ejaculate = 10cc = 0.0022 gallons.

Therefore the penis does about 18.36 miles to the gallon, or about the same as a Honda Ridgeline pickup.

B

That's why there's tantric sex. Boosts your mileage.

Has any of you practised tantra sex? I would be good to know your opinions

I'm serious. I've googled about that and my opinion is that, leaving aside the marlakey about expansion of consciesce, freedom of energy, spiritual realization...etc., it seems:

1) a looooonnnnng and slowwww masturbation that the couple give to each other.
2)when the climax comes you inhibit the spasm and prolong that feeling which "will lead you to the mental sexual paradise"
3)there is penetration and ejaculation.

I thought tantra sex was like that kind of Court Love from the Middle Ages: the Knight dressed with his armour laying next to the woman with his sword over his chest all night long!!!
How uncomfortable!!

The problem with men is "the in and out" - they just don't last long enough. Since I'm defenitely not content with 15 minutes (or ten, seven...) and - as Mae West wisely said -"A hard man is good to find" tantric - or tantricish - sex is a way to prolong it. Not just the hardness but the enjoyment and pleasure as well.

It something you have to learn, and it takes time and trust.

...and I still wonder if there is a man that will outlast me...

>>> "The problem with men is "the in and out" - they just don't last long enough" <<<

An average, so 15 minutes is mean in more ways than one.

Go on top, had bloke a copy of Top Gear Magazine, and away you go!

Though the 12 stokes remak made me wonder. For the purpose of research, 'she' was positioned on top. She managed about 51 stokes/minute and a more consistent pace too, despite a fit of giggles as I counted out loud. The only thing that stopped the research was her legs got tired after a while.

Research, it's hard at times.



That said, each and every time period will vary "depending on track conditions."

>> Is there any man who has had experience both cut and uncut? <<

I'm sure you'll find a reference to that early on in this thread.

RF

"...and I still wonder if there is a man that will outlast me..."

Well, if you're actively looking, I'll have a go.

B

I had a partner who outlasted me on more than one occasion, but I also sucessfully induced multiple orgasms in him (I'm told this is impossible... I disagree. And I'm not talking lots, I'm talking building on each other linked full orgasms.) We knew each other very well and were experimental too though which probably helped. He was definitely the best lover I've had and I doubt I'll see the like ever again. Well endowed, sensitive to mood, enjoyed foreplay as much as sex and was willing to be as gentle or as rough as the mood took us, and the dom/sub play that can make sex very interesting (it doesn't have to be 'kinky' but can make a huge difference, whatever level you take it to)

Unfortunately since then I've been lucky to find someone who ticks more than one or two boxes at a time. If they last, they aren't exciting, if they are exciting, they dont listen etc...

Damn! Thought it was MB & DQ reporting back after a weeks hard shang.



But is that not the point? It's team work, it's the whole package, not just how long it takes you to cum/not cum that matters?

Hope springs eternal.

My wife doesn't come on this site anymore, right?

B

"It's the whole packet"( Fluffy, funny connotations for a Spanish speaker)

Robin H. has mentioned everything that matters:

a couple who knows each other quite well and has the will of pleasing mutually.

But,
you (RH) make a distinction between foreplay and sex. I guess that you mean foreplay and coitus? Sex starts, or should start before going to bed ( or sofa, or...) all your body can become "sexual". A way of looking and smiling can be really exciting.
I don´t think penetration is the most important thing.

"I also successfully induced multiple orgasm in him"

YOu should share any information relevant in order to have a happy smiling hootoo community. It wouldn´t be fair to hide it.
YOu should illustrate us, women and men alike. It can be very benefical, even patriotic, what am I saying?! it would be a paramount act of universal philanthropy!!!







Has it something to do with the prostate gland massage?
I've googled it but there are a lot of contradictions about it.

I've never had my gland fiddled with, and still managed to shoot the enemy repeatedly.

Now as I'm older, two goes and a nice cuppa before moving on to more sedate things suits.

Even if I was not the man to give her a first orgasm, at least I was the one to give hermore than one in a row. Much to her shock, as she is bloody difficult to "get off" and she knows it.

It is a bit strange being thanked for my patience, it's not like I had anything else planned, no football to watch or drinks down the pub with the lads.

Once I'd never let anybody near anything I can see myself without a mirror, with this woman I'm more free about it, doing to, and being touched in places previously out of bounds. But then she is gentle.

Sorry, my definition sucked I meant mutual genital bumping, of course!

As for the multiple... Well, it was very strange, we'd had a long session and I dont know that I did anything different except that he was relaxed enough not to stop me from fellating and so I didn't stop, just went gently for just long enough (amazing what your breath can do when lips are too much contact) and then went back to it... He did end up crying for about half an hour. It was emotionally quite a draining experience apparently. (not that he didn't enjoy it mind, far from it!)

We could read each other extremely well and I think that helped, I've never been that in tune with anyone. It's funny really because we eventually got to the point where his tastes went far beyond what I was interested in and we lost that ability to read each other because we weren't completely at ease with each other any more.

Shame he was a delusional, psychotic, depressed sociopath really.

B:- That calculation you put a few posts ago.... you set that for homework didn't you? I've been re-reading bits of this thread with interest... just to remind myself waht sex was/is