h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

'Some of us have always seen sex as something not to be played at thankyou.'

But *why* do you see it as something not to be played at? That's what I'm getting at.

Thats something I've been meaning to ask - but from the other way round, if that makes sense

Why - generally speaking - do you see sex as something to be played at Roy?

I'm not saying it's not great fun - but fun is too weak a word for it, IMO. Sexual pleasure isn't mere fun, it's a serious enjoyment, to be savoured, surely?

Well, blow me. Spend an afternoon housekeeping system, upgrading graphics and come back in H2G2 to find a very sombre and thoughtful bundle to read.
A mention in dispatches, thank you for the psyco analysis Freud, or Jung or Skinner, whoever, whatever. Roll on tomorrow, think I'll just and learn.

'Why - generally speaking - do you see sex as something to be played at Roy?'

I hate to use this phrase but can't think of anything better: why not?

I take sex too seriously but think that I'm irrational to do so. I'm wondering why we take something that can range from a bit of fun with someone to an intimate expression of love for someone and treating it as though it's only the latter.

Why should sex be perceived as different to any other social thing that two people do together (although I am struggling to think of one)?

Yeah, fair enough, I can see where you're coming from, when you explain it like that - technically why *not* copulate with whomever you fancy and just treat it as a healthy bit of (no pun intended) social intercourse?

*logically* it makes perfect sense.

Unfortunately, *emotionally, that theory tends to go a bit pear shaped, generally speaking, and thats where all the angst and what have you comes in, I guess!

I think, perhaps, that sex, purely for the sake of sex comes roughly under the term of masterbation - instead of using ones imagination, or bits of plastic or whatever to create pleasurable sensations, one simply utilises another consenting person's body to do the job.

Nothing wrong in that - just as long as all parties concerned know and accept the premise.

Its a means to an end, sure, but I've never found casual sex emotionally fulfilling, or particually physically fulfilling, either, most of the time.

Pleasant, yes; but frankly, I'd sooner go out for a pint in the company of good friends than embark on no emotional attatchment sexual fun. Been there, done that, and eventually just found it incrediably lonely and ultimately, very boring - good technique or not.

But thats just my view.

But ... oh, heck I don't know how to put that... *thinks*

<des

Hmm; the willy thread goes serious....maybe this is the equivalent of when what you imagined was a quick shag turns into a love affair? And then sex becomes an expression of love & suddenly the technical stuff is less important than the feelings involved. Which can be great, 'cos if the pair of you actually are "in love" the trust thing goes without saying, so you can totally let rip sexually!

As to kid stuff, my own experience was aged around 10/11, me & my 2 best friends (all of us girls) had some very interesting times examining each others bits, but it was also combined with "well, so what do you reckon happens when a boy does XYZ?" stuff: ie: on the surface it would seem lesbian orientated, but we were fully aware this was a pleasurable experiment designed to set us up for future hetero based sex. No way were we innocent!

Anyway, let's get back to 2legs & his sheets & towels dilemmas.

Minions!!!There shall be minions! And fluffy & chiffon scarves! And bedposts with convenient knobs! And oiled & glossy slave types hovering with peeled grapes!

zdt

At the end of the day... I think sex is ment to be fun... dirty... kinky... pleasurable... I havne't ever found that its less so when its not ina full time relationship versus a one night stand/with a regular 'sesson' with someone, I dunno... maybe it is differnt for men maybe its differnt for gay/bi men come to that I don't* own any pink fluffy handcuffs... mine are metal and not at all fluffy.... they're silvery coloured I think

This post has been removed.

I guess that for me, I'm slightly removed from sex a lot of the time. I'll partake, and joyously so! But unless it's awful, it's not a deal-breaker. What could be is if it's bad because of an inability to communicate... But that's merely indicative of a larger issue, isnt it Relationships aren't sex for me. Sex is a kind of relationship though. Essentially I have a ground rule... Nobody gets in my bed (or anywhere else that I wouldnt enjoy (and like) to spend a good weekend with, chatting, hanging out, screwing, all of it. If that person does not stimulate me mentally as well as physically, if I have no reason to be around them, sex wont happen...

I decided a while back (about the time I started sleeping with one of my exes, with 's permission of course) that I didn't have a problem having sex with someone I didn't love. However, I would not sleep with someone that I didn't respect. Mind, I'm polyamorous so maybe that makes things different.

BEG

Why? I see no problem with sex without love... (I have plenty of it ) So long as it's an equal and mutually agreeable scenario. But for me it is a preference to have the two together, and when I have that I'm strongly monogamous... I've done my experimenting and I know now from experience what I like.

I also have to be stimulated mentally as well as physically.
For me it must be both otherwise i can take care of myself thank you very much

Ooh, that made me think. In answer to the thread title: The real thing is best, but it's not enough on it's own.

ooo naughty naughty... we've had a posting removed personally I find the whole mental side of it very important; hence why ... I'm a bit of a fan of the sub/Dom thing, which is as muchin some ways, to do with metal control/submition etc.,

I think most reasonably intelligent, well balanced adults enjoy sex as a mind and body experience. Rather like these chat pages, it's a good way to stimulate mind and body to make achieve complete experience. Sex/love making should be about being totally open, honest and unselfish. Too many people treat it selfishly, takes the fun out of it, frankly they may as well go and pay for it, if that is all they want. Not that I know anything about these things, being a lonely old frt.

I think we're doing pretty well to only have one removed... Arent we good?

I'm glad we all pretty much agree on sex being something to be shared, enjoyed and not abused (unless with adult informed consent )... We're lovely

Well said, Minx, I still haven't forgiven you for taking a big sharp stick and prodding my psyche . No less than I deserved, last person who was that good was the Head of Modern Languages at Exeter Uni, (not you again doynee of Exeter.) I had to add an appendum to "myself", revealing a lot more than I should with people as good as you around. Peel away the feathers, you may not like what you find, but carry on if you dare! It could be very dangerous and might not work anyway.

Gotta go, somethings kicked off again. Going to be one of those days.

If the physical benefits were not so rewarding, the actual sight of us having at each other would be enough to have us laughing too hard to complete, well..the work at hand?