h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

i just wish i never told that to anyone!

we love ya

we do

who knows
you may be the man that revived the prostate exam and saved lives...


you might be imortalised outside the clinic in bronze

or... even have a song written bout ya..

take a bow

and the note on the statue reads.....



One small spurt for mankind..........

I had a ferret called Felix.

At another time i kept guinea pigs & one of them ejaculated on my feet every time i tried to take him out of the cage for a run around.

I wish i could have this effect on men; maybe i should keep them locked up for longer?

Hmm; yes, "Prostrate/prostate:@ss over& a load of warlocks" the h2g2 guide to perviness; sounds good to me.

Come on, where's this banjo tune? At least give up the song structure so we can start twanging our brain cells....

zdt

he's probably still composin it..

anyway, hows u?

i am frozen solid tonight, have my lekkie blankie on and gonna retire in a bit with a pile of paperwork and a dvd.

Me be weepy, but me will no doubt get over it.

Sounds a bit over there; glad i have my nice warm pussy to snuggle up to, ahhh, some things they just can't take away eh!

zdt

Big warm for Terri.

Weepy? Email me if you like. (you haven't replied to the last one yet)

Me still not in bed. Not good...

There might be a little competition for the banjo song: F2025675?thread=2060693

Ah, there's the competition!

Oh, it's not a competition!

We poetic types just love the opportunity to get our creative juices flowing

Ahem.

I did write a stonker on the 12 string earlier but I'm doing the song words (ooh, Smash Hits flashback) myself. Unless I find myself writing about smoking/drinking/constipation/bus queues again, in which case it'll be open season!

Listen - Lady Muse stikes when she chooses, whether that be on the john or at the bus-stop! Go with it my friend!

i'll leave you 2 to it..

how bout converting a robbie burns ditty to banjo ..

then you have yer lyrics ready made..lol


i particularly like that one..


Oh Darling Flo,
I Love you so,
Especially in yer nightie
when the moonlight flits
across yer tits
oh Jesus Christ almighty..


What!!! it's famous poetry

i'm trying to bring an air of decorum to this thread

some class and some eddycashion


oh well. at least i tried

good luck with yer musical endeavours
i'm off to watch repeat of desperate housewives and snore me brains out

Terri..

have this bucket of smarties and try to smile at least once every 10 minutes.. it really does help.tey a huge big grinning false one... after a while it seems so rediculous that you will end up laughing..

it really really will be ok. believe me..

i dont want yer pussy to keep me warm..sorry if that is not what you wanted to hear!!

or a ferret

i'll make do with a small polar bear and some tigers..

You?


An air of decorum?



Excuse me while I

And since when did the willy thread need an air of decorum?

Nice idea on the Burns BTW!

Just emailed you!

Hmm; nice linking themes those,

*Bus twenty two
I need a poo
"ah ha sir, and you?"

We're in the right queue.

"mine's gone away"
We could wait here all day
"Eeek, it's Pay & Display!"

We're in the right queue.*

That sort of theme?

zdt

Believe it or not, it fits!

I've got the mail. A quick reply's on the way, a more considered one will be there when I've finished the b*gger!

Proper reply has been sent.

Damn. Who invented neighbours and early hours? I want to try those lyrics with the banjo!

I am hellishly lucky in that i have very thick walls &/or apparently deaf or very nice neighbours on one side & none at all on the other, have had 5am jams with Marshalls here no probs!!! currently playing Sufjan Stevens full blast at 4am.

here be more lyrics, see if they fit....

Lyrics to follow, tried to post on hootoo but the hampsters are going stupid again:

<<<oooh! Shall i trot off a few more verses; let's all join in! this is the most exciting thing that's happened to me all day!

"Oh look, here it comes!"
We're all clenching our bums
But it's bus twenty one

we're not in the right queue

*nice little plaintive banjo break eh?*
Into the middle eight type stuff

Ohhhhh.....it comes upon me
Ohhhhh.....i just can't wait
Ohhhhh.....i feel it haaamering
Ohhhhh.....it's much too late

*widdly diddly banjo, getting frantic; X2 speed now

"Gimme a fag, gimme fag, fag fag fag
gimme fag, gimme gimme gimme quick"
"sorry mate, can you just shuffle over
whatever you're up to, it's making me sick"

"are we in the right queue?"
"i just need a poo"
"It's bus twenty two" X2*could do some nice double harmony on this bit

*slow plaintive lament

Ah, the wait is over
Ah, relief is here
Ah , believe your bottoms
Twenty two is here....

We're in the right queue!*repeat, with rising intonation & speed, final crescendo ending in gargantuan fart. Followed by "Aaaaahhhh!"

zdt

(Haven't I seen those before somewhere?)

Have you got any strange young blokes in your loft in mid February? If not, could you arrange one to be hanging around on the offchance an english chap turns up?

(sorry, HooToo's much quicker than Gmail!)