A Conversation for Ask h2g2

My penis and I - what do women think of penises?

Post 4701

Bassman - Funny how people never ceases to amaze me!

I used to be rediculously fit (yeh I know - hard to believe) and cycling was my poison so-to-speak. I bought this pair of black velvet trousers to wear on stage, but ended up going to see a band that I'd used to be in first. One of the guys at work was there with his girlfriend Amanda, who happened to know most of the girls in the club that night. She took me round to get my arse groped by every single one of them....

cosmicsmiley - biggrin

Amanda said my backside was like two hard-boiled eggs wrapped tightly in a hankie!



Bassman smiley - coolsmiley - biker


My penis and I - what do women think of penises?

Post 4702

Jackruss a Grand Master of Tea and Toast, Keeper of the comfy chair, who is spending a year dead for tax reasons! DNA!

this mink glove thingy (holds up the mink glove thingy and waves it)

but we have got it on use atm


BRBsmiley - blush


My penis and I - what do women think of penises?

Post 4703

2legs - Hey, babe, take a walk on the wild side...

smiley - bigeyes hey! can anyone join in? smiley - erm *randomly gropes someone smiley - blushsmiley - whistle weren't me smiley - whistlesmiley - run


My penis and I - what do women think of penises?

Post 4704

Researcher 1463359

Dildo all. Started reding backlog but my brain fell out and I had to put it back on through my left ear. So, how's it going with T&Y's guy then? Got his ball in a glass box on the mantlepiece yet?


My penis and I - what do women think of penises?

Post 4705

Primeval Mudd (formerly Roymondo)

smiley - yikes 2legs, that wasn't a grope, that was a yank!smiley - injured

Damn, I'll never have kids now.smiley - erm


My penis and I - what do women think of penises?

Post 4706

Researcher 1463359

Well if 2legs groped you, who was it that groped me?

I noticed that you guys all have perv names, i think I remember posting in that discussion. I don't know, like I said, my brain fell out. But now I can't find it. Maybe George ate it.


My penis and I - what do women think of penises?

Post 4707

Primeval Mudd (formerly Roymondo)

It was probably RF that groped you - and I don't even think he's online!

He is also the man to see for a B.Perv (Hons).


My penis and I - what do women think of penises?

Post 4708

Bassman - Funny how people never ceases to amaze me!

I was awarded a B. Perv (Hons) and I didn't even have to ask....

smiley - erm What EXACTLY does that say about me?



Bassman smiley - coolsmiley - biker


My penis and I - what do women think of penises?

Post 4709

A Super Furry Animal

Dildo, dickheads! smiley - biggrin

Right, just catching up here...hurriedly awards B.Perv (Hons) to Aye Bee...for services to the perving industry!

Right, can't remember who said it, but whoever it was said their boyfriend chooses dinner over sex needs to give him some serious attitude adjustment. Me, I like to have sex before dinner - sex after dinner gives me indigestion, heartburn, flatulence and any number of other disorders. Besides, I like to work up an appetite!

RF


My penis and I - what do women think of penises?

Post 4710

zendevil


Right, fellow pervies; me be in the mood for fun; me viking with perfect bum be asleep 'cos the bloody telly broke down.

So: can't find a mink glove, but have a nice ferret skin mitten here, so, starting with my favourite wench let's do a nice bit of bum rubbing, come on, line up & bend over when i say so (cor, am i dominant or what!)

Hmm; smiley - piratewench, i still maintain your bum has been unappreciated all its life, look, the colour is coming back to its cheeks alreadysmiley - loveblush

2 legs, er, hate to say this but if you examine your left buttock...no, lower down..yes, just there, i think you will find a small but perfectly formed spot.*passes the Clearasil* apart from that dear, lovely jubbly.

Roymondo, those knickers just won't do, love. Bend over a bit more...ooh yes, that's better,those thighs are very nice aren't they?smiley - drool

Bassman, my sweet...i do enjoy scrambled eggs actually! The hips have stood the test of time very nicelysmiley - ok; it's all that rhythmic pelvic thrusting onstage innit?!

Now, come on, i can see you Rev, stop lurking....awwwwsmiley - smoochcuddly bum type; how nice!

Ok kids, my turn please; just a minute, while i brush the ferret mitten, oops a claw dropped off...can you all please search for it?

zdt


My penis and I - what do women think of penises?

Post 4711

Bassman - Funny how people never ceases to amaze me!

Pelvic thrusting with a truly massive instrument I may add.

(The black one I've got is soooo big, I can barely get it in the car!!)



Bassman smiley - coolsmiley - biker


My penis and I - what do women think of penises?

Post 4712

zendevil


*faints at the very thought*

Can i have just a teeny weeny little pluck????

zdt


My penis and I - what do women think of penises?

Post 4713

Cutiechops:0)...............' THE LOUNGS '.............NUMBER 1FAN''...;0)

smiley - bigeyes...

Erm.... can i have a pluck at that big thing aswell,or maybe that should be a gropesmiley - drool


My penis and I - what do women think of penises?

Post 4714

zendevil



Oooh, a group grope of Bassmans big thingy!smiley - wow hey, Reddyfreddy's here too, Bassman, you had better be careful, this could end in tears before bedtime....that will teach you to boast about the size of it eh!smiley - winkeye

zdt


My penis and I - what do women think of penises?

Post 4715

A Super Furry Animal

Well, I don't think my behind's ever been described as a "hard-boiled egg"...probably more of a soft-poached one, if anything?

RFsmiley - evilgrin


My penis and I - what do women think of penises?

Post 4716

zendevil


awww...*slides a nice piece of toast under said bum* mmm; yummy!

zdt


My penis and I - what do women think of penises?

Post 4717

Cutiechops:0)...............' THE LOUNGS '.............NUMBER 1FAN''...;0)

smiley - droolsounds quite yummy to me toosmiley - drool


My penis and I - what do women think of penises?

Post 4718

A Super Furry Animal

Ooh *behave*!

RFsmiley - evilgrin


My penis and I - what do women think of penises?

Post 4719

zendevil


*pours dribbles of smiley - tomatoketchup slowly over the yummy yolks & picks up fork, ready to tuck in*

zdt


My penis and I - what do women think of penises?

Post 4720

2legs - Hey, babe, take a walk on the wild side...

*IS TOO DRUNK TO FIGURE OUT EXALTY WHAT IS HAPEHING (LIKE USUELA) SO SUBMITTTS TOTALLY TO THE NEAREST LOOKING MASTER


Key: Complain about this post

Write an Entry

"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is a wholly remarkable book. It has been compiled and recompiled many times and under many different editorships. It contains contributions from countless numbers of travellers and researchers."

Write an entry
Read more