h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The first phone call ever was made on my birthday-March 10th
I read that in one of those birthday book things, actually it may not seem that useless or at least that irrelevant to my dad who pays may cell phone bill

I'm sure they invented phones before March the 10th. I distinctly remember using one at least a couple of times last year, and the year before that.

You can get almost any joke yikesed from the 'Tell us a joke' thread if you are sad enough, and work on it. The exception is; "What's brown and sticky?"

noticed that.

However, somebody cut and pasted one of mines before it was yikesed, but I've forgotten what thread they pasted it into. It would be interesting to see if it was yikesed there too !

'My friend (for so it will be convenient to speak of him) has expounded a recondite matter to me...'
If you record yourself saying "America" and reverse the waveform, it says, on playback, "A Grandma". It also works the other way around, as well.
Not as cool as a time machine, but still really cool!
PWT

The Turkish word for exaggeration is fart.

Sharks can fart 1,000,000 times underwater.

RF

So can humans

If they spend enough time in the water...

PWT

can we have a smiley please

Yeah, we should have one of those. The closest thing we have to it is .
PWT

If you hold your ear up to it makes a whoosh sound.

I was thinking more like low-flying planes

If a shark can smell a drop of blood from over three miles away, which is allegedly true, how sensitive is it to a shark fart? although conversely if your average shark does fart close to 1,000,000 times underwater and there are millions, or at least hundreds of thousands of sharks globally, then that is a helluva lot of shark fart. It must be the base smell of the ocean so they are probably desensatised to it by now.

When you go the sea side and someone breathes in deeply and goes emphatically 'ahh smell that sea air!' you would be pretty safe in educating them wth a 'actually thats shark fart that is'.

In 1991 at PWHQ High Wycombe I shook then Prime Minister John Majors hand. Then I gripped it very firmly and asked very loudly as he was being filmed by TV camera's for Newsroom Southeast "What's the possibilty of a decrease on servicemens poll tax?". And I felt a hand on my shoulder (whoever it was, I stamped on his foot discretely - I assume it was one of his bodyguards) then Mr Major said "Oh, I'd have to consider that" and I let his hand go and he quickly moved on to shake someone else's hand. I legged it out of the room (actually hearing someone say "grab that man" as i left) and offski'd to the Naafi bar as fast as my mountain bike could carry me.

I became a hero for that! and it was on the frigging news!

EMI stands for Electrical Musical Instruments

In 1933 a 19 year old Japanese student, Kiyoko Matsumoto, committed suicide by jumping into the 1000 foot crater of a volcano on the island of Oshima.
This sparked a flood of copycat suicides, and over 300 children followed him in the next few months.

Not a shark in sight.

Sharks cannot vomit while submerged under lava.

Y.

Can you provide a link to a credible scientific study reinforcing that claim?

http://www.newscientist.com/channel/fundamentals/sharksvomitingunderlava.html

RF