h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

We had a quite good looking Native man who was a regular in the art supply store. An artist of some renown I understand, though I didn't know at the time. He always came in with his agent.

He would chat with me and was quite charming.

Just a few days before I left my job, he was in. After he left, my friend said "I was horrified. He nearly fell down the stairs to the basement! His heels were so high this time, that he nearly fell on the way down."

I looked confused, I guess, because she said.... "His high heels! You've seen the shoes he wears!"

Actually, I never had. I was usually on the wrong side of the counter or the other side of the store when he came in. By then he was in the car and I didn't get a chance to see his feet.

Apparently, he always wears ladies high-heeled shoes..... Since he always wears jeans and lumberjack shirts ("real man shirts"), and had no other articles of clothing that indicated anything by your average Joe, I was completely bemused....

We did have this annoying fellow who came into the Chapters where I worked (there, I said .... It was a Chapters I worked). This was someone I had seen over the years around town who wore a nurses uniform and had a pony-tail. However, he never made any more than a cursory attempt feminine-ness. He never shaved and sort of galumphed around.

When he started frequenting the store I learned that he also didn't bathe.

I had ample opportunity to ascertain this as I was always the person called to help him. I was always more tolerant of the odder customer (believe it or not) because I figure as long as they make the pretense of being interested in purchasing something, it is my job to help them, if I can (I did draw the line at certain people).

I was also about the only person who knew anything at all about the computer books and computers. He usually had some really complicated question about either his computer or about a book that he bought or was going to buy.

As well, I am bilingual. My French isn't world class, but I can do fairly well in retail French.

He would come in and either would come right to me for help, or I would get a call to come and help him at the cash. When I knew it was him, I would grab one of the Fancophone sales clerks and we would todlle off to help him.

The other sales clerk was a must, as I couldn't understand a word he said. I understand French. However, he not only spoke in a real Jouale which I couldn't make head or tale of, he stuttered....

So, there would be the three of us. He would speak French to me. The other girl would translate to English for me, and I would then answer him in French....

i'm bookmarking too

xx

" " "

Hey! I think I actually heard that broadcast.

Did you?

Well, once upon a time I worked in a self-serve gas station. In general, I enjoyed the job, but occasionally someone would wedge the nozzle open with their gas tank cap, which is against the law. The maximum fines were quite impressive with a couple of thousand for the person actually doing it, several thousand for the attendant and even higher for the gas station owner. So, when I noticed this I would turn off the pump. Usually the person would check the nozzle thinking the tank was full and remove the cap at which point I'd turn the pump back on.

Well, one time I had an older gentleman who wedged the nozzle open. I shut the pump off. He checked it and I turned it back on at which point he wedged it open again. So I turned the pump off and asked him to remove the gas cap.

When he came up to pay, he went ballistic, swearing at me and so on. I calmly explained that you're not allowed to wedge a self-serve nozzle open and that's why I turned the pump off. He was literally turning red and used some extremely colourful language. I calmly replied that he could take his change and leave.

He looked like he was going to come right through the window and said he wanted to see the manager. Well, the manager wasn't on duty and the supervisor in the oil change area was under a car. I offered to take his name and number and have someone call him.

He spouted off foul stuff and stormed away muttering obscenities.

The next three customers who had been waiting in line behind him to pay each said "I'd like to see the manager or have him call me, please. That guy had no right to treat you like that." and they all took the time to write a note to my boss. That made me feel a bit better.

I documented the whole thing in triplicate, wrote down the pinhead's license plate and added a note of my own that if he ever showed up on my shift again, I was going to refuse to serve him.

The district manager saw a copy of my report and those of the customers behind him and did one better. He banned the guy from all the gas stations in the district.

About six months later, who shows up but buddy. I ponder the situation, let his pump beep for a while and finally authorized it. I was civil with him when he came to pay. He was very subdued and very polite this time -- he almost certainly recognized me and probably had been refused at another station since he went ballistic.

Oh, did I mention that his wife was in the car both visits? The first time she looked mortified.

Since then, if I've ever witnessed a customer dumping on a clerk for no readily apparent reason, I've made some comments to the clerk's boss-type.

First time I ever heard of customers complaining, in writing, about another customer.

I once worked in a camera store. Everybody heard that right didn't they? A CAMERA STORE! The shop floor was set out with racks of film and photographic paper, there was a large display of tripods in the corner and numerous cabinets containing both used and new camera equipment. You get the idea. Some people didn't!

Ten to five one Friday evening, a guy bursts through the door with a pair of trousers over his arm and asks "You're not a tailor's are you?"

Was still laughing on Monday morning.

Good one!

I worked Saturdays in an electrical retailer while I was at school. This was in the days when CDs were a pretty wacky new thing, and most people who wanted music off a disc were still physically sticking a needle in a scratched piece of plastic.

So Mrs. Averagedumbhousewife walks over to the CD players and asks the freshfaced youngster what they do. An enthusiastic demonstration follows, look madam, I can touch them all over like this and it doesn't matter, see, I can scratch the surface with my fingernail with no problem, listen to the wonderful clear reproduction, no hissing and crackling and look, I can go straight to track six just like that. Plus, they'll last forever because nothing touches the disc except a beam of light.

She's impressed. She has ONE question. Is it easy to get the needles for them? Because she's had trouble getting a needle for her old record player.

Youngster is confused. Youngster remembers distinctly telling her there was no needle no more than sixty seconds ago. So, I try again. There is NO needle, madam.

So how does it work?

It was then I made the mistake which cost me a sale. I used a word I should not have used in the presence of a lady - or at least not this lady.

"Laser".

It uses a laser.

She immediately looked terrified. She looked around the shop nervously, frowned intimidatingly at me, and said "I'm NOT having a LASER in MY house!". She left the shop. I had to go and have a little sit down in the stockroom. I was able to stop laughing and resume work after twenty minutes or so.

I assumed her knowledge of "lasers" was limited to what she'd seen of "Star Wars". I wonder if she's got a CD player yet...

H.

Nice!

Is it just me though or do you find after working in retail and getting all the crap that comes with it, you tend to be a better customer when you go to stores yourself? Cause you know what the clerk is going through and you've been there yourself?

Indeed...

I try to be the best damn customer I can be. It bugs me no end to have a customer ahead of me treating a clerk badly. Now that I am on the other side of the counter, I am free to speak my mind to morons who abuse the staff of a shop.

I don't hesitate to straighten them out, there and then. If it can be done politely and kindly, great. If not, I am more than willing to embarass them.

I don't know about you, but Labour Day should officially be the day where the people who work with the public get the day off and the people who normally harrass them have to come in and do their jobs. Getting a taste of what it is like to have to deal with the public might (might) sober a few of them up.

My ex used to say "Why didn't you just tell the guy to f*** off? I would." Yet, when I finally quit my job at Chapters because of the stress or both the customers and the management, he couldn't understand.

I agree that people who've had to deal with the public do tend to be better customers themselves. I won't tolerate people berating workers in front of me, and I make a point of voicing my appreciation for good service.

On the other hand, I've become quite intolerant of BAD service, after years of customer service training courses. I'm not talking about the teenager at the burger joint being a little slow to take my order, that's not a huge deal. But if that same teenager is slow and RUDE, or if the food is substandard, I won't hesitate to speak to a supervisor.

Nothing will drive away business faster than poor service.

I once went to a MacDonalds in New York City (right across from Macy's 5th Avenue). It was 10 am and the staff was busy getting ready for the lunch rush. Despite the fact that people were industriously making the necessary preparations AND serving customers, the manager was standing in the middle of the work area and screaming at the top of his lungs "Hurry up! Get f***ing moving! You lazy a**holes. This place better be f***ing ready beofre it gets busy or I'll f***ing fire every f***ing one of you..."

Lovely.

I tried to find some way of making a complaint about this but the only method MacDonald's has is "customer comment" cards which you give to the manager. I doubted that the manager particularily cared if I didn't like the way he treated his staff.

It really irks me that really big companies don't have an email, address, 1-800 #, or snail-mail address available to complain (or to give praise). Some companies have a phone number, but long-distance charges apply.... Others have such complicated voice-mail systems that you never find someone to talk to.

The worst voice-mail system I ever experienced was for US Immigration... You had to listen to one of the hundreds of information messages before you got a prompt to get to their actual voice mail. Some of these messages were 5 minutes long. I found a way around that by picking the "Report a Illegal Alien" message and as soon as the message started, pressing the number to get to the voice mail.

Once you got to the voice mail, you would get the "To speak to an Immigration and Naturalization officer, press **" message. From there it was anything from 1/2 an hour wait to an hour or longer before someone would pick up.

At one point, their phone system was not working and after waiting forever for an officer, as soon as they picked up the phone, you got cut off. Since they only have the one number, and no one, not even the Federal Government information office would call them to let them know that there was a problem. For weeks, just at a crucial stage in our application, I was unable to call them.

I sort of wonder how long it took them to figure out there WAS a problem.

"Hey, Phil. It's very quiet this month... Not one phone call!"

"Yeah, Dave. I wonder why that is?"

"I dunno."

"Me either."

"Nope..."

"Nope..."

Yeah, I did.

I'm of the opnion now that most people think that being a customer gives them the right to do what the hell they please and act in any way they want to.

Not on my shift they don't.

I'm also of the opinion that if you're on that (customer) side of the counter, there's absolutely nothing that gives you the right to treat anyone on this (sales) side of the counter in any way other then that which you'd like to be treated. Nothing whatsoever unless the person on this side of the counter has been rude to you.

I'll gladly stand up for any sales assistant I see being abused by an arrogant a***hole.

Recently, there have been so many stories about "air rage". Everyone asks "Why the sudden appearance of Air Rage? What is causing it?"

My personal opinion is just a rather extreme example of what happens when people are brought up to believe that they have rights that supercede the rights of others. The only difference between the guy who gets pi$$ed off when he can't return something and goes ballistic and the guy who goes ballistic when refused another drink on an airline, is that the latter is in an enclosed space at several thousand feet in the air.

Sure, it is easy to blame long lines at the airport, overbooked flights, delays, and/or the fact that they don't feed you. However, I have flown a lot and NEVER gotten pi$$ed off at the stewards. From the stories I have read, most of the people who go nuts on planes are not frequent fliers.

Likely, they are the same people who spit at a clerk because they won't let them use the staff phone and suggest the public phone just a short distance away; or start screaming at them when they ask them to leave the store because it is closing time; or throw a tantrum when the book they have been studying from for the last week and is so dog-eared that it will never be sold was removed from the table where they left it while they went for lunch and reshelved.

Personally, I was raised to have respect for myself and respect for others. I have the right to be treated with respect no matter which side of the counter I stand on. I also desreve respect from the people I work for.

I have many times tried to sit down and write an entry on 'Why Over-Zealous Customer Service has Ruined Society', but I can never get very far without getting all

The expectations of most customers are now ludicrously high, unreasonably high, and it's out of control. Peoples working lives are being made miserable by customers who have become so used to getting what they want (and more) when they want it, that all I see when I look out from the counter is a bunch of adult sized children, all tugging at their Mother's dress and going 'Mum Mum Mum Mum Mum Mum Mum Mum Mum Mum Mum Mum Mum Mum Mum Mum' the way that kids do when they're trying to get attention. I'm the dress they're tugging at. I reckon I can deal with three people at a time and give them all good service, but I seem to spend a good deal of my day with six or seven customers pulling on my coattails, and I really don't think that any of them are aware of the others It's like driving - the more cars there are on the road, the more selfish, blinkered, and downright crazy that drivers get

I once had a customer (who was slightly drunk) ask me for shaving foam- he was completely oblivious to the fact he had wet himself, and that a long damp patch of urine had appeared down his trouser leg...

I once worked on reception / telephone in a car dealership. The people who came in to the dealership were easy to deal with, normally only wanting brochures or needing to be shown the display of paint colours. The ones who were harder to handle were the people who phoned in. I'd get the customer's life story, or the life history of their car, before I got a chance to say, "I'm only the receptionist. If you just hold, I'll try to put you through to our Service / Parts department." (Delete as appropriate.) Alternatively I'd get somebody phoning up with a complaint who seemed to think it was OK to take out their aggravation on the first person they spoke to, regardless of the fact I had no way of rectifying whatever was wrong.

We once had a really arrogant man phone in who wanted a full service done on his Volkswagen - it was a Vauxhall dealership! Eventually he let me put him through to the Service department. I later asked what had happened and my colleague said, "He was so nasty that I quoted him top price for parts and service. It's not a make we normally deal with, and we shouldn't have to cope with that kind of attitude from customers anyway." And so say all of us.

As it should be.

After reading this thread I'm probably going to start interfering with stroppy customers in shops I don't work in now...