h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Ah... right... OK. Ping shouldn’t exist in whatever other way people use it; it just comes wrong.

* Sounds wrong. What the hell planet am I on today...?

Web pages that give me a list of instructions for how I should change my browser settings if I want the page to be in any way usable.

NO. Sod off. Design your website properly if you want me to use it - I'm not going to do the work for you.

What site is that?

My petty hate? I can’t think of a damn thing to put into me radio show. It’s 2 hours and on Sunday. Someone help me! Can anyone think of any good pop songs for me? Anything you’d like to hear? My boss is going to kill me...

Good pop songs? That's an oxymoron...

Anna?

Just play Pink Floyd, 'Pulse' disc one, then put disc two on and !!!!!




GT

Yeah, I was thinking of playing Another Brick In The Wall but we have to stick to pop for most of it cos of the time of day...

Personally I don't think you can beat a bit of Barry Manilow (particularly Copacabana) or Bill Withers Lovely Day ...

Does "pop" just mean that you have to play allllll the songs that are always heard in shopping centres? If so, just turn on Radio One, note down the songs, and play them in a different order.

As long as I don't have to listen.

PHoD ... reading 'news' articles and then finding no immediate way of seeing footage of the incident they refer to, in this supposedly wireless world ...

Examples include the Chelsea footballer mouthing off at the referee after their lost European semifinal (Drogba?) and the story over in the News section about newly released footage of Michael Jackson's head catching on fire while filming a Pepsi ad.

People who talk loudly in libraries. I've got nothing against talking, but talking loudly (in a library), is just wrong.

Absolutely ... and especially when it's the librarian ...

Which also reminds me of the issue I had with an ex- ... she only had two volume settings ... loud and inaudibly quiet. Generally everything even face-to-face conversation would be said in an above average volume voice. The latter would come in to use when she was bitching about the neighbours from the comfort of the front room with brick walls/ windows/ curtains, about 10 metres of garden, their brick walls already stopping them overhearing ... Oh, actually there was a 3rd setting ... flippin' loud.

King Bomba, pop could mean anything but I’m throwing in a few rock songs to keep myself happy when I’m behind the mic.

There was someone on the phone in the cinema the other day. Quietly, and only for a minute, but that is not done.

Bad writing. I was in a shop yesterday in the changing rooms and there was a sign referring to new security measures brought in to reduce shoplifting from the changing rooms.

It began "Due to the high thefts...." - makes it sound like things only get stolen from the top floor or something.

You could put it down to english as a second language, but a bakery near us was open for only a few weeks before closing, and a sign going up in the window "Closure due to fatal location."

Are you sure there wasn't an industrial accident?

Internet articles on the BBC that have footage attached. Invariably the article is really just a bunch of quote from the footage.

Second complaint is that they then misquote to avoid slightly dodgy words ... e.g. Tom Watson misses out on winning The Open ... in the interview he says "It would have been a helluva story" ... the caption below the film clip says "It would have been a great story - Watson".

Today's petty hate: Companies dropping a product, then bringing it back a few years later with 'New' on the packaging. In this case, a few years ago a certain supermarket dropped their own brand of our favourite tea (Darjeeling, around £1.30 for 50 teabags) and replaced it with a much more expensive version (Second crop Darjeeling, or something, around £2 for 20 teabags). Yesterday hubby went shopping and found they'd started doing the old Darjeeling teabags again, at the same price but branded as 'NEW'.

Do they think we're stupid or do they believe we have short memories? This is not a new product, even if they've changed the blend (which I doubt). It's just a supermarket that's realised they can't sell their overpriced replacement and they're losing sales to a competing brand.