h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Mr PP, do "draw" and "drawer" sound different to you? They are identical to my ear, if they aren't to yours then what is your accent like?

My petty hate of the day: getting snow on your trouser cuffs without noticing then getting a cold, soggy surprise when you sit down...

Draw and Drawer sound different to me (draw/draw-urr) but I can't say I've ever noticed anyone using draw where they meant drawer unless they had one of those accents where r's don't seem to get pronounced so much so things like "er" are pronounced like "uh" instead of, well, "er"

They are difficult to differentiate between (I hate having to say the name "Carl").

I can do the draw / drawer thing once or twice but attempting it repeatedly makes my mouth go out of control.

My accent? Wiltshire to age 10. Yorkshire to age 21. Hertfordshire ever since. So a horrible flat "a" as in "bath" (not baarth). "u" as in "mug" (not meg). And when I hear myself on a recording I think it sounds plummy and arrogant. And I sing in a band.

I prefer typing.

So I give you my latest petty hate.

My voice. Thanks for making me think of that.

PP

And now you've brought to mind:-

Singers who sing in a pseudo American accent.

Oh, boy. I'm on a roll.

PP

"colleagues who are so worried about getting home 3 miles away that they have to go home mid-afternoon when the roads are fine (I drove past this colleagues house 4 times testerday in connection with my job - the last time 6 hours after she had gone home."

Yeah pathetic isn't it? I bet if you made it into a reality TV show and offered them £100,000 prize ... they wouldn't have any problem staying on ... but hey, this is only their job that they get paid to do ...

Just did an official measurement of my local snow ... it was down to the second knuckle of my forefinger. (And just to clarify that's taken from the tip of finger rather than from the centre of the body ...)

Yes, I agree with the country grinding to a halt for snow... in Finland and Russia, it reaches at least -40 or below before they even think of stopping work, closing schools etc. What leads me to detest ABBA? Everything about them. Absolutely everything. Add to that they are from Sweden [a country I dislike, having been and hated it], and there you have it in a nutshell.

Crumbly cheese. What's the point? You can't cut it into slices-it falls apart, you can't grate it-it falls apart. It smears itself over your hands when you try to handle it in any way

I love cheese, and some crumbly cheese tastes great, but why can't all cheese be of the kind that you can slice?

I read research a year or so back, that said that cheese sandwiches can't taste any more cheesy once you cut the slices beyond a certain thickness.. something like 2mm. Any thicker and you wont taste any more cheese, you'll just be using more cheese for nothing.

So another thing I hate about crumbly cheese- you can't portion control it because slices turn into lumps.

Great for salads or pasta, though

That reminds me - I've been trying to find an old-fashioned cheese board for ages, one with the wire instead of a knife. All I can find are those really tacky onyx or marble ones.

Can't find a cheese board but will this cheese forum do?

www.cheeseforum.org

OK, how do you get even-sized crumbly bits into the salad then? I can't fathom it
The wire always slackens over time with these cheese-boards. Though I agree, when functioning correctly and not marble, they are an excellent invention.

The Cheese Board. Sounds like an austere wartime food organisation. Or a naff eighties band.

Getting back to lights on cars - I think people who drive grey/silver cars without the lights on are very optimistic. A grey car against a grey sky and a grey road is nigh on invisible and deserves to be crashed into (Ooh, getting aggressive now!) if it doesn't have its lights on.

I thought it was due to my age and deteriorating vision, but some very young colleagues of mine have confirmed this petty hate. I put lights on at the slightest sign of rain, or as soon as I think the dashboard looks a bit dark, and certainly as soon as I see a grey car without lights (which is usually when it's only about 100 yards away when conditions are adverse. You hear them before you see them.)

As Malabarista said above, in Germany it is recommended to have lights on at all times. I prefer it that way.

I also find it easier to judge the speed of a car if it comes at me with its lights on. It's not as if they're blindingly bright.

I rather like the feature that most modern cars have of automatic headlights. No thinking required, no leaving lights on accidentally and no forgetting to put them on either.

But I hate automatic windscreen wipers - they never work when you want them to, then they come on at the lightest speck of rain and just smear the windscreen.

Ahhh ... talking about lights on car and invisibility ... reminds me of cyclists ... two petty hates ...

one) those who are cycling in black clothing, say at 7am, before it's got light; especially on rainy days. Yes, they invariably have lights, but it's still nigh on impossible to see them when visibility is poor. Get yourselves bright, yellow jackets.

two) the ones who use the single carriageway road when there is a cycle pavement right next to it ...

Trailers on the beginning of DVDs that are nothing whatsoever to do with the film. That you can't zumm through either

Pages and pages of copyright statements in a multitude of languages at the end of a DVD, when you cannot skip them but there are extras you would like to see.

"How's my driving" stickers on the back of lorries and vans.

I want to ring and tell them that the lorry in front is driving perfectly well. However, I want to report that I'm driving too close because my eyesight is poor and I had to getr close to read the notice, too fast AND I'm on the phone to them whilst I'm driving.

PP

DVDs- Hit the "Menu" button; usually skips everything.


Automation- Apart from doors, I hate absolutely everything to do with automation, from cars to toilets. Especially the toilets.

Automated toilets? What, do they drag you in to take a leak whether you like it or not?