h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

CLODs:

The Daily Mash!!

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/news-headlines/pensioner-completes-motorway-middle-lane-marathon-20070813342/

Also, having done a quick net search the general consensus is more women do it than men.

An interesting article about M-way 'phobia'.

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/driving/article386526.ece

Good article. My mum won't drive on motorways - just flat out refuses. I can understand people being intimidated. After I moved to a small island off the West Coast, it was 3 years before I returned to the mainland and I found the antics of the swarms of cars pretty scarifying. In fact, even walking through Glasgow I was deafened by the noise and choking on the filthy air.

Another petty hate for driving ... people who slow down / stop as they get to a roundabout while in one of those filter/fast-through lanes ... you know the ones separated from the rest of the roundabout by about 10 feet of white hashings, the ones that allow you to maintain your speed and ignore the roundabout ... this morning I nearly went into the back of a woman because she'd slowed down to about 10mph to check the traffic, while I was getting ready to go through the filter at my usual 50 ...

Ah yes ... and having read the article on motorway driving that's reminded me ... people who don't understand the approach lane ... you use it to accelerate up to speed and then slot into an appropriate gap with traffic doing about the same speed as you ... not sit near the junction and hope someone will slow down enough and flash their lights to let you in ...

I don't think I understand this middle-lane thing. Is it illegal to drive in the middle lane? If so, why didn't the police arrest him when they were obviously aware of what he was doing? And if not, why are you all getting so worked up about it?

I've had my driving license for, ooh that would be nearly a month now, and I've started to venture onto motorways. I take my car out on the M6 for a bit of a practice every so often. They're an interesting challenge aren't they?

I've found the biggest hazard to be, people who drive really too close to the person in front, so they couldn't stop if person did. But it's a matter of opinion isn't it?

Because my car really only just does 70 at a push I tend to stay in Lane 1 and over take lorries if I get the courage. If I don't then I just pootle along at whatever speed the lorry dose, cos that's still faster than the A roads.

I have noticed CLODs, but they seem to be doing 70 in the middle lane - so surely only really annoying if you want to do more than 70?

But it is annoying if I want to overtake a lorry but there's a row of CLODs in the middle lane.

70 - you're talking mph not kph, right? That confused me for a moment.

Petty hate of the day: being spammed by our utterly condescending professor, who is sending constant e-mails whose tone is like, say, a social worker talking to mentally handicapped children and trying to impress them by using big words Yes, Mr L, we all know how wonderful you are.

Mr X,

You are right, it's NOT illegal to drive along in the middle lane, but it is contrary to the highway code. And the CLOD makes one car into a two lane road block, thus reducing a three lane road to a two lane one. It's just plain bad driving.

My own spin on why people do this is that they just don't understand what the lanes on motorways are for. I don't think it's laziness or pig headedness at all.

(I didn't realise what I'd start when I mentioned this irritation a few posts back)

PP

You have to understand, where I live there are only ever two lane roads anyway. So I have trouble envisioning why this irritates you so.

Mr X: Difficult to explain but if you google 'middle lane hogs' or similiar you will see the vehement hatred of these people on forums etc.

People who drive with every light on their car turned on, no matter the conditions.

Also, gas discharge headlamps that dazzle from every angle.

and why do people have their car headlights on when its still light outside? you inform them that their lights are on and they`re like "oh i know"!

seems like the lights are on, but no ones home.

While I'm on a roll ... Shopping Malls

Soulless identikit facsimiles that scar our towns and cities.

What's depressing is so many of these malls are built on the sites of former industries which provided real jobs and a sense of community. A boy could leave school and get a job there with real training that paid a real wage that would, in time, support a family. They've gone and been replaced by retail jobs that trumpet "flexible working practices". Flexible for the employers maybe. Zero hours contracts, virtually zero training, a minimum wage that absolves employers from paying employees according to their worth and very little job security.

We crow a lot about equal opportunities and so many women now being in the workforce, but it's been at the expense of real jobs and real wages. Is it really a step forward for society if woman go to work not because they want to, not because they're entitled to, but because they have to as one wage can no longer support a family?

These shopping malls are the tombstones of the working man.

Actually, there are some countries where it's the law to always have your lights on - the cars are wired to turn them on automatically in Scandinavia, for example - and it's recommended that you always have them on in Germany, too, especially when driving along tree-lined streets. Even in the daytime, it helps with visibility. That's not to say you should keep your high-beams and fog lamp on, but having the normal headlamps on certainly isn't something to be cross about!

Volvo's have permanent lights on. It does reduce road deaths we just aren't used to it over here and some cars do seem to have strangely high dipped beams.

There are the morons how use psychology with headlights and front foglights to get people to move out of the way on motorways. I tend to as it signifies there's a moron behind me...as they pass it's usually a Fiat Uno having the @rse revved off it by some 17year old kid.

SWL ... are you sure that's just a *petty* hate?

I'll definitely agree with you about the the headlights. That drives me insane, and as far as I'm concerned, I could see you just as well without them. Better, even, since I'm not blinded by this white orb.

Having a bit of an adverts issue at the moment!

Ads for stool softeners and earwax disolvers when I'm trying to eat my dinner!
Adverts for stain removers which don't undestand the difference between a stain and a bit of egg yolk on a work surface! A stain cannot be removed with a bit of kitchen roll, numpty!
Adverts that make up scientific terms because they think we're stupid.
Adverts that promote their own products by saying how rubbish somebody elses product is...........

etc!

~*~Adverts that promote their own products by saying how rubbish somebody elses product is...........~*~

Every time somebody does that I refuse to use their product on principle.

In general, products which have a big red statement on them which is, deep down, a bit pointless. For example:

"New improved recipe" or "Better taste than ever" -- that doesn't really tell you anything. Who says it tastes 'better'?

Or: "With extra [whateverol]" -- what on Earth is 'whateverol'*, why is it supposed to be good, and don't other products have enough but without advertising for it? ("With extra trave elements" - isn't it the nature of trace elements that you don't actually need that many?)

* No no, that one I made up