h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Xanatic,

I must say : you seem like a very nice person. I've seen your postings here and there, and there is nothing that was upsetting or alien or whatever. - except maybe for the physics, but heck, you'll have to learn to live with it! I did, anyway...-
You also don't seem shy, but that might be the electronics' way of communicating.

Anyway, what I wanted to say : I've felt like that for years, being not totally unattractive, not stupid, not totally devoid of a sense of humour or any good taste whatsoever (although it depends all very much on who you might ask to confirm this!). People kept telling me to 'be open for new chances' and 'not to look so hard' etc. etc. My mum even suggested, although quite reluctantly, that 'maybe you should look for a girl, not a boy...' ( this is not a joke!)
I was a total mess after some years. I considered myself ugly, not worthy, abnormal, even alien.
And then all of a sudden I find myself falling in love with some one I have known for years, but I'd never realised! 'It's true!', I thought, 'It CAN happen!'

... I don't know if this even helps a little bit, but it's meant to cheer you up, dear...

don't give up!


h³

Thats a good point that I have forgotten. Sometimes the one you are looking for is right under your nose. Also, its a good idea to network. If you have a friend of the opposite sex, chances are she has friends, and they have friends, so there is definitely plenty of opportunity.

What about girls with small hands to make things look bigger?

What about girls with small hands to make things look bigger?

That is just yucky But I have big hands, maybe that means I should go for big-breasted girls then

Someone on here suggested that I start conversations like the ones on here. But it is doing that that make people look at me as an alien. That I talk about other things than who was most drunk saturday or who fancies who, or if it gets extreme what was on TV last night. Which is what I loved about philosophy class, you could have strange discussions and it was just part of the lesson Also when I make a joke something must be wrong with the way I do it, people always think I´m serious. So they think "Does the guy really think elephants can fly?" or whatever the joke is about.

But I don´t want to turn this into some sort of Agony Aunt for Xanatic. I just want to hear what you think a guy should act like, so I could try that. Or how to fall in love with someone.

right! There you have it!.. Maybe it's you who didn't ever really fall in love before? And I don't think anyone can tell you how to do that!.. The worst thing you can do is just make yourself believe you're in love with someone, while it isn't true. Believe me, people really CAN do that to themselves : the human imagination is one of the most powerfull things that exist!

How you should or shouldn't behave is something nobody can really help you with either, I'm afraid. There's no such thing as a general turn-on or turn-off... But, you know, I think when you're really in love, you can't do anything wrong! A friend of mine was 24 years old before he ever really fell in love. But then it HIT him so hard, he started doing silly things like bring old-fashioned serenades to the girl, yes : under her bedroom window... How silly and stereotype can you get, huh? He brought her flowers and breakfast, he took her for walks and gave her silly little presents (balloons etc.). And it worked!
okay, so maybe for some girls it just wouldn't work at all, that's true. But what have you got to lose?? (except maybe for your reputation as a serious person, of course, if you might have that

As far as I know, a lot of girls DO like to be flattered, although they might not show it...

Actually that is probably my biggest problem, that I don´t see me ever falling in love. I have never even met a girl I wanted to ask out. But even if I can´t do that, it would still be nice to have others loving me

Maybe one of the problems is that you don't see yourself falling in love so you may seem a bit closed off from it. Its then very likely that there are others out there that do love you, but won't let you know for fear of rejection. I know I never told a guy how I felt until I was sure he felt in a similar way.

Actually with reading your conversations, I'd be very surprised if you don't have a few someones out there yearning for you.

Well, there is 176645 for a start, and me, but we are both the wrong end of the timezone. (And I am too into new age stuff like tree-hugging ). But then again, I have a friend who is younger than me who likes guys younger than she is and I have been meaning to suggest she reads the posts and books a ticket...

If you have not seem someone you want to ask out, then how many people do you see that you actually fancy?

an agony aunt called Ben

Learn by heart the following:

"O, she doth teach the torches to burn bright!
It seems she hangs upon the cheek of night,
as a jewel in an ethiope's ear.
Beauty too rich for use; for earth to dear.
So shows a snowy dove trooping with crows
as yonder lady over her fellows shows.
The measure done, I'll watch her place of stand,
And taking hers in mine maked blessed my rude hand.
Did my heart love till now? forswear it sight!
For never did I see true beauty till this night!"

And pray I remembered it correctly. Continue with :

"If I profane this holiest shrine with my rude hand
the gentle fine is this:
My lips, two blushing pilgrims stand
to smooth that rough touch with a kiss."

And kiss her hand. Girls love that. If you want to be really bold, take her hand, turn it over and kiss the inside of her wrist.

Combine this with the excellent advice above and you should have little trouble with the ladies.

Far too flowery. Turns me right off.

Have you tried some nice friendly pubs ?

Corinth: that would be way too much for me to learn by heart. How about a simple "Roses are red..."

Hmm, so I´ve got to gals here who are interested. That´s nice. I don´t know about Miss 176645, but I did go to check agcB to see if she lived anywhere near me as well

As for fancying, I have been attracted to women physically. It´s just mentally I haven´t really felt anything. I´m at the moment trying to go to Dublin. I suppose in a place with more people I will have better chances.

Well, There´s no pubs around here. It´s a small place so there´s really only two places to spend the evening. One is for dancing, the other for drinking. Since I do neither I haven´t got much to do at those places.

Whatever else you do, Xanatic, do not pretend to be normal when you are obviously not. (A good thing... all, bear in mind that I only use 'normal' as a negative term, like 'stupefyingly dull'.) I soon gave up pretending to be normal, because it was not worth it. The Guide proves that there are innormal people around (or you wouldn't have these sorts of conversations)... it's probable you'll discover a pocket of interest soon, possibly in a more populated area.
Until then, you have online support.
(assembles Network of Spies to find out where all the weirdos are)

Xanatic, that is one of the nicest things any one has said about me for ages.

***B

Hehe, well you´re welcome. And at least you´re in Scandinavia like me

Whoops ! I unsubscribed by mistake. Hope this gets me back in again. Don't want to miss anything!

Hmm, I'm trying to decide whether it's time to start arousing ire again...

Try us.

Beieve me I want the same thing as you Corinth, but to get a straight answer to your question, I think it would take deep thought another 10 million years or so.