A Conversation for Miscellaneous Chat

Tell Us A Joke

Post 121

Clelba

that's just weird.
^. .^
= ' =
smiley - angelsmiley - choc
smiley - blackcatsmiley - cat


Tell Us A Joke

Post 122

You can call me TC

tigerlilly has mitigating circumstances


Tell Us A Joke

Post 123

Rainbow

Yup, she forgot to have a 'headache' one night and now look what's happened!!


Tell Us A Joke

Post 124

Clelba

now i'm confused...
^. .^
= ' =
smiley - angelsmiley - choc
smiley - blackcatsmiley - cat


Tell Us A Joke

Post 125

You can call me TC


Well, you see....... *rummages around for thread*

Sorry, can't find it. TigerLilly is having a baby, to put it simply


Tell Us A Joke

Post 126

Clelba

Oh. That's nice. And i do mean that, I'm not being sarcastic, it's just that "that's nice" can sound a bit like I don't care really, only I do.
^. .^
= ' =
smiley - angelsmiley - choc
smiley - blackcatsmiley - cat


Tell Us A Joke

Post 127

Xanatic(phenomena phreak)

Yeah, but it has been a while since we´ve been updated on the baby or I´ve seen Tigerlily around. Does anybody know what´s happening to her? As far as I remember there should still be three months left.


Tell Us A Joke

Post 128

You can call me TC


Can you locate the thread?


Tell Us A Joke

Post 129

Monsignore Pizzafunghi Bosselese


Four Catholic ladies were having coffee. The first Catholic woman tells her friends, "My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father.'"
The second Catholic woman chimes in, "My son is a bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, the people call him 'Your Grace.'"
This third Catholic crone says, "My son is a cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, people say 'Your Eminence.'"
Since the fourth Catholic woman sips her coffee in silence, the first three women give her this subtle, "Well...?" To which she smugly replies, "My son is a gorgeous, 6' 2", hard bodied stripper. When he walks into a room, people say, 'Oh my God....'"


Tell Us A Joke

Post 130

TIGERLILY

I'm back!!! And I'm fine - thank you for asking!!!
smiley - kiss
-x-x-x-x-

Little Tim was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbour peered over the fence.
Interested in what the boy was doing, he asked "What are you up to there, Tim?"
"My goldfish died" replied Tim tearfully "and i've just buried him"
The neighbour frowned. "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"
Tim patted down the last heap of earth. "Thats because he's inside your f---ing cat!"

smiley - cat & smiley - fish


Tell Us A Joke

Post 131

Clelba

I like that one. hehe.
merry christmas smiley - xmastree
^. .^
= ' =
smiley - angelsmiley - choc
smiley - blackcatsmiley - cat


Tell Us A Joke

Post 132

Arthu Rphili Pdent

why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?



he was stapled to the first monkey.
Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?


Peer pressure


Tell Us A Joke

Post 133

TIGERLILY

A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
"Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time."
"You foul-mouthed swine, " retorted the lady idignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin'my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."


Try this one then

Post 134

Livzy

Two budgies sitting on their perch, one turns to the other and says

"Whats that fishy smell?"


Try this one then

Post 135

You can call me TC

smiley - groan


Try this one then

Post 136

Clelba

heh.
^. .^
= ' =
smiley - angelsmiley - choc
smiley - blackcatsmiley - cat


Tell Us A Joke

Post 137

Zorpheus - I'm so hip I have difficulty seeing over my pelvis.

One day, a couple moved into a new home and were trying to fix it up. The floors in the living room were chipped and scratched, the light in the bathroom wasn't working, the dishwasher didn't want to turn on, and the ceiling fan in the den only had two of the four blades it was supposed to have.

The wife asked her husband, "Honey, can you fix the floors for me?"

The man replied, "What do I look like, a carpenter?" At that, he left to go to the bar with his friends.

The next day, after showering in the dark, the wife asked, "Honey, can you fix the light in the bathroom?"

The man replied, "What do I look like, an electrician?" Again, he left the house to go to the bar.

The wife was so distraught at her husband's reaction that she sat on the front porch weeping. Her new young, single neighbor saw her crying and approached her. "Why are you crying, ma'am?"

The wife replied, "My husband won't fix the floors or the light in the bathroom, and I don't think he'll help me fix anything in this house!"

The neighbor replied, "Well, not to worry -- I'll help you fix up this house. I only ask for either a slice of pie or an afternoon of sex with you in return."

Later that day, her husband returned to the house. He was surprised to see that both the floors and the light were now perfect, and on top of that, the dishwasher was humming away, and the ceiling fan in the den had been replaced.

When he asked her about all the repairs, the wife responded, "Well, our nice neighbor came over and fixed everything for me. He asked only that I either gave him a slice of pie or had sex with him in return for his kind deed."

Her husband, curious, asked, "So what kind of pie did you make for him?"

To which the woman responded, "What do I look like, Betty Crocker?"


Tell Us A Joke

Post 138

Clelba

Hehe. I feel like my only position in this forum is to laugh. so i'll do it again. hehe.
^. .^
= ' =
smiley - angelsmiley - choc
smiley - blackcatsmiley - cat


Removed

Post 139

Zorpheus - I'm so hip I have difficulty seeing over my pelvis.

This post has been removed.


Tell Us A Joke

Post 140

Niz (soon to be gone)

Two Scousers are fishing in South Africa and one of them, Terry, notices a crocodile with a mans head in its mouth. " Wow, Look at that Barry " shouts Terry. "yeah I know" replies Barry " The flash b*****d has a lacoste sleeping bag"


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