h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

That is if she has a sister - but you can always say her mother was rather great - should do the trick

But I thought her mother WAS a good....



Bassers

OH, YES SHE WAS!
How did you find the daughter and her sister?
Best separately, wot?

I knew a guy IRL that told me he had a girl and her GRANDMOTHER....



Bassman. Have a Yule

Chap I once knew boasted of pulling a woman and after the dirty deed glanced at her bedside cabinet and saw a photo of someone he vaguely recognised. Upon enquiring who it was, his conquest responded - "oh that's my son, you might know him - he's Billy Beaumont"

RD

I Say....



Bassers - Season's greetings.

To fancy!(walks away)

I say Ravers old boy, you're new round here aren't you. Need a fourth man for the Bridge team, fancy a rubber or two? Good chap.

Being as you're nearer the bar than the rest of us - it must be your round! Well volunteered, I'll have a MacLurcher....

WHAT'LL THE REST OF YOU CHAPS HAVE? IT'S RAVERS ROUND....



Bassers.

That magic phrase!

Suppose I`d better get `em in then.

McLurchers all round is it ?

Um,it's Raven..
And what are you talking about?

(someon throws a can)Ouuuccchhhh!!(whimpers)

Look Ravers....

We're all "CHAPS" here. Ex military types and the like.... Toffs dontyerknow.

Red Dog is always referred to as "Redders"

I am - in my "Chaps Club" persona

Squabbling Bleeder Bassman (Retired. D.F.C. N.F.I. and Bar Knife, Fork, Spoon)

Otherwise known as "Bassers"

When Pollidari Wormwood makes an appearance, he's "Pollers"....

Need I go on?

If you can't have a jolly "CHAP" type name, I'll have to call on all the other "Chaps" and get you de-bagged and thrown out onto the lawn, where Hogg will run you over with his sit on mower.

It's your round old boy, I suggest you get them in poste-haste.... You wouldn't like Redders with a raging thirst!



Bassers.

Um,Okay....

(whimpers)

Good Lord, stop whimpering man and get this down you !

*hands Ravers a pint of Bowel Clencher and a handsome measure of the finest MacLurchers *

Don't tell the other Chaps about this - I haven't bought a round in the Club since '53 and that only because that dreadful old bore Lurchington-Stanley threatened to set me on fire

If you're thinking of joining us then toddle off to A685983 and leave us a brief bio would you - your entry from Debretts or Who's Who should suffice. Don't worry about the old credentials - we haven't Blackballed anyone for years and if we let Inkers in we'd let anyone in.

*guffaws loudly*

um, I don't think I would fit in with the rest of the crowd.
Besides, I can't talk chap...

*jaw drops in stunned amazement*
Can't talk chap? Is there any other dignified, civilised language?!
*dozes off again*

Nonsense old boy, its childs play wot. While you are up, I could do with a Sloe Gin. Developed quite a thirst for it over the festivities wot.

I say !

A slow gin?
I'd prefer a quick Scotch, thank you!
Single Malt if it's available?

I say Chaps.... looks like Ravers is begging to be de-bagged. I think we should run them up the flag pole by the 18th. What Ho....



Bassers.

Scared orf, I shouldn`t wonder. Didn`t sound as if he knew wot was wot. Can`t imagine why.....friendly enough, us, I would have thought.
What`s a debagging amongst friends?