h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Makes Dr M's a double*

Put it on my tab, Charlie, there's a good chap.

What d'you mean pay? A fellow of my stature doesn't carry cash - filthy stuff ...

Who else wants what?

Ahhh there's a good fellow ..... make mine a double , with a pink gin chaser and a Malibu and Ginger Ale cocktail

I say, Ekkers - dashed goodly of you!
A tall glass of Jamaican Rum and a bit o' soda, thank you!

If you lived in South Africa, we'd have stuck an 'L' in front of your name and made you an even better chap!



PS: 'Lekker' is a Afrikaans term meaning 'very good', 'excellent' or better and is used to describe delectable items in life.
If you can't r-r-r-r-roll your r-r-r's, then you can also say 'leckah'.
Just in case you fellows are popping over to watch the ICC World Cup....

None of those shorts or cocktails for me old chap - they're for limp wrists and fillies!

Huuurrruuummmppphhh

I'll have a pint of the landlords best Mutton Masher, but if it's orff, I'll slum it with a Bowel Clencher.

Pip Pip!



Bassman

That's a bucket of Bowel Clencher for Bassers - sorry, old bean, Muttons orf ...

A Rumnsoda fer Wrinkers and a Pink Gin n' Malibu'nGinger chaser for Redders.

Now where's that popsy got to ...

*appears from another thread*

Since I've outhold it for far too long, I really should think about introducing myself and seeing if I can't get on the roster here, what?


*smiles warmly*

Bally Good Show Njanners, old sport ... spiffing news on all counts 'bout the popsy ... sorry to see another good man down but she, the enemy, is nothing if not persistent.

I remember Jerry in '42. Thought he had us. Under the kosh all day and all night, figured he had us taped. Didn't bargain on the women folk did 'e?

Oh No!

They had nothing morally against what was happening, just the bally awful mess it left the place in ... "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" I believe some blighter once wrote and he wasn't far orf I tell ya.

Still, anyway, enough chit-chat ... what's yer poison ... Charlie fix Njanners with whatever he wants and one fer yerself while yer there old man ...

Bottoms up and all that ... what-ho

Oh - jolly nice of you to offer, dear fellow - make it a white russian, what.. seems like a reasonable time in the afternoon for it to be cocktail time already. *njan reclines on a suitably old armchair*

Yes, it is a bit of a shame, shot down in my prime. Reminds me of the time I did a spot of flying myself. We were carrying a very important passenger, you see, and he.. no, or.. perhaps I was the important passenger. Yes, that's it. We were flying, and I was the important pass.. perhaps I was both.. *at this point, njan's cocktail arrives and he contents himself to sip it, forgetting his anecdote mid-narrative*

*nods in concord with an imaginary tale as if it displayed a unilateral point of the metaphysic of morals*

yes, well.. *sips some more*

Wot?
Couldn't agree more, ol' boy!
Whooze organising fillies for V-day, eh?
Woooahr - Rather!

In my army days the only thing we'd chase in a skirt was the bally 51st Highland Division. Dreadful bounders the lot of them.

Jolly good whiskey in the Sergeants mess though what

*gafffawws*

I remember doing a spot of that myself once, old chap. Surprised a bally group of 'em with a gun, what. .. we were chasing the blighters down and I got lost. Ended up with their commander and his entourage of two, caught whilst making tea. I captured the tea, too - of course had to test it to make sure it was tea.

Good party in the naf after that, as I remember.. *chortles*

(true story )

I say, thew Black Watch have gorn down hill somewhat, wot? Being caught with their sporrans down making tea. They'll neve rlive that down I'm sure.

I say, did you hear about Carruthers?
You must remember Carruthers? Burma - '42?
Well, seem he was caught recently having relations with his horse!
It was a mare, of course - ther's nothing qu**r about Carruthers!

That reminds me, I need a riding crop for that filly over at the Admiralty who likes a bit of a slap with her tickle...
Can she tickle tackle...(Guffaw)!

*Walks in, makes as if to say something, and overhears the discussion. And reels. Attempting to clear his head of profound nostalgia, he staggers outside and slumps into a bench, breaths for a second, and stumbles off.*

Hmm, how odd. Could have at least bought a round, the bounder.

What's a chap to do if his muckers won't even stump up for a pint of Festering Bowel Shatterer ...

Wouldna happened in my day ... return home from 10 rounds giving Jerry what for, a bit of how's yer father with the Inn Keepers daughter and a pint of Old Reliable to calm the gut before another couple of rounds with Jerry ... you could have flak in the seat of yer best suit and an unwaxed moustache but a Pint of Old Reliable soon put that to the back of yer mind ...

I say ! Gord I do believe the pink gin and and the Malibu and Ginger Ale cocktail are reacting violently with each other.

Take cover everyone INCOMING .... no sorry OUTGOING

I say, a bit more warning wouldn`t go amiss, Redders old chap...the old hearin` not bein` wot it was, wot!

Nothin` wrong with the sense of smell though..d`yer think you perhaps should have a word with the MO... erm...no offense of course, dear fellow!!

Do we have a Nurse on hand ..... or Unkkers Nanny would do admirably if not. Sorry

No real lasting damage done, I hope...might have to ease back on the brandy sniffin` though,...olfactory nerves shot to hell!