h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Did see a chap take offence once, but then he had been black balled as well. *Guffaw!*

Black balled? De-bagged? Is someone wandering 'round with a dysfunctional castration device?
*guffaw*

I say Bassers, rumour has it that you're trying to recruit female chaps? Are you trying to be PC, old boy, or have you more base intentions, eh? Dashitallman! We won't be able to undo our beltbuckles after luncheon if there's women about - there's this newfangled sexual harassment thingimeebob nonsense about these days, you know!

I must write to the Times about it - can't even put yer hand on a filly's rear end without having a damned solicitor about to defend you in court! There was some football club chairman bloke that got into trouble down in Cape Town recently about that...

I say, talking about the Cape, any KWV 10-year old brandy available? I'd fancy a snifter right about now, eh?

Don't care if there are fillies about, after a damn fine luncheon it is imperative my belt is undone. At the very least. And if the filly should get a glance at the family jewels, well, then that's her look out. She should count herself fortunate and just try not to swoon. Most undignified...

Must apologise whole-heartedly chaps, I must have been suffering from a bout of temporary dementure - fancy inviting a fillie into the bastion that is The Chap's Club.

S'ppose I'll have to get my man to beat me with a hefty birch twig now, either that or get a round in....



Bassers.

Methinks I might enjoy one more than the other....



Bassers

Didn't know you enjoyed a bit of discipline, eh, Bassers?

I quite agree with keeping the last vestige of male privacy for us chaps!
Next thing they'll be wanting us to paint the library pink or peuce or purple or something... that's the proper colour for bras 'n nickers and such, not the Officers Mess!


*harrummph*




Wrinklers

Going to the bar are we? Can't distract me with all this filly talk, I'll have a McLurchers, large, thanks.

You can't paint the walls with lace can you. There again - if there's "Questionable" characters like that Lawrence LLewelyn - whatever going about, I'm sure they could be painted sky blue pink!!

Hhhuuurrruuummmppphhh

Whatever happened to Wedgewood Blue's what I say....



Bassers

Wedgewood Blues ! Wedgewood Blues ? Isn't that some sort of Butterfly old boy !

I do recall that there's a Filly lying face down in the anteroom. Been there for a considerable length of time by all accounts. Maybe she's still there what !

Make mine a large MacLurchers would you anyone.

Lying face down you say, Redders?
Must have fainted then. When women faint, they generally fall face down.
Something to do with centre of gravity, or some such technical gobbledegook. Best go and check ske`s still, erm, breathing, what.

This could take some time....

Give us shout if she needs her clothing loosened, ol boy! I'm rather good at undoing the tight things, wot!

Well Old Boy do feel free to have a go at that pristine bottle of 30 yr MacLurchers behind th ebar ..... would you believe I'm again what !

And while you're there - mine's a stiff one.

And I'll have a drink too while you're up...

Gaffffffauwwwwww!

30 year old?!?! By Jove, I'll have some of that. Oh, and a quick G and T to clean the palate first if you would, want to fully appreciate this.

Filly.... In the Ante-room, I thought that was the new bike rack. If you manage to get any sense out of her, extend my apologies for sticking m' front wheel where the sun don't shine.... What What.



Bassers

No need, old chap....

Damned if she doesn`t seem to like it !!

Best let sleepin` dogs lie, if you catch me drift!

Couldn't agree with you more old boy - mind you I think the all terrain tyres on Wrinklers bike might be playing a part

Hurrrruuuummmmpppphhhh....



Bassers

Now with bumps for added sensual pleasure...

Bassers, ol' Man!

*Guffaw!!!!* *Cough* *Cough*
Dash it all, gone and inhaled me McLurchers, wot!