h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

[YK] Well, yeah, but you know how they were always pulling stunts like this in Star Trek.

[YC is identical to YK except that he has a ponytail]

[YC] Although I'll admit that this is getting a bit extreme.

[YQ is identical to YK except that he has white hair]

[YQ] And Mew has headed toward the planet Beyond.

[Link is the hero in "The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Masque"]

[Link] Do you think you could help us track him down?

[Nerfal is a Whiphid]

[Nerfal] And are you wondering how YK got three clones, a Whiphid bounty hunter, and the Hero of Time to follow him around?

Yes..it did strike me as odd...
Especially Link... How did you find Hyrule??!! I've been searching for that place for ages (for whatever reason...)!

You'ld like me to help you track Mew down? Oh yeah!! I've a bone (no, seriously) to pick with him! That's my GalArmy Carrier transport he's got!

*looks around in his spacious cokpit...*

Erm...OK then...I'll come along if that's OK...

*Settles his Star Ship along the same trajectory as the 'slightly' larger ship which was attacked by Mew...*

Well, I can't remember exactly what happened. the ship appeared, and several pink bubbles left it (the bubbles were not unlike those that Mew frequently uses). Other than that, I couldn't see anything from the tiny window I was at.

*Affy pilots the CLI Mini-UFO back to the Esirpretne-Z*

*Makes notes on the occurance...*

Thankyou Affy!

Hmmm....I'm having the Computer back at the 'station work out exactly what my probes have analysed...ought to come up with something at some stage...

Oh...I've just had a message from the real me...He/I have had to close down the Secondary Labs! Why...?
Oh, hell, they were mucking around, or trying at least, in the system...
Well...I thank goodness I'm not over there in that mess...

Ummm, engeneering here,
please slow down.
no no, realy.
i mean it.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
WE WENT PLAID!!!!!!

Oh dear...

Our mission here?

*Puffs up chest*

To boldly save galaxies wherever they need saving. Or something like that, anyway. Seems this galaxy needed saving. We suspect a plot by the rock-buns and we have high hopes for some algae to play a key role in the galaxy saving. Course, now we have a rampant Mew on our hands too.

Oh yes. We are currently heading to the planet "Beyond".

[YK] Well, you see, YC got into an argument with Y2K. YC teamed up with me, and we went to get a bounty hunter ...

[Nerfal] That would be me.

[YK] ... from the planet Toola and tracked Y2K to the planet Hylia, in the Gerdeus system. Link teamed up with us, after proving that the Prime Directive in Star Trek no longer applied to him ...

[Link] By exactly giving the specifics of the Millenium Bug, YC's starship.

[YK] ... and single-handedly defeated Y2K.

[YC] Using the Master Sword, seven extra years of age, and the Triforce of Courage.

Ooooohhhh...

*whistles, clearly impressed...*

Like it! Both your tales!
So we're heading for Beyond eh?
Is that what we call it on Earth, or what the inhabitants of it call it? Or did you get the name from some records? If so which ones? I'm sure I can get the coords if you don't have them...

finding the planet Beyond is easy.........just look for the next planet....preferably before the one before Beyond Beyond..............

[YK] We found directions to Beyond on a sign next to another one that said, "Infinity welcomes careful drivers".

And if you want a *really* strange story, you might enjoy reading...

*Thinks for a moment*

No, you wouldn't really enjoy it. However, this works: I *DARE* you to read *all* of the backlog from the first season.

Ah. Erm, well, I don't know really...quite a task...
No, can't...left my mind-implant device at the 'station, which could read it all for me, and just pop it in my ind...

I really oughtn't read it...
All i do know, from word of mouth, is that you did something to do with some Horrible Somethings, or something...

[YK] We finished 'em off.

Ah good! My commendations!

Nasty lot I heard...Horrible!

...Or did we????

I'm pretty sure we did.......barely got off their ship before it went KABOOOOOOOM!

Shh, shh, people. I want to listen to the music!
I *like* evil tunes!

*Pops a CD into a stereo. The theme to Return To Zork begins playing*

How's that?

[The planet Beyond has a huge artificial "ring" around it, connected to the planet by ten thousand mile "pillars". If you want a better description of this, read "3001: The Final Odyssey" by Arthur C. Clarke.]