h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Presses the even more hi-tech looking rubber buttons, and pilots the ship out of spacedock.*

Captain, its time for you to say your memorable quote, ie
"May the wind be on our backs"
"Second star to the left and straight on 'til morning"
"And all I ask is a tall ship, and a star to steer her by" etc...

*Checkout reluctantly hands over the security rail and decides instead on a nice shower rail...*
Hey! En Suite!

*has a feeling of being lost*
Sooo where was it we're going again?

Well, frankly, Alien, I don't know. But I'm sure Mr Bluebottle does, and that's all that matters right now

So, an inspiring quote, eh?

*ahem*

"A wise man goes to the toilet when he can. A foolish man goes when he has to."

*whispering noises*

What? Oh, okay. "Cats are people too. They're just very stupid people."

*more whispering*

Oh OKAY. Gee whiz. "I know not what course others may take, but as for me, give me liberty or give me death!"

Better?

[YK] So are we ready to go yet?

[Link] No, I have to convince YC to come out of the Millenium Bug.

[Nerfal] What's with YC?

[YK] He thinks it's too comfy here.

Look, if we don't find a serious plot soon, I'm going to 'accidently' release nanites into the ship's computer. Would that be an okay episode?

Just make sure they don't adjust the temperature controls in the shower again....

Anyway, as this is season II we first have to work out which major character has died, which has left only to re-appear in season III, and which character is going to have a bigger role.

Hmm... where shall we go? Good question. I didn't think I had that much choice of destination since that wormhole opened up in front of us and is dragging us in.

[Enter YC]

[YC] I think a plot found us.

Er, has anyone seen my on-screen romance? All I could find was a message padd sayting "Gone to infiltrate a stolen starship, see you in three weeks, Wendy".

[Nerfal] She's gone to infiltrate a stolen starship and will see you in three weeks.

Keptin! the ship will tear apart if we try to break free, she hasn't even been on a shakedown cruise... I say we let that wormhole pull us in...
I also suggest we redocorate the Bridge's en suite bathroom... I ask you? Mauve? on a doughnut federation wessel?

And I think Wendy's gone on a mission to infiltrate a stolen ship and will see you in two weeks... I hope she packed enough red shirted ensigns...

Captain - a message buoy is also trapped in the wormhole's event horizon, but it is still able to broadcast. I can ....just.... decode the transmission.
It says "Wendy has gone on a mission to infiltrate a stolen starship, and will see us again in a couple of weeks".

Well, you learn something new every day.

Hmm..interesting...you know...that message sounds vaguely familiar...as if...i've heard it before..somewhere....don't know where though...

Any idea where the wormhole will take us BB? Or are we going to be pulled through & lost on the other side....which also sounds vaguely familiar...

...and has Croz got all of his memories back in this season?

Yes, it is a familiar message - funny how she started off going for three weeks and is now off for 2.

But no, I've no idea where this wormhole is taking us, and yes - I'm sure Croz has all his memories back - just like Uhura did the week after the alien probe erased her mind for being imperfect.

I doubt that we'll end up on the other end of the Galaxy - it's probably just an inter-glactic speed camera or something...

It must be an updating message...

Or it likes playing "Chinese Whispers"...

...and...if it's an intergalatic speed camera...shouldn't we go fast so we can show off the Esirpretne-Z's new, sooper-dooper speed for the camera...I'm sure it'll be impressed...

Okay then - full speed.
Hang on to your beard!
Oh, and say "Engage" or "Execute" or "I now pronounce you man and wife" or something...

*does a remarkable impreesion of Al*

"Engage!"

*The ship suddenly warps into full speed - past the speed camera, but sadly a police ship appears to be trailing us....*

Well, chances are we're gonna be fugatives from the law for the rest of this episode.
Has that algae from the last thread saved anyone's life yet?

[Nerfal] I don't think so. [cough]

*Holds up the test tube*

No, but I've got it here, just in case. Now, did anyone see another test tube anywhere? It had a rare virus on it, but I accidently dropped it somewhere around here. Hope it didn't break...