h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Engage.

[YK] Don't you mean ; - ) instead of ; )?

Missiles firing!

*emerges from the cargo bay & wonders if alcohol has severely detrimental effects on your sight....*


Are those missiles........? Or is one going to suddenly turn into a bunch of petunia's and the other into a short-lived blue whale?

*swoosh*

*teleports in completely catching everyone by surprise*

Hey guys...remember me...?

I'm the assisstant engineer who took an excruciatingly long leave of absence...will you forgive me? Will you have me back?

*The ship warps through the galaxy at high speed, not even stopping at red lights (as in Red traffic lights, not red light districts - although we are equally not stopping at both).*

Are we there yet?

*As the Esirpretne speeds through a red light, it narrowly misses being hit by an 18-point transport starship. A space-suited arm is thrust out the window of the starship and makes a rude sign at the Esirpretne.*

Are we there yet?

"Infinity and Beyond" is kind of a vague destination, you know...
ow far beyond do we have to be to be "Beyond", and how far is it before we reach "beyond Beyond"???

Are we th--

*ducks to avoid the stuff thrown at him by the rest of the crew*

*finishes reading about anti-galaxy bombs*

This looks very bad people. The bomb doesn't destroy galaxies as such, it emits a small amount of some theoretical thing called anti-energy. As soon as this comes in contact with normal energy the two cancel each other out and produce matter. In essence, the whole universe will turn inside out.

A little anti-matter with the same mass (or anti-mass) as the galaxy in question would destroy it completely. Now where did I see some...

That is just *slightly* worrying!
Where are these Rock-Buns now? Or are we just going to <> on them when we reach Infinity and Beyond?

>

OK ignore me...but I'll not go away...

*Suddenly, Afgncaap5 pops into place standing right next to the Captain's Chair*

No, Pan, I'm not convinced that you're sending me three weeks to the future, okay? It's not even an interesting plot point, for cryin'...

*Is getting strange looks from the crewmembers. Affy notices a few newer faces. After seeing that there are, in fact, more crew members, and that he is, in fact, three weeks in the future of the time when he mysteriously vanished and no one cared to notice, Affy grimaces*

Well, I'll be. Pan actually *did* send me three weeks to the future!

*Reads the backlog, taking the time to greet Mandarb. Turns on the ship's PA system*


All science officers, and people who's job is related to the scientific advancement of this ship/federation, please report to Afgncaap5's quarters.


*Affy walks to his quarters, ready to give all of the science-type people a goal that he's set for the season-to figure out just what kind of algae it is that he scraped from the pool in Risa*

*Reading about anti-galaxy bombs*
Hmm... turning the Universe inside out. I could do with a small one of them by my washing machine. I hate turning everything inside out only to have to turn it outside out again at the end for me to wear.
One of them'll save a lot of problems - we should go into marketing.

Sick of turning clothes inside out? Then try anti-galaxy bombs. New from CraterLabs Inc.

*A tiny sign can be seen in the distance. Slowly it grows bigger until it can be read:

WELCOME TO INFINITY,
THE GALAXY OF CHOICE FOR DISCERNING ENTITIES.

VISITORS PLEASE CHECK IN AT THE CUSTOMS STATION
ON THE PLANET "BEYOND", 5TH PLANET FROM THE
3RD SUN ON THE LEFT.

*groans*

More Customs?

How're we gonna explain all this booze? In this galaxy, it might be illegal to have this much or something...