h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

[YK] Ah. Better.

Can I volunteer for the away team? After all, it's in my job description!

>

[The viewscreen of the Esirpretne crackles to life with an image of a Mew somewhere. There are four other Mews cavorting in the background]

[First Mew] }Crew of the -- { [to the others] }Will you stop that!?{

[Second Mew] }Sorry.{

[Third Mew] }But that was so easy!{

[Fourth Mew] }Ssh!{

[Fifth Mew] }The crystal we . . . {

[First Mew] }Crew of the Esirpretne, I reccommend you get away from the planet as soon as you've rescued your captain.{

*The image was also relayed to the Smallcy, where Pr. C. Tonks is still tottering around in his chunky HEV...*

Mew!! I'm going to kill you, and your little pet cats too!
If you don't tell me why you nicked my Carrier, I will alert San Beta to the incident, and a GalArmy division will be sent here ASAP!

And I'm a not leaving this system...if anything happens, I'll initiate the CompreMatter Barrier [Article: A432460, 4.1.6. ] over all of us!

*Decides it's about time to give up the HEV, and put his trademark green-jacket-with-the-many-empty-pockets back on...*

As soon as we've rescued the Captain?

But I'm the Captain. I don't need rescuing.

Affy, on the other hand...

Okay, get to the transporter room, everyone who wants to come.

I'm coming...
I'll meet you down on the panet, infront of the Museum...


*He sends the Smallcy in another steep dive towards the Planet Beyond, and lands it smoothly infront of the Museum...*

*He gets out...he sees the Museum Entrance, and its sign...*

Argh! Yes...must see...must see now! "The Classic Text Adventures Of Our Galaxy!" Must see and read....me interested....
No! Watch....assume...must see!..assume full ment....argh, Adventures!...full mental control immediatly!!

{Beep. Assuming Full Mental Control over subject Pr. C. Tonks. Recieving orders...wait for other subjects...beep...}

Sounds like my telepathetic powers and counselling skills will be needed. Count me in, skip.

I'll come too! I'm sure they'll be some need for people to volunteer for stupidly dangerous things! There usually is!

>

[YK] Me, too!

[YC] Me, three!

[YQ] Me, four!

[Link] Me ten!

[Nerfal] Me Nerfal!

*Meanwhile, Pr. C. Tonks has had a walk around the outside of the Museum, under Watch's control.*

Hmmm...looks brand new...odd, seeing as text adventures are rather popular, and have been for a while...

This tourist trap is one of the more compelling ones...even got *me* interested!

*Climbs back into the Smallcy for a quick cup of tea before the others get here...*

[First Mew] }I meant you'd better get away from the planet AND the Galaxy AND other peoples' business! Besides which, the planet's going to explode!{

[Third Mew] }Do you REALLY think they'll fall for that?{

This means that no, the planet will not explode.

[First Mew] }SHUT UP! THEY CAN HEAR!!{

*Gets ready to pilot the ship away from the planet at such a rediculous speed that someone can say "She cannae ta'e much more o' this, captin"*

No! BB, don't leave without Affy! I'm not going in that museum alone...even though I could of course, but still...

I'm not leaving yet... I'm just getting ready to. So that as soon as everyone's aboard I can zoom off - ala "Star Trek V: The Final Frontier".

Chief medical officer reporting for away mission. Besides, on our wages we could probably resist any tourist traps because we don't have any.

Oh yeah, the credit card bill just arrived. We've exceeded our credit limit 100 times over on booze.

Ah, well that's alright then...
Of course, you could stop off at the Space Station on the way, maybe have cuppa or two...

[YQ] I think I heard that other Mew say we weren't stupid enough to fall for it. I think the planet's not going to explode.

We'd better ask someone who knows about these things, like the first officer.

Right then...

*looks around at everyone who volunteered for the away mission...looks incredibly relieved when she see's at least 2 red-shirted extras....*

OK, everyone who's coming down to the plant, transporter room 42 in..erm.....however long the turbolifts take..

We'll rescue Affy, Captain.....whether we lose all the red shirted extra's or not!

*ponders:*
Finally, they're getting down here! I'm getting bored drinking tea by myself...