h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Affy finishes building his one-person fighter. He looks at it. It resembles an blue hourglass, and is armed with several of the weapons that have become famous in forums like these. Affy, sticking to his theme of naming his ships after already copyrighted names, christens his new dogfighter Korfozzle. Affy boards Korfozzle, and launches*

Now, let's see what this baby can do...

*Begins firing snowzars every which way*

* Peet arrives on the bridge covered in Mustard

"The accordian canna' take it!"

[YK] [under breath] Oh, Zarquon!

[YC] [filtered voice-over] Cut the chatter.

[R2-B4 twitters]

[YK] Shut up!

[Mew continues to buzz around and blast at bad guys]

[The Sith Infiltrator does likewise. It gets behind YK's X-Wing, flanked by two starfighters piloted by Black-Suited Extras]

(lurk)

~Suddently, the POE uncloaks on Affy's tail and begins firing~

Masque to STUMPED fleet: That previous order about "No desintigrations? Ignore it.

I sincerely appologize for forgetting to close my quotations. They should have closed after the word 'desintigrations', which I'm sure is spelled incorrectly.

[Dylan] Right. It's spelled with an "I".


[YC] YK! You've got one on your tail!



[A blast from the Sith Infiltrator rocks the X-Wing]

[YK] Really? Gee, thanks, I hadn't noticed.

[Y2K] Boy, this is turning out great!

[Y2C] [into comm] Let me handle this guy.



[Black-Shirted Extra] Right.

~A lifepod floats by, carrying BSEs from the Raven. It gets in the POE's line of fire for an instant... and explodes. Red continues to bear down on Affy~

*Affy knows he needs to worry about his problem with Red ASAP. He looks over the new features he added to this ship*

Ah, yes.

*Pushes a button marked "AXIS", and his hourglass shaped fighter turns around while continuing its flight path. Affy pushes another button, and the Korfozzle barges towards the POE, every weapon firing*

Let's see if the POE likes a good old fashioned ram...

A game of chicken, eh? ~Red engages full sheilds to forward, and increases velocity to meet Afgncaap5 head on~

*Affy grins a manic grin. He diverts all the power that was in reserve for the primary interior lighting (there's still a little illumination, though) to his shields and forward thrusters. He shoots a special snowzar blast forward which is moving at such a slow speed that it hits the Korfozzle on a speficif part of the front, creating an ice shield*

[YK carrens toward this game of chicken, the Sith Infiltrator right behind it. YK realizes where he is going and swerves to avoid it]

[Y2K] I have you now!

[Y2C] That's the POE you're aiming at!

[Y2K] WHAT!?

[He pulls up, not fast enough. The Sith Infiltrator crashes into the POE, sending it spinning]

~The POE launches an incendiary missle straight for the cockpit of the Korfozzle. As the missle hurries forward, the Red swerves down. <camera switch to cockpit of Korfozzle, as Affy watches the missle hurry towards him. Suddently it explodes on his nozel, splattering... curry! Curry everywhere! The Ice shield begins to melt, and an aroma fills the cockpit of the Korfozzle, clearing out any problem Affy may have had with his sinuses~

Ha! Curried Chicken!

*Watches Red's ship spin a short distance away, but not like Darth Vader*

Guess this means that we're still fighting. Meanwhile,...

*Pushes a button, and a group of metatermites emerges from his ship and eats the currey before it can do much more damage. The metatermites then return to their hibernation quarters as Affy shoots Y2K with a powerful snowzar blast*

Drat! Foiled again! Mental note: metatermites like curry.

~Zooms back around to Affy's tail~

*GL, still inside the Mangar, tracks the various foes with the ships weapon, but rarely has a clear shot that wouldn't endanger his own crewmates.*


Affy, if you can isolate Red, I can fire the secret zorkish weapon at him. Over.