h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

[YK flies around, weapons blazing, but realizes that he really ought to leave the POE for GL and/or Affy, so he and the Bug head back to the Mangar]

[Interior: Mangar: Bridge]

[YK enters]

[YK] I sense a disturbance in the Force. The last time I felt it, it was in the presence of Montressor. I think. No, wait, it was right after I had that bean burrito salad. Never mind.

*Affy continues firing every weapon he has onboard. He opens a communications channel with the POE*


Hey, Red? Read any good books lately?

Mew!

*Shoots a banana cream pie at the POE*

~Red speaks into com unit, as weapons are bouncing off of his sheilds~

Last one I finished was "The Return of the King" by JRR Tolkien.

~Just then, a bannana cream pie hits the POE. Unfortunately, Bannana cream is the one weapon that the Mangols didn't take into account when devising the POE's defenses. Red loses complete controll of the ship, and spins into the infinite void of space, a la Darth Vader~

I HATE BANNANAS! I'LL GET YOU, AFFY!!!!!!!!!!

~As the POE is lost from view, SOMEthing is discharged from it. A life pod? An android?~

[YK] [excessive high-pitch] WHAT THE ZARK IS THAT!?

* A white dot flashes at the top right of the screen - twice. It's the signal for the projectionist to load the last reel of this plot.

*All goes quiet in the Mangar as the battle outside ends and firing stops. The power is up to 50%. GL searches his scanners for enemy ships and finds nothing except a bit space debris floating towards the Mangar. He ignores the debris and powers down the shields. This allows more power to be put into the reserves and the power meter begins to climb faster. GL lets out a deep sigh and stands up as a grin begins to spread across his face.*

WE'VE WON!!!!!

*On the monitor behind GL's back, the "debris" disappears behind the Mangar and fails to reappear on the other side.*

[YK] I've just felt a --

[The entire ship shakes]

*Affy managed to get onto the Mangar and onto the bridge just in time to feel the bridge shake. He checks a few sensors*

We've just had a forced entry through one of the ion ventilation units. Anyone up for a total rip-off of the ventilation scene from "Alien"?

Well, our ventilation pipes are a little... bigger... than theirs. How about if we drive a few of the Yaks through?

The yaks can come too. I, for one, am going to move through those ventilation chambers, and find whatever it is that's going to board the ship.

*Affy is about to enter a handy ventillation shaft, before slapping his head, and running into his Ready Room. He comes back out, wearing one of the invisibility cloaks, and enters the tunnel-sized shaft*

[Mew twitches about in consternation]

[Link] Hey, Affy! Wait for me!

[All Affy can see of Link is Navi until Link gets too close for a decent bowshot, whereupon he quickly fades into view]

NOTE to AFFY: Keep project M&M in mind when dealing with "Montressor"

~elswhere on the ship, Monty, grenade cannon and flame thrower at ready, is creeping steadily towards the bridge~

[Bridge]
Below the ventilator shaft, Peet is balanced on a chair with a Yak on his head. The Yak would, presumably, look most surprised at this, if its head and front legs weren't already inside the ventilator. With a gargantuan heave, it vanishes with a plop and a whinny, and Peet topples to the floor.

That's the last one.

It seems we lost Lintilla when we changed threads. I'm heading off to leave a message on her page, as I don't think she'd want to miss the final battle.

[Link] I'l probably never get the hang of these yaks...

* An eerie calm descends on the ship, broken only by the occasional sound of Yaks stampeding through the overhead metal pipework.