h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

[Y2K and Y2C] [in stereo] ZARK!

[Y2K and Y2C] [in stereo] ZARK!

[YK] By the beard of my pinball! This is FUN!

[He fires a proton torpedo at the POE. The torpedo explodes, and a conner net wraps around the POE.]

~Red is unsure what on earth a conner net is or what it does, so he cannot solve his current delima. He has no idea what restrictions have just been placed on his craft. He can, however, activate a secret Rodentarish weapon. He pushes a button and suddently all scanners, radars, sensors, senses (including sight and any psychic/mystic abilities) etc register four POEs, flying in formation. Since there are an even number it is impossible to guess which is real -- because there isn't one in the middle to aim for~

* Unfortunately, Red is in error here, as there are three flying in triangular formation which are shimmering slightly, and one in the middle which isn't. Time to upgrade his tactical ZX80, methinks...

*GL rubs the dust off of Peet's monitor and the 3 POE's stop shimmering.*

There you go, Peet. That should help.

*GL turns the Mangar and tilts it so that it is broadside and at an angle to the approaching POE's. This brings the forward and aft, port and starboard snowzar cannons all to bear. He fires all 4 simultaneously at the 4 POE's. A snowzar blast flies towards each of the 4 POE'S.*

[I've read the "Thrawn" trilogy in Star Wars -- apparently, a conner net is this net thingy which wraps around a starship. I don't know if it impedes engines in any way]

[That's about right. They work best when the ship hasn't taken off; they're made out of some sort of metal. I imagine a star drive would melt the metal, which might clog up the engines. ]

* A stray Yak wanders through the bridge of the Mangar, chewing contentedly and oblivious to the mayhem going on around it.

[Y2K] OH ZARQUON! WE'RE HEADED FOR THE REACTOR OF THE KRAKKEN!!!

[Y2C] Then oughtn't we be making our impossible-seeming-and-mysterious escape?

[Y2K] OH! Yeah. Right.

[Exterior. The Sith Infiltrator crashes into the side of the Krakken and obviously explodes. This seems to set off a chain reaction, and the Krakken explodes, as well. Out of the blast flies another Sith Infiltrator, this one looking damaged in different ways from the original one]

[YK throws up his hands]

[YK] WOO-HOO!!

[A bit of debris sends the POE spinning out of control, like Darth Vader]

[Exterior, nearby planet]
The sky is turning from purple to deep green as two of the three suns set majestically behind the jagged mountains. Something, perhaps a meteorite, perhaps not, cuts across the sky leaving a corkscrew-shaped vapour trail. One of the local inhabitants, a six-legged creature with a rubbery yellow exoskeleton and red feathery plumes behind each of its eight eye stalks, turns to its companion and says "GwwwGhBllGraaaPhhh!"**

(** "Turned out nice again!")

Weem!

[flips twice]

~The POE simultaneously brings itself back into controll, does something miraculous, and loses its ability to maintain the POE "clones"~

Sorry, but a peice of debris isn't quite significant enough to send the POE to its doom. It'd have been a bit anti-climactic, wouldn't it have?

* Noting that the POE (What *does* that stand for, again?) is still coated with a thin layer of Mustard from earlier in the battle, Peet takes the opportunity to launch a squadron of self-guided hot-dogs with nitro relish.

I feel I should say something pithy at this juncture.

"something pithy at this juncture"

Ah, that's better.

~The POE takes evasive action, the well known "Weiner Manuever"~

Peet, those better be Kosher! I hate Pork Franks!