h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*while KL is wandering about under h2g2 island trying to save the queen, the pharaoh ant queens watch and wait now accompanied by thousands of red ants*

*A space craft appears hovering over the entrance to the rat-ant cave. A hatch opens, and a person that looks like a chameleon falls onto the ground and examines everyone around*

Greetings. I am Special Agent Chameleon, recently brought into h2g2 by the Krylma Leader on the space station. I've just received a direct order from Minos, and he said that if I saw any rat other than a rat-ant I should prevent it from doing whatever it may be up to while he tries to sort out why people are suddenly trying to make him a depressive.

*His two eyes dart around, noticing the movement of the army of ants hiding in the bushes. Chameleon refrains from removing the cans of Raid on his utility belt, but instead snaps his fingers, and two Gecko Warriors fall from the sky. Chameleon utters something in a strange language to them, and they enter the flooded chambers with large devices marked "Rat-Ant Dehydation/Depressurization/Respiration Device: Perfect For All Of Your Rat-Ants Problems Brought On By Over Exposure To Water"*

Chameleon-I'm watching you ants. Very carefully...

*and is tripped by Styx, who pulls him back out of the entrance*

Feh! DISINGENUOUS! We can read backlog too, Lizard. Nobody rest easy in Majic Wood waiting for their number to come up and more soldiers to breed. If friend Afi gets knighted for kiling one ratant, we are dukes now.

*red eyes glow*

Queen is source of eggs. You be happy with 20 ratants, Lizard. No more.

*rustling in wood as horde of happy muddy rats advance*
*Ratcommander Jenner salutes*

*Styx whistles Ratlish and signals with ears* Cmdr Jenner nods and squeaks out some commands*
*rats vanish into sentry positions while soldier ants reform divisions almost invisible*
*watching for stragglers and reprisals*

*soldier ant guard quietly doubled*

*thr probes convey the scene to the GalaGroup Overseer on the Space Station...*


The chameleon mentioned the 'space station'. Now, I don't know what this is, but to differenciate between the Space Station Big C, mine is always in capital letters...


*...Pr. C. Tonks watches with great interest at the occurances. He grins amused, as he saw the Krylma Leader dive head (or whatever) first into the tunnels...*
*...he sends out some more probes, set to follow him and all the other major characters in this thread...unnoticed...*

*sighs*
I always get the bimbo job. *picks up rope* I've been in just enough adventure games to know that you never regret a lot of inventory...

*considers the swamped entrance to the ratant nest*
*looks down at her rope*
*trots off to the Aroma Cafe*

*returns from cafe with VPB which she dons carefully, checks for her healthstone, snowzar and signet ring*

*without hesitating, Lil wades into the entrance and disappears into the nest*

whatches in amusement at his bike

becoming bored with it he locks the teleporter on it and beams the bike it's self up to his ship

sets 2 charges on the water flooder thingy and they detinate as he walks towards the entrance to the nest. Pulling out a smallish device he beams all lifeforms out of the flooded nest, takes 2 different looking rat ants and teleports up to his ship

*surprised to find herself on board yowzupman's ever-so-convenient space ship, still wearing VPB and holding shigarope*

You! First you violate the Majic Wood, then you violate continuity with this last post. Them ratants is dead. And nothing makes me madder than seeing "it's" used instead of "its"!

*grabs her healthstone and beams malignant illness toward the hull. The material becomes brittle and weak and explodes outward with the air pressure of the ship. All beings are sucked out through the hull. The ratants explode immediately. Yowzupman is suited up and suffers no harm. Lil has her VPB, but, unfortunately, no means of stopping her fall*

*Suddenly, the CLI UFO speeds by with the sunroof open. With a soft "plop", Lil lands in the passenger seat. GL, who is piloting the UFO, jumps and does a double take.*

Wh-where did you come from?

*Meanwhile, on the ground, a large wolf gallops up to the scene and stops short. He sniffs around, determines that the colony has truely been wiped out and slowly walks away with is head and tail drooping.*

Oh dear, I've got mud on the seats, I do apologise. But how nice of you to come by!

Er, would you mind circling down to the Majic Wood? There's been a great to-do concerning the rat-ant nest... long story...

*GL pulls the UFO into a turn and circles around the site of the former rat-ant nest.*

Looks like there was some sort of explosion down there. And there seems to be water everywhere. Wait ... oh, I see. The river has been partially diverted and goes underground. If there were any tunnels or caverns under there, I'm sure they are flooded now. Hey! Wasn't there supposed to be a Rat-ant colony in the woods somewhere? I wonder if what we're looking at is its remains. If that's true, then we are rid of it forever, now.

*looking out passenger window*
*sees dazed rats organizing themselves*

I think I'd like to go back to the atelier, if that's allright with you. Could you drop me off?

*soldier ants march back to barracks*

*the spare pharaoh queens take off and fly back to their nests and a life of indolent luxury*

*the red ants are spitting mad about having no one to bite but they eventually go home too*

*A euphoric GL barrel-rolls the UFO back to CLI and lands.*

Sorry about the wild ride - I am a little excited about getting rid of that colony.

no matter how much water you put into something underground there will always be air pockets. Granted most of them died but I said "all life forms" that could mean I beamed some earthworms, 2 rat ants and who else was in there. I never beamed Asteroid up to my ship so how ever you got there is beyond me.

[takes the 2 ratants before they where beamed up to the ship and shifts them forward through time and space to a moon not too far away from planet x]

I vote that we strike these imaginative ramblings by Yowuzupman from the record.

Amy

I agree with Amy. There are still twenty ratants around, Yowuzupman, why not go get two of them and move the story forward cooperatively? Even the two leaders of STUMPED have gone along with the plot!