h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Looks around for the disembodied voice. Shrugs and speaks to a nearby shrub.*

Lil, being a life form, was beamed up when "all life forms" were beamed up. And since the ship subsequently blew up, any Rat-Ants (or worms) that might have also been beamed up, were destroyed. That means that the only Rat-Ants on h2g2 are the 20 that KL and BBW control, and the kidnapped queen. If Y needs a couple of Rat-Ants for some purpose of his own, I suggest he approach KL or BBW about borrowing two of the 20 that they control.

*Wonders if the shrub understood.*

*A sobbing Krylma Leader comes up from the tunnel*

They're all gone. I don't understand! What have I done to Amy, or Lil, or Styx to deserve this. They took my friends. My friends are gone. They're gone. Just like that, they left.

*His eyes blaze and he looks around at the forest*

What did you have against them?? What had they done to you?? The only person they ever harmed was Afgncaap5, and even that doddering scientist was looking for some way to simply get rid of them without this sort of cold-blooded murder! You'll all pay! All of you!

*Notices a vine sneaking up on him. He glares at it*

No, not you! I have no grudge against the forest, except that it could have saved my friends and chose not to! Show me one thing that the rat-ants did that was bad that they have not been forgiven of. They attacked Afgncaap5, but that was a solitary ant, not the same as the tribe you see here. There was even the time when they later injured the foolish adventurer, but only because he was attempting to force entry into their domain. Who here would not protect their home from invaders!

You so-called heroes make me sick. This isn't just murder. This is practically genocide. You had no right to end their lives, just as I would have no right to do something to, say, the Tentacle.

*KL looks around one last time. He knows that, if anyone has even heard his speech, they were probably in possession of selective ears or a stone heart. KL is about to leave, when one of the Gecko warriors he sent into the tunnels manages to stagger back up, carrying the rat-ant saving device. KL looks at the warrior, helps him to his feet and looks at the device. Then he grins when he sees the bio-reading*

Perhaps this forest does have some justice to it after all.

*Turns to the Gecko Warrior*

You will be amply rewarded for this. What of Chameleon and the other warrior, though?

*The Gecko makes several motions in sign language, indicating that the other Gecko died. While he is doing this, a startled Chameleon is pulling himself out of the bushes*

Well, now that we're all here, let us return to our base. After all, we need to prepare a good environment for the last surviving egg to hatch in. It will be a hatchery fit for a Queen!

*As KL has been giving this pep-talk to his two agents, a small space shift floats down from the sky. KL, Chameleon, and the Gecko all hop aboard, and the ship quickly zips off in the direction of Planet X*

Oh boo hoo.

*puts a box of kleenex where visitors can reach it*

What have you ever done to us? Been the leader of STUMPED, that's what.

BTW that egg has been injected with formic acid by the red ant army so expect the youngster that hatches to be somewhat on the sour side.

*The probes, still monitoring the situation, quickly and quitly make a molecular copy of the said specimen, and teleport it onto the Space Station, where it is sealed in Containment Area 6.2, under H-Secure Measurements...*

Amy, the box gives biological readings, and would have detected any poisons that the egg had been injected with. And I'm not going to let you ruin this. You're torturing me for no reason. I'm taking my rat-ants away, and I'll keep them alive and well. Even if I have to break continuity, I WILL NOT LET YOU KILL MY PETS AGAIN. This egg was not injected, even according to continuiy because I recorded it as being healthy before your note about the poison. So this egg is clean and healthy, and will be hatched. This new queen will start a new colony of rat-ants far away from the Aroma Cafe. I can understand you disliking me because I happen to be the leader of h2g2's group of supervillains, I can even understand that you misread the postings leading up to bringing my family back from the TDANE dimension as being a planned assault on the world, but this is too much, Amy. I'm keeping the rat-ants, and no one, not even you, is going to keep them from me! Got that?

*is carrying several jugs of liquids and a small testing kit*
*begins to go to work at the edge of the small pond which fills the hole left by the exploded ratant nest, to adjust the pH balance of the water*

Something tells me the ratant will have a pretty sour disposition even if there is no formic acid injection.

Krylma, let me tell you what I specifically don't like, on the matter of continuity. You spelled it out in this thread that you wouldn't let the ratants do anything nasty for a week. A week had gone by before Amy and Styx stepped in, and good thing too. If those rat-ants were pets then this isn't h2g2. You are letting political rhetoric go to your head. The ratants were an invasion waiting to happen and we know it.

*Lil fills a vial with water and adds several drops out of a small plastic bottle, then swirls the vial. The water turns a very light pink* Ah! We are within acceptable limits! *opens a perforated box, takes out a frog and sets it on the shoreline. The frog considers the situation, then jumps into the pond*

Yes, the water's ok. We can leave the rest to the Magic Wood now.

I don't know whether to offer you cheese to go with that whine or salt to go with the vinegar.

Is there a counselling service for lizards?

Amy, I am not a lizard. I am a human who is only still alive because of the fact that I was injured and needed a particular sample of reptillian DNA in order to survive. And Lil, these rat-ants are not going to be an invasion, not now at any rate. I'm going to keep them, I'm going to raise them, but don't worry about your precious little planet for now. I have other ways of attacking, most of which are a lot more fun than this debate. I'm sorry that you haven't seen that I do have emotions, and that I have an existence outside of being a villain. Everyone involved in this near genocide is forgiven, even though I doubt that any of you will do the same for me. Let me keep my rat-ants in peace, and I will only use them as I use others. I'm sorry I had to have this argument twice in the same week about what constitutes evil and what constitutes personal preferences that only appear evil, because it will strain what little acceptance on h2g2 that I barely maintain.

If you are still taking applications I could do the base support, you know tending the bots being on the other end of the radio to be shocked and supried and send in the air support.

*blush* oops this was a post ment for a diffrent forum....

You were replying to post 20. I guess you hadn't noticed that there were some 128 more posts in the thread after post 20

I'm afraid you are a little bit too late for any action here, but you can read all about it in posts 21-148.

[Freeze-frame on whatever the last thing that happened was] [Voice-over] [Dylan*] Other things are happening, too. http://www.h2g2.com/F26140?thread=90766 [Resume] [*Footnote:] Dylan, YK's IRL self, not Bob Dylan! ;-)]