h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

People who kick your back wheel when you're cycling, even with both hands on the cyclebars. Having said that it is nice to turn around and give the person that did it an earful, or a dirty look at least.

I'm a cyclist myself so I'd never do anything to anyone who wasn't being an idiot but people who ride around without using their handlebars are dangerous to all road users and pedestrians.

They certainly are. Also BMX users who do those funny bunny hop things right in the middle of the road.

I don't have too much of a problem with pavement cyclists (seeing as I am one) as long as they cycle on the pavement sensibly. My reasoning is: if you cycle on the road and get hit by a car you're probably dead. If you cycle on the pavement and hit a pedestrian you both live.

And those younger cyclists who have trendy bikes, which means their saddles are too low, their handlebars too high and they never use an even vaguely high gear. End result - lots of wobbling, in time with their pedalling.

Add that to their total disregard for even small bits of the Highway Code, and it's a wonder any of them are still alive. Also something of a shame...

Yeah, permanently low gears are annoying. I also hate the way there's no standardised bike pump. A few days ago I was pumping up my bike tyres, and though the diameter of the pump head was the right size, the pump fitting was the wrong one. End result? The pump took air OUT of my tyres.

I try too give cyclist a wide berth while in my car. I also slow down while passing them, but WHY do some insist on sittingin the middle of the road, so you have to go all the way over to the other side of the wrong side of the road to avoid them (or go 10mph behind them all the way. Or, at junction, can't they just sit in their place in the traffic? They KNOW you are going to have to overtake them again 10 seconds later???

And also, to the cyclist who knocked me over while I was getting off a bus. The bus was parked at a bus stop. The doors had obviously opened and people were obviously getting of. It was not partly my fault for not looking before I got off the bus (excuse me!?!?!?!?!!???) What were you doing going up the INSIDE of the bus, just cos it couldn't get into the bus stop because of the parked cars..... Sorry, I was too shocked to argue with him at the time, having just been sent flying to the pavement with a bike wheel between my legs....

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh

There's cyclist, and then there's /really/ stupid. And that was really stupid.

If I move up a line of cars at traffic lights it is usually lights I know. I know when it is safe for me to move forward and as such I am usually well clear of the cars by the time it is green.

I was in Belgium recently, and they seem to have the right idea. Cycle lanes are next to the pavement, then there is a car parking lane outside the cycle lane, so instead of running the dual risk,as a cyclist, of being hit by moving cars and opening car doors, in Belgium you only have to worry about passengers suddenly opening their doors in front of you.

The woman at work who seemingly thinks it is below her to talk to anyone beneath management level. Despite many attempts to initiate conversation I still cannot get her to say hello first.

I take issue with cyclists who think that because they don't have a gas-powered engine, they are immune from such things as stopping for pedestrians, signaling their turns while in traffic...

Although I save most of that wrath for the people, both cyclists and motorists, who think they shouldn't have to stop for the flashing red lights on a school bus. Makes me positively insane.

Elitist conversationalists are really annoying, you're right.

road kill that is still to be proved tut tut

People who are relentlessly cheery.

specialy those who always insist it i did'nt say that

I had another one, but I forgot it (again).

There are two scenarios in life where jokes should NEVER be made.
1) In a lift
2) In a fire drill


In a lift:

Room for a little one?
Breathe in.
Do you go all the way?

All three should be punishable with racks and coals or something

Fire drill.


(Looking up) I can't see any smoke
(When fireman arrive) Have you come to rescue me?
(When fireman arrive) Oh let it burn.
(At the end) I'm afraid it was only a drill.


Cue more coals and racks etc.


I'm stopping now. Or I would go on all night.

People who laugh when you've said something serious.

Conversely, people who don't laugh when you say something funny.