h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Or, "if it's good enough to be stocked at Tesco, then it's good enough for us!" Christopher Brookmyre sums that up really well, but he used M People to illustrate it.

There's loads of music I can't stand (and I have probably posted on this thread before)for asthetic reasons, but only one has me in tearful pain ( like you get with migraines )

"Funkytown" by Lipps Inc.. It must be the frequency it vibrates at, but I can't stay in the same room, it hurts, physically

It appears only modern songs annoy but here is a top ten (in no particular order) that would not be on my enemy's Chr*stm*s list...

1) "Grandma" - St. Winifrid's School Choir.

2) "Save your love for me" - Rene and Renata

3) "Thriller" - Michael Jackson (Overkill )

4) "It's different for Girls" - Chicago (sorry, very very bad memories )

5) "The Snowman" - Aled Jones

6) Anything by Sade

7) 99 red baloons - Nena

8) Elvis Presley. Period. Need I say more? Any of that Cr*p is enough to drive me to drink. In fact don't drive me, I'll walk, as long as there is no Juke box with Elvis in there. and

9) Holding Back the Years - Simply Red

10) Tweedle Dee - Jimmy Osmond

There are many more, but luckily I have confined them to the waste bin of my mind..

Still, carry on with the '90's and modern day, as I don't recognise them but don't forget the '50's, '60's. '70's and '80's. There were some serious flops there too, and they made the charts !!!!! It IS the end of the world

You’re Beautiful – James Blunt How I hate it. I’m forced to listen to local radio in my office, so I hear this song at least once an hour when I’m at work.

Toploaders version of Dancing in the Moonlight is another offender of the same kind. I swear that song followed me everywhere for nearly two years. It’s also firmly associated with Jamie Oliver.

There’s a few songs on this thread I actually like. My Baby Just Cares for Me is great! Rhythm is a Dancer is a guilty pleasure.

Woodpigeon: ""I've been to paradise but I've never been to me""

She was rubbish at geography too - where exactly is the "isle of Greece"?

Utterly dreadful song, I'll vote for that too.

I believe she actually sang "the isles of Greece", which makes a bit more sense.

Anything by people whose name rhymes with "Shitney" (Whitney, Brittney) has me reaching for the off button.

Various boy and girl (and some boy-girl) bands of recent years, too many to mention, committed crimes against music. I won't name names, you know who they are.

Anything that calls itself R'n'B. Or, worse, considers itself to be a "flava".

RF

Cliff Richard - The Millennium Prayer.

"Of course! It's been staring me in the face all this time! Why don't I sing the Lord's Prayer (which already has a perfectly servicable tune of its own) to the tune of Auld Lang Syne (which already has perfectly servicable lyrics of its own)? That way I can force my personal beliefs onto even more people who really aren't interested!"

All of the afore mentioned songs are masterpieces compared to Esther and Abi Offarim's "Cinderella Rockafella"


dagnabbit.. I have the song in my head now!!

I'd rather listen to that than the Millennium Prayer...

...or "In The Year 2525".

Silver Machine by Hawkwind.....ANYTHING by Hawkwind.

I made the mistake of turning on one of the music video channels this afternoon and was reintroduced to the delights of Whigfield's 'Saturday Night'.

Still awful. And now I can't stop humming it.

Kum Ba Yah.

I Googled for the spelling and wish that to be my final involvement with this tortuous atrocity inflicted on so many young, fragile minds.

Don't know if this has been mentioned before (apologies if so) but 'Achy breaky heart' by Billy Ray Cyrus has to be one of the worst kinds of dross ever to attempt to pass for music, a pox on all who bought it!

Aaaaaaaaaaagh!

Deeply, truly awful

Going back to "Dancing in the moonlight" by Toploader and it's 'guilty by association' connections to Jamie Oliver. Am I alone in thinking, during dull moments of the day when my mind starts to wander, of splendidly horrific deaths for Oliver and all the members of Toploader? In fact, just Oliver. Toploader are all but dead in the water anyway...actually, I'll start a new thread about ironic ways for the fat-tongued one to shuffle his mortal coil.

I have trouble singling out individual singles these days... as with Reddyfreddy I would go for whole genre's such as the modern abomination that calls itself "R&B" Why is it not possible to produce a track without inserting naff rap-breaks in? Of that ilk, Mariah Carey, already a spawn of satan, lowered herself even further into the pits by reinventing herself with this stuff.

Individualwise though there are a few...

Perfect by Fairground attraction. Vile it was and still is.

1980s song by a group called Hue and Cry (bloke thought he was Sinatra I think). Can't remember the title but it was - alas - their biggest hit.

Another vote for Lady in Red.

Rick Astley has to be up there. And anything by Dollar or Sonia.

Labour of Love, Hue and Cry, or Looking for Linda

As for Mr Fiddler, including neune und neunsiche luftballoon in your list is a travesty. Modern day classic that is. Worth it for the pseudo rock post apocalyptic ending 'you and I just standing pretty, in this dust that was a city...' and for introducing womens hairy armpits on the mainstream population. ike kennedy being shot, everyone can remember where they were the day that nena first lifted her arm up on top of the pops.

Labour of Love

Fast food rockers, Pizza song <that song is so annoying!

All time, ultimate worst pop song ever:

Jimmy Webb's "MacArthur Park," **sung** by Richard Harris in 1968, briefly revisited by Donna Summer in 1978

Stupid lyrics, pretentious orchestration, and far, far too looooooong

The final four lines of the song exactly reflected my reaction whenever I was unable to escape hearing it:

"Oh, no!
Oh, no
No, no
Oh no!!"

A few on the "I think it's the frequency that does it" theory:

Come on Eileen - Dexy's Midnight Runners (I've beeen known to cry if unable to escape from the room its being played in)

Ring my Bell - Anita someone from the 80s

and 2 Bowie singles (and I was a GREAT Bowie fan) - TVC15 and Rebel Rebel.........just put my teeth on edge.