h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Wile E Quixote if you hate "You're beautiful" and "Dancing in the moonlight" you must hate "Have a nice day" by Stereophonics too? Just a guess. These songs have a, what shall I call it, 'jolly blandness' about them that seems to sell?

I can only assume that the only reason why the awful "new" version of "Candle in the Wind" hasn't been mentioned is that people blocked it from their memories - quite understandable. Aside from the lyrics being appalling again like some of other people's hates context is king. It's all connected to the enforced mourning of someone who although tragically died before their time leaving two young boys behind them and did some good work for charity was by no means worthy of the latter day sainthood that got attributed to them and the fact that I would have been lynched for saying anything like this at the time sucked too. I'm assuming no one has been brainwashed into the Saintly Spice mourning cult on here but I'm willing to fight my corner on this one.

Most of the hall of shame has been mentioned although for my sins I quite like "Labour of Love" by Hue and Cry it was better than a lot of the Stock, Aitken and Waterman sh*te that poisoned the charts of the late eighties which is all too numerous to mention here and includes the "careers" of Sinita, Sonia, Jason Donovon, and (sorry I like some of her later stuff but her early material was pants) Kylie Minogue. I would also like to mention Bros - one of the proudest memories I have is hearing "When I will be famous" played in 5th or 6th year common room and recognising it for the rubbish it was. I'd also like to nominate anything by Steps too. It is true that there is so much to vilifed amongst todays dancing dollies bands of both and mixed genders but I think Steps deserve a special mention for lowering the bar just that little bit lower. In fact anything Pete Waterman was anywhere near is definately a candidate - that man is the musical equivalent of an oil slick.

I've mentioned this several times in different threads, but...

My Sharona by The Knack. It's just bloody awful. And Hi Ho Silver Lining by Jeff Beck because someone of JB's calibre really should have known better.

Regarding 'Never Gonna Give You Up'...


Do you remember Rick Astley?
He had a big fat hit it was ghastly.
He said I'm never gonna give you up or let you down.
Well I'm here to tell you Rick's a clown.

Nick Lowe - 'All Men Are Liars'

Actually, I rather liked it. It was everything that came out of the SAW stable afterwards that was crap.

<< you must hate "Have a nice day" by Stereophonics too? Just a guess.>>



Well, *thanks* for reminding me of that one. Your right, it’s the bland, inoffensive ones that offend me the most. Anything by Keane would be a good example.

Ooooh safe ewer luff my dahlink, safe ewer luff Renee & Renato circa 1982 ghastly song that seemed to spend a squillion days in the charts.

Probably ReddyFreddy's jingle.

I should really yikes that. It's a highly offensive comment.

RF

Try living in the West Midlands for a while. Said Renee runs a restaurant somewhere in West Bromwich or something and makes regular celebrity appearances on the local news and the like

RF - at least you've got a jingle!

Any of the modern songs that simply take an older hit and add a bass beat so deep it distorts on any sound equipment other than the multi-gigawatt systems installed in the beat up Vauxhall Novas that drive round town all evening.

My personal nemesis being the godawful remake of "Owner of a lonely heart", a classic from Yes.

Also, has anyone heard "I Like Traffic Lights"? Sung by Terry Jones of Monty Python fame - though to be fair, it was intentionally crap, so it can be excused...

I like traffic lights,
I like traffic lights,
I like traffic lights,
No matter that is what I said,

I like traffic lights,
I like traffic lights,
I like traffic lights,
But not when they are red.

He likes traffic lights,
He likes.... etc etc.

Oh, and I almost forgot, Beautiful South's remake of the ELO song "Living Thing" - I almost crashed my car first time I heard it on the radio!
Bev Bevan's superb drumming replaced by some tosser with brushes! Travesty!

At least the Beautiful South do bad covers with a wink in their eye. Many others mean it seriously. Some surpass the original, such as The Dead Kennedy's cover of Viva Las Vegas.

Superlatives aren't enough.

(a pint for the music technology that can identify that late 80s advertising line).

I actually hate the wink in the Beautiful South's eye! There's something about them, especially the later stuff, that just rubs me up the wrong way. Same thing with The Divine Comedy.

'It's hard to get by,
When your arse is the size,
Of a small country'
(National Express, The Divine Comedy)

Come on, that's class.

That's *precisely* what I mean. Irritatingly knowing Jarvis Cocker wannabe with far less talent than he thinks he has and a voice that makes me want to hit something

I had to listen to that bit again to see if he really sang what I thought he sang! It's crap, but it's funny crap! Thing is, I think I've met the hostess he's on about!

Oi Trin, do you want to take this outside? I'll find someone much bigger than me to have a go.

And then Neil Hannon will write a terribly witty song about the ensuing melee, no doubt. He'll probably rhyme 'melee' with 'Pele'

Father Ted theme tune. I'll give 'em that. But that's it.

I don't have the energy to discuss this with you. I feel your talent receptors might be in need of tuning.