h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Time to expand this conversation out to involve friends and family.

Any takers ?

Red

oooh just a quick one from me

This morning I travelled on the train with some one I was 90% sure was Bob Geldof. I am reading a very funny book at the moment and at one point started to giggle. I then tried to suppress it, cos laughing in public on your own is so embarrassing but it just got worse. The more I tried not to giggle the more I did.

But the time we reached Charing Cross I had had to put the book away, and had tears rolling down my face. The mental image was so brilliant that I was in hysterics and was laughing so hard there was no sound coming out at all, just violent shaking. Everyone was looking at me, and the more they looked the harder it was to regain control.

(The book incase you are interested was "Playing Tennis with theMoldovans" by Tony Hawks - highly recommended as is his previous one "Round Ireland with a Fridge")_

Loved it Abi - especially the ending (don't panic I won't spoil it for you). Possibly the most embarrassing (and public) demonstration of the consequences of losing a bet.

Red

Well this was kind of embarrasing for everybody on the train and must have been for the Lady too (if she ever remembers it):

Sitting on the train at a Station a lady sat across from us suddenly started coughing up Dark Red Fluid and moaning and saying stuff like "call me an ambulance". Someone did, thinking she was coughing up blood, and stopped the train for 10 minutes while Ambulance crew arrived - we all tried to help her of course. The ambulance crew carted the poor lady off.

When she had gone, and the train doors closed we noticed, for the first time, the smell - RED WINE/Punch - and saw whole segments of Orange (including Peel) on her seat, which were obviously previously in the Punch, or whatever she had drunk.... I wonder what she thought when she sobered up.....

My Dad's most embarrassing moment...

Dad is a huge John Le Carre fan and he loved the BBC adaptation of the Smiley novels...

Any way he is an antiquarian book dealer and he used to have a big shop in Mayfair. One day a man came into the shop and spent about 3 hours going carefully through all the bookshelves. Eventually he asked for my Father. "Mr Sawyer, I was wondering if you would put this book aside for me. I am fairly sure it would fill a gap in my collection but I wish to return home and check first."

"Certainly" said Dad. "Which name should I reserve it under?"

"Alec Guinness" came the quiet reply.

Dad cringes to this day, but I have never heard him speak so highly of any one. The wondeful thing was that Alec Guinness was so modest, he hadn't even expected Dad to recognise him.

Nice one Argon (as far as embarrassing moments go it's the classiest one so far).

I'm going to take the tone down a notch or to (well to the bottom rung actually). This is really funny but I don't want to be moderated as it's a bit close to the knuckle. It concerns a friend of mine's most toe-curling moment.

I was at a lovely dinner party some years ago with some very close friends whom I'd known for years. After several bottles of wine the conversation somehow got onto what you said when you were with your loved one and reached the point of maximum enjoyment if you catch my drift.

Well, the conversation came round the table as one by one we said what words (or noises in some cases) we uttered. There was a few `I love you's` and the odd `Darling` but as my best friend was about to state his piece his girlfriend interupted and said `he usually says sorry` !

I still cringe for him to this day (hasn't stopped me telling it a million times though).

Red




Red

that is sheer class.

It made the whole Editorial team laugh!

rotflmao!!!


one of my teachers once walked around the class for an entire period with one of the buttons on her blouse open... fortunately for her, someone was kind enough to finally inform her...

I'm very glad to share that precious moment with you all - my friend`s misfortune has brought a lot of joy to people down the years.

Come on Abi - got anything juicy out of Mark yet ?

Red

Only one button, is it that embarrasing? But it isn´t that much fun either to come out of a job interview and found your fly was undone during the whole thing. Though that is certainly not my most embarassing thing, just one I was willing to tell about.

one button, in the right place, can make a HUGE difference... and hers was open in just that place...

I'm curious about the person who told the teacher - was it a girl or a boy ? and how well did it go down with the boys in the class ?

I suspect both answers are going to be very, very obvious

Red

While it's by no means the most embarrassing thing that's happened to me this story is always amusing. As a child, I ate chalk. Yes, that's right, Crayola white chalk. I suspect my diet was minerally deficient somehow. Anyway, while sitting in class one day, I decided to satisfy my craving by stealing a piece out of the tray below the chalkboard. Hypothetically this should have been easy to do as my desk was next to the blackboard--we were arranged in a circle. But, one of my classmates spied me and yelled at the teacher: "Becky's eating your chalk!!"

I wanted to sink under my desk and disappear. This incident, however, did not end my addiction...

Another story would be the time a friend of mine in high school stood up before the class to deliver a paper to the teacher. Her back was to the class. Without realizing it, she had begun her period. There was a big red stain on the back of her white skirt. We were rolling in the aisles laughing, and the teacher had to send her out of the room.

Mine is more of a faimly member he was four at the time and quite obviously and individual.

Whilst in the local shopping emporium my delightful son lost the plot to shopping by screeming "I love bunny rabbits!" Climb into the cheese counter and started to swim around.

I didn't know were to put myself, but calmly asked him if he would'nt mine getting out and finding me some bannanas. People at the check out gave me a mixture of apologetic smiles and utter contempt.

i'm not sure whether this is more fitting for the sudden out burst page?
As for them i have many but have lost the conversation link.
<{{><

Had a beaut tonite. Out enjoying a meal in Perth with the wife and some friends and a trivia question got asked (you may have heard this before) along the lines of `What has Julio Inglesias, Lucciano Pavarotti, Pope John Paul II and the french philosopher Albert Camus got in common ?` The answer to this is that they were all footballers (goalkeepers I'm led to believe).

At this revelation my wife says `I wouldn't have thought they'd allow the Pope to play`.

Bless her.

Red

Hmmm I thought your trivia question was going to be the one along the lines of Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one, Michael J Fox has a small one, the Pope John Paul II doesn't use his and Madonna doesn't have one ......

And it certainly isn't to do with goal-keeping.

As for Abi and "Playing Tennis with the Moldovans" I just finished reading it last week. Very good it was too. Which bit did you find especially funny? I liked the bit were he talks about Barry Davies' commentary for Playstation Tennis. Very good indeed. BTW if you want to read another very funny sports book, try "Through The Net" by Simon Golding - all about his volleyball experiences of the last 15 years or so.

BBS

It was the bit about FC Agro v Dynamo Bender

Ah, I feel a lot better now, after reading all yours, although while on holidays I did commit another rather embarrassing mistake...

Thankyou to everyone who helped prove that I truly was right when I said .

Trying to get my kids to believe that the old Barry Manilow record they found wasn't mine, it was their father's. (I think they bought it)