h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

How come aetheists can get insurance for acts of god ?

Red

in stores, there are sometimes bright red emergency phones. they are red so they can be spotted easily. why do THEY have braile?

Why do we say a pair of pants?

Same deal with trousers - you can't buy a trouser.

One for all you girls out there - why is brassiere singular and panties plural ?

Red
Woof-woof-howl

actually, when pants (pantaloons) first came out they were basically seperate sleaves that you slid your legs into and attached to a belt of sorts. then another piece of cloth (loin cloth) was wrapped around your, well... loins to complete the outfit.
So originally you needed a pair of pants (pantaloons), one for each leg. I don't know about the trouser thing though.

why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

::plays his magic "Change from Questions to Statements" card::

*a clown seal enters, balancing a colorful ball on his nose, rises on his hind legs and applauds the audience*

As incredible as it sounds, Flipper was not a seal.
(seal bad/porpoise good/seal food/porpoise friend)

Why did Mike Tyson have a body guard?

Why do they call it "road works" when the road doesn't work?

Why did they call it "industrial action" when there was no action taking place in that particular industry?

Why do they call them "stop" lights, not "go" lights?

Why won't GuideML work in my introduction?

When the lights go off in the fridge, is the food scared???

What is the point of a Vacuum cleaner ?

How can someone have a "Drink" problem when they never spill a drop?

Scientists divide vacuums into hard vacuums (like in space) and soft vacuums (like inside a suction pump). Hard vacuums stay clean, the dirt just wipes off, but soft vacuums tend to get covered in fluff, lint and old bits of chewing gum, hence the need for a vacuum cleaner.

Ben,

What are stop lights?

Exuberance: Perhaps you haven't changed the bit saying whether it's plain text or GuideML.

38-J

JOTD: A friend in need is a fiend indeed.

Exuberance: Perhaps you haven't changed the bit saying whether it's plain text or GuideML.

38-J

JOTD: A friend in need is a fiend indeed.

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Red Dog

Stop lights are what the Americans call Traffic Lights...
or so I have been told

Tarzan had a beard, but it kept getting tangled around the lianas as he swung through the trees. Eventually he decided it was too much trouble and either the beard or the liana swinging had to go.