h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Evillene snatches NYC out of the sky as he flies past, trailing a hail of bullets*

It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye... You sure got here quick. And brought quite a turnout. Thanks, babe.

*Evillene takes great pleasure in NYC's blushing confusion*

Now... which hero to pummel...



*slowly stalks after scandrea*

*engages one of the ninjas in battle*

Take that! Oops, missed... And that! Ow!

*decides to fight dirty*

And that!

*The ninja facing David B throws a smoke bomb onto the floor and turns on his thermal vision before attempting several rapid jabs to the ribs. Meanwhile, the other three ninjas (two of which faced the difficulty of readjusting their uniforms) attempt to surround Red Dog*

*draws his own heron-mark blade, pirouettes to dodge the light sabre, feints to the right then to the left, does a little shimmy and then with three lightning quick flicks of the wrist deftly cuts the belts holding up the Ninja's trousers*

*stands back and bows in readiness for the applause*

[Darth Sipid applauds. Darth Brooks elbows him in the side.]

[Corrigible waits for Red Dog to suddenly fall in half, but then frowns, disappointed, and attempts to punch Red Dog in the side of the head.]

*NYC feels wooed for a moment, then recollects himself and calls out to Scandrea*

[NYC] Hey you! Insipid doer of good! Why don'cha come and ARREST me?!

*grin, levels hand-cannon*

*Considering the fact that the ninjas wear traditional ninja gear instead of big, loose-fitting baggy pants, the removal of their belts does nothing except make the ninjas fight without an extra piece of clothing weighing them down. Their lightning fast punches come at Red Dog from all sides!*

(in various amouts of elasticised, broken penciled-in-ear, and pummeling pain, Redfox (Who is human, note) retreats to a corner, in which he can reach De-e-e-e-e-e-p into his pockets, and pull out "The ridiculously large, 50-million guns glued together to form 2 giant guns that can miraculously be wielded by a single man, guns")

(He looks like a 1980's, edgy action movie villan)

*Dirty Harry Voice*
You pushed me...

just a little too far...

Punk.
*Dirty Harry Voice*

(Begins firing in the direction of Red Dog, the guns roaring, shells flying at such a tremendous rate, within 2 seconds, redfox is ankle deep in them, thereby producing such a hail of indescriminate munitions it would be impossible for anyone but a ninja to avoid all of it.)

[Darth Corrigible, who'd been FIGHTING Red Dog just now, dodges stray bullets like Neo! They zoom on towards Darth Brooks, who raises his hand and /blocks/ them in midair like Neo.]

*with his personal force field failing and body armour flaring with energy blasts and ricochets RD goes down under the Ninja's, Corrigible's and Red Foxes combined assault*

*Red Dogs patent Hero-in-distress Beacon automatically cuts in opening a trans-thread rift under the supine Hero depositing him to a place of safety*

[Corrigible] OH YEAHHHH! I am SO awesome! [strikes a Badass Villain victory pose]

*The gecko warrior ninjas look around at the vanished Red Dog*

GW#532-Cheater.

*The Gecko Warriors all nod in agreement and turn to the nearest hero to continue their attacks*

*Scandrea wakes up, and notices a very large gun pointed at her, as well as a small painted crest of hair bobbing toward her.*

help.

*Tracer makes a leap from behind at NYC, aiming to pin him to the ground, as Scandrea gets up to face Evillene.*

For the record, I wasn't going to arrest you until you'd done something evil, but well, I guess this is it!

[NYC] What? My reputation hasn't preceded me? What intel do you heros even GET?! Why, for all the hard wo-- AAUGH!

*NYC is tackled by a large wolf and thrashes about the floor a bit trying to get out from under it. He reaches back for his tulwar, for today was Pirate's Day, special sale in Corrupt's Shop*

*the Dewey Demon is very pleased to have been behind Darth Brooks while all of that was happening, even if he has got bruised ribs from the ninja's attack*

*spots Red Dog's H-Dial lying on the floor, sweeps it up and dials H-E-R-O*

Ta-daaaaaa! It's Bits 'n' Pieces Boy!

*sends one arm off to attack a ninja, a leg to kick Red Fox, his head to see what's happened to Scandrea and the rest of him, balancing somewhat precariously, turns on Darth Brooks*

*scratches vest to release odour of 99 years in prison for anyone that raises a finger against a hero. Accidentally elbows ninja in the eye while trying to locate a useful stain.*
Oops, sorry old thing! Are you alright?

*a trans-thread warp opens behind NYC and a rejeuvenated RD appears. Stepping on NYC's hand as he reaches for his Tulwar RD draws a rose-gold sword from a sheath at his waist*

Behold the Sword of the Dawn ye villainous hordes

*as the Sword is drawn a golden light tinged with a hint of red bathes the fighting and a Rose coloured warrior in ancient dress appears behind each Villain, Villainess, cartoon character, fantasy figure of a warped imagination, Henchman, Henchwoman, Henchperson .... take your pick you you where I'm going with this .... and engages them in combat*



Sword info' at A763166

sighs in frustration at his lack of typing skills ..... "you know where I'm going with this of course" .... sighs again

Hey, why is there a rose-coloured warrior in ancient dress attacking me?

Get off!



Stop chasing me!



At least give me time to get my limbs back together!



I'm not a villain, honest!

(Becomes disgruntled)

eeeYARGH!!

(Pivots and begins ffiring at ghostly rose colored waarrior, yet again pouring ammunition at his opponent faster than the Niagara falls)

Damn you and your "Hero in Distress Beacon"...

Zounds like an escape clause to me!!

(Also notes that he seems to be the only person using [kind of] traditional weaponry)

(Decides to do something about it, namely, order in some henchmen on the radio. Through a mysterious rift of continuity, Space Marines [Whose Chapter master happens to be a friend of Redfox] begin to pour into the already cramped space. Not good news for the heroes. (for info see here: http://us.games-workshop.com/games/40k/spacemarines/extras/dailyrituals/dailyrituals.htm and other parts of the site)