h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*walks with back pressed against the wall but with belly hanging over the edge fo the precipice*
I daren't look down!
*looks down. Falls off ledge but manages to catch Inky's ankle*
Help!

*Keeping her balance by holding on to the sink, Scandrea reaches down, and grabs onto Vestboy's arm, trying to pull him up.*

*with one hand on the door frame, holds on to Inkwash with the other, hoping to steady him*

Looks up at Scandrea. You won't let me go again will you?

Not until you're out of danger of falling.

*Tries to pull him up, but can't.*

After this, you're going on a diet.

Diet?!
*snatches hand away and falls*
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*Vest fills with air and so forms into a parachute*

It's quite dark down he...
*Thump! Hits the floor. Lies dazed for a moment while vest settles gently around him. Looks about.*
Blimey! A couple of feet either way and I'd have been in the hot stuff.
HAS ANYONE GOT A ROPE?

*looks down the crack in horror*

No, but we could try using that handy chain hanging from the cistern...

Can you see Moulting Lather?

*Looks down and notices cloven hoof prints in the dirt*
I think Bambi has been this way.
*Turns round and sees a skeleton with a book clasped to his chest and an old fashioned prospector's hat.*
Waaaah! Wassat!?
*gets closer and examines book*
This is the log of Chester Copperpot. Apparently he was looking for the "lost tresha of Moulting Lather, the dreaded villin what eats his emmenies".
*Looks more closely at skeleton*
He's covered in teeth marks.

*starts edging back towards the cistern to grab the chain*

*comes to, and notices the superheroes ditching her*

*mutters* I see how it is. Ditching me just because I have a healthy disregard for the law... *sigh*

*slowly makes her way toward the door*

Did anyone hear some kind of sigh?
I think it came from the direction of the door...

*seems to have at least one superhero hanging off him thus preventing his move to intercept potential invisible villains*

Thinks: "Rescue Vestboy or track invisible woman? Hmmm...."

*lets go of all other people and continues attempting to grab the chain*

I'll rescue Vestboy if you'll track the invisible woman!

*makes another unsuccessful grab for the chain*

Teamwork!
Excellent.

*uses his superpower of "invisible bowling ball" to track the invisible woman*

*Scandrea pulls out a can of spray paint and starts randomly spraying where she thinks Evillene might be.*

*the Dewey Demon makes a successful grab for the chain...with both hands, now finding himself dangling from the cistern*

call me an old worrier but haven't we just transported an invisible STUMPED Villainess of the first magnitude straight into the middle of our HQ thus bypassing all the security devices ?

We'd better organise a search before all the alarms go off !

*the alarms go off*

*faint echoey voice from down the chasm*
I think I may have found a secret tunnel that will lead me to safety. Does anyone know a girl by the name of Hope? Apparently I should abandon all of her before I enter here. Well, as she's not with me I'll skip the abandoning bit and go straight in.
*Silence*

Vestboy? Just grab the duct tape, OK? Don't go into that cave!

*Ties a roll of duct tape to the light fixture, and sends one end down to Vestboy. She pulls DD back to safety, and goes to look for the source of the alarm.*

*In the tunnel*
It's a bit dark in this tunnel.
*Trips over bones*
Oh! look another skeleton. Let me look at the parchment he's got in his hand.
*reads slowly*
"I am Arne Saknussemm. I am trapped here and don't think I can last much longer. The monster that eats his enemies is fast approaching. I can hear his breath in the tunnel. I can see his burning eyes. He is coming closer. He is very nea "
*turns page over - blank*
He is very nea? Neat? A neat monster, cool!
*Examines skeleton.*
Hmmm, you're covered in teeth marks too.
*Looks back the way he has come.*
I can't see those other super heroes yet? I wonder what's keeping them. I hope they're alright.

rrrrrkkkk ..... grrrggggllee ...... shhhhhhhtttt ......