h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hairball?

~attempts to communicate using "charades" sign language whilst choking~

*holds up three fingers*

*scratches vest to release odour of telepathy*
Hmmm. Three fingers. That could mean three words.

*Scandrea goes behind Red Dog, and attempts to give him the Heimlich manuver*

*evillene hears that she has been brought to CHOPPERS HQ and cheers up greatly*

*quietly makes it out the door with only a bit of hair being painted*

*presses button on invisible wristwatch*

*Notices the moving bit of paint.*

HEY!!!!

*Slaps Red Dog on the back, and chases Evillene.*

*evillene runs like the dogs of h**l are on her back, which they likely are*

*breaks or knocks over anything in her path*

*pulls out bowie knife and grabs hold of hair, begins to cut painted bit off*

*painted hairs begin to form a train on the floor*

(*poofs* acridly into the room and into a tackle of Red Dog)

*HOOOOOAARRRGH!!!*

*Follows the trail of red hair, with Tracer close beside her picking up the scent. She catches up with Evillene, and throws a kick at her knee.*

Why did you call /him/ here?

*telepathy*
It could be 3 syllables I suppose. Ooh, I love party games!

I was going with an "Evillene's strangling me" line but things seem to have moved on a bit and I need to deal with Red Fox now it seems

Goes down under Red Fox's tackle from behind.

*waits for a Red Card from the Referee but seeing as there is not one around jabs Red Fox in the eye with an elbow*

*Noise of hot steaming breath rushing up the tunnel towards Vestboy*
*telepathy*
It's gone blank. That's not like Red Dog. He's normally blank all the time. Maybe I'd better go back.
*Runs off back to tunel entrance and appears at the foot of the chasm. Hot breath getting closer and closer*
*Scratches vest to release odour of tampons... cotton wool will not grip rocky surface.*
Ufff! Silly me!
*Scratches vest to release odour of crampons. Begins climb back up. Bristly teeth snap just below saggy underwear*
I'm coming folks, just hang on!

That's gotta hurt

*wrestling with Red Fox*

Absolutely. You wouldn't want to get Vestboy's underwear in your teeth !

*is torn between helping Scandrea chase Evillene, helping Red Dog fight Red Fox, helping Vestboy rescue himself and helping Inky spectate*

*reaches down the chasm to help Vestboy haul himself up*

Um, there appears to be a monster behind you!

*reaches with more urgency*

(Grapples gamely with Red Dog)

*grramph urgh THUD*

(Uses Karate Chop Action)

*Hiyah!*

*lies gasping for air at top of chasm. Scratches vest to release odour of soothing cup of tea.*
Ahhh, that's better!
What monster?
*Looks down chasm to see monster chomping on tampons.*
Well they should keep him busy for a bit.

*takes chop on shoulder*

Ow

*bites down hard on something*

*Yeeouch!*

My Ankle!

(Tires of wrestling and shuffles thru the pockets on the inside of his jacket, looking for weapons)

(tries to shake Red Dog off)

Aha!

(produces a crowbar, with which he begins to pry Red Dog's teeth open with)

*The door opens, to a scene not unlike a derelict space station, and NYC emerges from it. NYC then promptly falls into a particularly large crack in the floor, glowing red. He lands on a precipice some ways down, but the contents of his pockets apparently seem intent on finding their own ways around*

[NYC] Crap! I needed those! You! You there! Hooven creature with the flute! Could you give me that key?