h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*appears from concealment at the moment Witty's volley peppers the choir loft. The sentry takes one in the torso and drops a hand grenadine which he was about to throw. The explosive device rolls under the pews and stops close to where Caerwyn and Titania are hiding*

*a head pokes out from behind the green door*

Good Lord ! Heavily armed fruit 'n' veg !!

*a Broccoli spear embeds itself in the door close to A Man Valled Jello's head*

*

*Well behind the rest of the posse, Carmel and company arive with a bump as they sail over the final step (the trials of getting the pugs and the little red wagon up the stairs are best left off camera and up to the reader's imagination).*

Dear, oh dear, whatever have we stumble into?!

*Blue Bear expertly stears the team to safety under a pew*

*Just behind, Sol charges up the stairs brandishing sword.

As she comes throught ther door, a pat of mash catches her squarely in the face*

Ooof.

*Sol staggers a bit and falls behind a pew*

*doesn't see the fire shot coming at her, too busy shooting arrows*

*doesn't actually notice it at all until it sets her blonde wigs on fire*

WHAT THE !?

*hastily rips off helmet and flaming wigs and with a twist of her arm sends them sliding across the floor towards what's left of the Green Beanets*

*quickly rolls over away from the spot where she has been lying, fully expecting another fire shot any moment*

Ouch! What's that?

*rather resembles an illustration from 'The Princess and the Pea'
http://www.denmark.org/mermaid_Feb97/princes.html
when she comes to rest on the floor with something poking her in her back bone*

*Spuds, turnips and even some green leafed vegetables are whizzing past his ears as Munchkin pulls himself up to look over the top of a pew. He decides to take a few potshots at the Vegematic, mostly to try and scare the Evil Celery twin but hopefully to hit some vital part. He gets off three quick shots in the right direction before a turnip mortar demolishes the pew he is hiding behind, sending him sprawling.*

*wakes up just in time to avoid been run down by blue bear in the little red wagon* helps to settle the pugs then climbs into the wagon*

I think we had better stay here until the atmosphere is less full of vegetables. Us small 'uns could be seriously impaired by lumpy mash!

*as usual the crossbow is discharging bolts in every direction but the one selected by the laser target*

Blasted thing!

*some stray Fast Freeze bolts do embed in the wooden columns supporting the choir loft, which appears to freeze from the ground up, slowly*

*uses frying pan to return the mash potato volley with more effect. However it is now possible to see from her forehand why she was picked to play in interhouse tennis matches, but for the school team*

Have at you, ye vegetables!

*Stares for a Moment at the Pope hat *

Why! Yer gave my Pope hat to Some other preacher! Yer yeller stalked Celery!

*Aims at the Celery and finally notices that there are two *

TWINS! I hate twins!

* Fires at anything that moves *

That face! Despite the evil grimace he looked amazingly like me! Could it be? Finally after all these years?


* Stands*

Wesley! Brother!

*with the demon backhand whacks a particularly lumpy serving of mashed potato towards a group of celery clones*

*rolls over, discovers that she's been lying on a hand grenadine*



Caerwynn! Knock this away!

*grabs grenadine and pitches it at Caerwynn*

* Ignoring the various Missiles that whiz past him. *
Wesley! All my life I have been searching for You! And now with the Good Jello's grace we have been reunited! My brother! My twin!

*Momentarily stunned, then turns his revolver on the Reverend Lovejello. *

TWIN! Yer stole my rightful place in the cradle! I's gonna kill yer, yer

/* Zeppo spots Titania throwing a , grabs it as it arcs through the air, and returns it to her. He sits and wags his tail, waiting for her to throw it again. */

Eh... good boy, Zeppo... *pats and grabs his collar*

CAERWYNN! *pitches the grenadine again*

*Sits up slowly and brushes off the matchwood that is all that is left of the pew. A large dod of mash catches him in the shoulder and he falls to the floor again. Only this time he hastily scrambles for cover, in a towads the main entrance sort of direction*
Could do with some sort of map/state of play as I'm getting a bit lost here

*with a bit of nifty foot work, uses a punchy double forehand as if she was at the net, the grenadine hurtles back over the pews, before can reach it*

Sorry to spoil your fun Zeppo, but you really wouldn't have liked it if that thing had gone off pop in you mouth.