A Conversation for The Temple of Confusionism
I actually remember the duck I decided that I was going to learn to raise giant grapefruits with one loobrush at a platypus so I could look like Bruce Forsyth. Took most of an invisible ray to locate a body of smoke fit for walking on that was willing to
Arthbard Posted Dec 30, 2002
Yes. I think so...Maybe...Actually, I'm not entirely sure...
I actually remember the duck I decided that I was going to learn to raise giant grapefruits with one loobrush at a platypus so I could look like Bruce Forsyth. Took most of an invisible ray to locate a body of smoke fit for walking on that was willing to
Researcher 185550 Posted Jan 1, 2003
I think I'd go around the fattest person alive's body, because it'd be so roomy.
I actually remember the duck I decided that I was going to learn to raise giant grapefruits with one loobrush at a platypus so I could look like Bruce Forsyth. Took most of an invisible ray to locate a body of smoke fit for walking on that was willing to
Arthbard Posted Jan 2, 2003
Oh, that's a pretty good idea. You wouldn't want to keep bumping into stuff, after all.
I actually remember the duck I decided that I was going to learn to raise giant grapefruits with one loobrush at a platypus so I could look like Bruce Forsyth. Took most of an invisible ray to locate a body of smoke fit for walking on that was willing to
Researcher 185550 Posted Jan 13, 2003
You'd want to bump into stuff sometimes... I mean, think of the fun you could have!
I actually remember the duck I decided that I was going to learn to raise giant grapefruits with one loobrush at a platypus so I could look like Bruce Forsyth. Took most of an invisible ray to locate a body of smoke fit for walking on that was willing to
Pandora...Born Again Tart Posted Jan 13, 2003
hmmmmm.....whose body?!?....hmmmmm...
Would it be painful?? Not for me....but for the person's body I was going around in? 
I actually remember the duck I decided that I was going to learn to raise giant grapefruits with one loobrush at a platypus so I could look like Bruce Forsyth. Took most of an invisible ray to locate a body of smoke fit for walking on that was willing to
Arthbard Posted Jan 13, 2003
Ooh...That brings up the question of whether you'd choose the person whose body you'd most want to explore or the person whose body you'd most like to do serious damage to.
I actually remember the duck I decided that I was going to learn to raise giant grapefruits with one loobrush at a platypus so I could look like Bruce Forsyth. Took most of an invisible ray to locate a body of smoke fit for walking on that was willing to
Pandora...Born Again Tart Posted Jan 13, 2003
I actually remember the duck I decided that I was going to learn to raise giant grapefruits with one loobrush at a platypus so I could look like Bruce Forsyth. Took most of an invisible ray to locate a body of smoke fit for walking on that was willing to
Researcher 185550 Posted Jan 14, 2003
Serious damage. It's the perfect crime. mWAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAAAAAAAA!
I actually remember the duck I decided that I was going to learn to raise giant grapefruits with one loobrush at a platypus so I could look like Bruce Forsyth. Took most of an invisible ray to locate a body of smoke fit for walking on that was willing to
Pandora...Born Again Tart Posted Jan 14, 2003
Perfect? I think not, for 'I', Pandora have comitted The perfect crime. 
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I actually remember the duck I decided that I was going to learn to raise giant grapefruits with one loobrush at a platypus so I could look like Bruce Forsyth. Took most of an invisible ray to locate a body of smoke fit for walking on that was willing to
Researcher 185550 Posted Jan 15, 2003
Oooooooooooooh what is it? Do tell.
I actually remember the duck I decided that I was going to learn to raise giant grapefruits with one loobrush at a platypus so I could look like Bruce Forsyth. Took most of an invisible ray to locate a minisub of smoke fit for walking on that was willing
Arthbard Posted Jan 15, 2003
Oh, yes. Tell. I'm on the edge of my seat. Does it have anything to do with apricots?
I actually remember the duck I decided that I was going to learn to raise giant grapefruits with one loobrush at a platypus so I could look like Bruce Forsyth. Took most of an invisible ray to locate a minisub of smoke fit for walking on that was willing
Pandora...Born Again Tart Posted Jan 16, 2003
Ohmyhell...were you there?!? 
I tried to find the bit in my book.....so, I'll jusss have ta' paraphrase....We'll call this 'theft by persecption'.
Once upon a time I dated a wealthy, albiet creapy 
...we'll call him Goober. () Every year on my birthday Goober would take me to my favorite eatery and stuffalate me...then, naturally, we'd go back to his place and spend the night bumping uglies, as it were.
After several turn downs for marriage ...I stopped seeing Goober. However, I did continue to work in the same building. 
As my b'day neared Goober came into my office and said, "Snookums, (he called ALL his girls that so there would be no confusion on his part) unless I get a better offer...I'll take you out to dinner on your b'day, but only if you f*** me."
(I was so sickened and mad and...put any vulgar words here)
I smiled sweetly and said, "Okay!"
He said, "You WILL?!?" 
I said, "Sure, you take me out and I'll f*** you."
The 9th of December rolled around...& out we went....Oh I ate well! Lobster, crab cakes....and I was full after the salad...so the food I took home was enough for three entire meals! ...I also drank expensive martinis...and he gave me roses....ect......
We get to his driveway....he tries to hand me the key to the front door, telling me he would drive down the hill & park (my heels would have been dangerous on the icey slope)...I got out of the car and said, "Thanks, but I won't be needing the key."
He said,"Oh, so, you still have the one I gave you?!"
I said, "Nope, I'm going home now." And I started walking to my sports car...
He yelled, "HEY! You said you'd f*** me!" I said, "Yep, that's right Goober, you've just been f***ed."
I then got in my car and went home.
The End
I actually remember the duck I decided that I was going to learn to raise giant grapefruits with one loobrush at a platypus so I could look like Bruce Forsyth. Took most of an invisible ray to locate a minisub of smoke fit for walking on that was willing
Researcher 185550 Posted Jan 16, 2003
Don't cross Pandora!
I actually remember the duck I decided that I was going to learn to raise giant grapefruits with one loobrush at a platypus so I could look like Bruce Forsyth. Took most of an invisible ray to locate a minisub of smoke fit for walking on that was willing
Pandora...Born Again Tart Posted Jan 16, 2003
I didn't just pick that name out of a hat ya' know.
I actually remember the duck I decided that I was going to learn to raise giant grapefruits with one loobrush at a platypus so I could look like Bruce Forsyth. Took most of an invisible ray to locate a minisub of smoke fit for walking on that was willing
Researcher 185550 Posted Jan 19, 2003
Well, I expect they wouldn't allow you to call yourself "The Super- B****".
I actually remember the duck I decided that I was going to learn to raise giant grapefruits with one loobrush at a platypus so I could look like Bruce Forsyth. Took most of an invisible ray to locate a minisub of smoke fit for walking on that was willing
Pandora...Born Again Tart Posted Jan 21, 2003
How DARE you!
So, in other words, you think Goober was a 'prince' or sumthin'?
It was alright for him to speak to me in such a way without...
skip it...you're a guy... 
I actually remember the duck I decided that I was going to learn to raise giant grapefruits with one loobrush at a platypus so I could look like Bruce Forsyth. Took most of an invisible ray to locate a minisub of smoke fit for walking on that was willing
Researcher 185550 Posted Jan 22, 2003
Sorry, sorry, sorry, it was because of the tremendous sense of let- down he would have felt.
But Goober deserved it. No- one should treat people like that.
"The Super- B****" was kind of taking it too far. Sorry again.
I actually remember the duck I decided that I was going to learn to raise giant grapefruits with one loobrush at a platypus so I could look like Bruce Forsyth. Took most of an invisible ray to locate a minisub of smoke fit for walking on that was willing
Arthbard Posted Jan 23, 2003
Heh, heh. I think that story's probably much better than any one about apricots would have been.
I actually remember the duck I decided that I was going to learn to raise giant grapefruits with one loobrush at a platypus so I could look like Bruce Forsyth. Took most of an invisible ray to locate a minisub of smoke fit for walking on that was willing
Pandora...Born Again Tart Posted Jan 24, 2003
Thank you.
You *do* realise that wasn't 'just' a story...it's the story of my life.
As far as poor Goobber having been 'let down'...I can assure you, he made a phone call & was being, er, de-frustrated
by the time I made it back to my house. 
Besides, I learned looooong ago a fella' doesn't explode-a-late or nothin' if he don't get what he's wantin' when he's wantin' it. Or somethin'. 
I actually remember the duck I decided that I was going to learn to raise giant grapefruits with one loobrush at a platypus so I could look like Bruce Forsyth. Took most of an invisible ray to locate a minisub of smoke fit for walking on that was willing
Arthbard Posted Jan 27, 2003
Yes, of course. I wonder if the story of your life is filled with many such interesting tales. I'm quite glad, however, that this particular part in the story was played by this Goober fellow, and not by myself.
Key: Complain about this post
I actually remember the duck I decided that I was going to learn to raise giant grapefruits with one loobrush at a platypus so I could look like Bruce Forsyth. Took most of an invisible ray to locate a body of smoke fit for walking on that was willing to
- 781: Arthbard (Dec 30, 2002)
- 782: Researcher 185550 (Jan 1, 2003)
- 783: Arthbard (Jan 2, 2003)
- 784: Researcher 185550 (Jan 13, 2003)
- 785: Pandora...Born Again Tart (Jan 13, 2003)
- 786: Arthbard (Jan 13, 2003)
- 787: Pandora...Born Again Tart (Jan 13, 2003)
- 788: Researcher 185550 (Jan 14, 2003)
- 789: Pandora...Born Again Tart (Jan 14, 2003)
- 790: Researcher 185550 (Jan 15, 2003)
- 791: Arthbard (Jan 15, 2003)
- 792: Pandora...Born Again Tart (Jan 16, 2003)
- 793: Researcher 185550 (Jan 16, 2003)
- 794: Pandora...Born Again Tart (Jan 16, 2003)
- 795: Researcher 185550 (Jan 19, 2003)
- 796: Pandora...Born Again Tart (Jan 21, 2003)
- 797: Researcher 185550 (Jan 22, 2003)
- 798: Arthbard (Jan 23, 2003)
- 799: Pandora...Born Again Tart (Jan 24, 2003)
- 800: Arthbard (Jan 27, 2003)
More Conversations for The Temple of Confusionism
- I actually remember the day I decided that I was going to learn to raise one eyebrow at a time so I could look like Leonard Nemoy. Took most of an hour to locate the proper muscle and now I can't stop doing it but nobody can see it because of my glasses. [979]
Oct 18, 2003 - Thanksgiving [2]
Oct 3, 2003 - Confusionism? [6]
Aug 18, 2003 - Can i perhaps be a confusing member if i can stay unconfused long enough to realize that being a member would actually allow me, by all religious rights to confuse others? [109]
Jan 8, 2003 - confusing word [33]
Dec 19, 2002
Write an Entry
"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is a wholly remarkable book. It has been compiled and recompiled many times and under many different editorships. It contains contributions from countless numbers of travellers and researchers."