The Great and Wonderful Me

Ooh, this is a nifty gadget.

First off, since this wouldn't all fit in my name, I've decided to print it all here:

Arthbard Vootenoy, Professor of Cheatology, Keeper of the Bridge of Death, Founder of The Temple of Confusionism (Not to be confused with Confucianism...No actually...Go ahead. Confuse them.), currently promoting The Celebrity Game!

So, now, on with the web page:

A rose by any other name, and people would be armadillos.

I guess this is the part where I tell everyone about myself. I'm not really sure why anyone would specifically look up this page just to learn more about your's truly, but just in case there are a handful of people with way too much time on their hands who have already seen everything else the internet has to offer, here goes:

My name is Joey White, but here I tend to go by Arthbard. I look like this. That's my driver's license photo, actually. Lovely, isn't it? This, on the other hand, is what I look like wearing the Arthbard hat. It's just a prototype, but I'm sure it's going to catch on big time. Eat your heart out, Santa.

I'm an American born in the state of South Carolina, raised in the state of South Carolina, and currently living in the state of...South Carolina.

I'm a fan of the late, great Douglas Adams's Hitchhiker books and all things Python-related (That's Monty, not the snake). I'm also a fan of Terry Gilliam's post-python works and the films of Sam Raimi (Not that I have anything against snakes, mind you, I just meant that I was talking about Monty Python and not snakes). Army of Darkness is one of my all-time favorites (Actually, I'm quite fond of snakes and sincerely hope that my previous comment caused no offense to snakes and/or snake-lovers everywhere).

I have absolutely no musical talent, but I still like to listen. I'm very much into rock music. My favorite band is Nirvana. I'm also rather fond of the gloriously unusual, Primus. Advertising

As far as television is concerned, well, there don't seem to be that many good shows. I do enjoy "The Simpsons," "The X-Files," and "Mystery Science Theater 3000," but that's about it. I pride myself on having never seen a single episode of "Survivor" (Though the Chuck Palahniuk book of the same name is excellent).

As I currently lack a home internet connection, I cannot be on-line as constantly as I might like, so don't expect extraordinarily prompt replies.

I guess that's about it for now.

If you're still reading this, I pity you.

Should You, For Some Reason, Wish to Get in Touch with Arthbard

Post a conversation below. But if that isn't good enough for you, try one of the following methods.

Yahoo Messenger: arthbard

AIM: arthbard

MSN: [email protected]1

ICQ: 140518831

email: [email protected]


Looking for a cause to help? Here's a good one. Learn about FPIL and help spread the molp.

The Celebrity Game!

Yes, that's right, The Celebrity Game! is up and running here on H2G2. Desperately want to play? Slightly interested in playing? Don't know what the hell The Celebrity Game! is or why I keep putting exclamation marks in the middle of sentences? If any of these apply to you (or even if they don't) pop right on over to The Celebrity Game!. Much fun will be had by all...Or else.

The Conversation Killer

I am currently collaborating with Roadkill in an attempt to discover the ultimate conversation killer. Find out how you can kill your own conversations at The Page about the Conversation Killer Stuff.

The Temple of Confusionism

I am the founder of the Temple of Confusionism. If you would like to found your own temple, you may do so at The Avenue of Small Gods. Also, cornspepiabaggledoosh.

Abraham Lincoln

What would you pay to see a series of smilies based on the life of America's greatest president? $29.99? $59.99? $99999999999.99? Well, for a limited time, you can get these amazing images for the low, low price of nothing dollars and nothing cents. That's right, with our special offer, you can not only get four smilies based on the life of Abraham, but also four bonus smilies based on things that Abraham Lincoln never did. And for all this, you pay only nothing dollars and nothing cents. What a deal!

Operators are standing by. Click within the next five minutes to get absolutely nothing.

The Royal h2g2 Procrastinators Society

Procrastinate...tomorrow!Broken ImageWrite short description and fix pic.

The University of Mice

I am the Professor or Cheatology at the prestigious University of Mice. If I can do it, you can, too! Make the world a better place (or not)...Join the University of Mice, today!


I am The Keeper of the Bridge of Death. If you have something that you would like to keep, check out The Keeper Page.

Future H2G2 projects

For some time, I've been hoping to write an entry on the Evil Dead movies. Unfortunately, I've yet to get around to it and probably won't for some time.

My Super Cool Quiz Links


A New Day in the Quiz that Is

Button created by U65771 and slightly modified for The Quiz that Is. See Greebo's other buttons here.

Life is Full of Unanswered Questions

You'll find quite a lot of them here:

Questions Only

Questions Only II: The Sequel

  _  __  _
 / /|_ \\ \ 
/ /  / / \ \ 
\ \  |_| / /
 \_\ (_)/_/

Time Zones are Kinda Confusin'...

...But you may find these links helpful.



By the way...

Check out The Noticeboard. It's a fine place to go if you want to promote something or see what everyone else is promoting.

Hey! Arthbard Has a Website

Unfortunately, the server isn't so great, causing my page to be hidden multiple occasions. I'm currently looking for a new server to host it on. If anyone knows of a good, free hosting service that allows PHP scripts, I'd be glad to hear about it.

Update: My site is now residing on a new server. As I haven't been using it for very long, I'm not sure of its reliability, so this address could change at anytime in the near future. For the meantime, though, you can get to the site at

1Ha. Bet ya' thought I was gonna say arthbard. smiley - nahnah


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