h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

...t'wasn't long ago a gentil`e-man would lay 'is coat over a puddle sos a lady wouldn't get her dainty like, feet, wet... I think it only right that we give chivelary a right proper buriel

My blood's clean!!! I've had a clean bill of health with regard to my blood for the past twelve years! Couldn't someone just have a yard boy come in with a wheel-barrow & pluck sea & myself from this rubble? A ride...a tote...SOMETHING!!!! ...*sits carefully picking the glass out of her feet and hands...*
Did I mention a REWARD for the safe rescue of sea and myself?
Dead Presidents, gold pieces of eight, diamonds, rubies, fireants...whatever method of payment one might like! For the love of the mother of the devil-at the veryleast help sea!

* wonders if all dates with Bassman would be like this one *

...*being able to rewad minds...Pandora looks at light...*
No Hon! But I certainly feel your pain!!!!

erm, excuse me? Hey, hello, um....

*swallows vodka in one gulp, wipes mouth with back of hand*

EXCUSE ME!!! Can I help at all???

Ah Risely! there you are you ugly little layabout.

Help those two ladies out of the wreckage would you, there's a good chap.
Nicely done. Now get on this stage and find me my breeches!!

*returns trousers to their rightful place and runs tearful from the room*

*Still waiting to be untied and clothed*

*starts to pick her way through the rubble with a wheelchair to rescue Pan and Sea but gets 'distracted' looking at Apollo and decides to rescue him instead*
Be there in a flash, Boo!

*Prays that a rescue is really what she has in mind *

*wonders what happened to his Golden Thong*

Never mind, Risely. Unkkers has done the service for you, you old slowcoach.

Just get the divan started up and I'll be out in a jiffy.

*the door to the ladies powderoom quietly opens and a naked Red Dog creeps out .... his modesty protected by a large indoor pot plant borrowed by necessity*

*he creeps quietly out of the hall almost unnoticed by everyone and disappears into the night to F75930?thread=141736&post=1816931#p1816931*

* Bassman appears at the door to the ballroom, red carpet rolled up over his shoulder *

I hope this will be of some use to you ladies.

* Flings carpet across dance floor, which stops just short of Pandora *

Hold on a moment Light, I've got to assist these two damsels in distress.....

* Strolls out across red carpet, offers the crook of each arm to Pandora and Sea *



Bassman

*takes bassman's arm*

owww.... my bum....

pandora, you all right?

*STILL tied up*

* holds on *

*wonders what to ?*

* wonders what to too.

*quickly stuffs a bit of golden cloth deeper into her pocket* What was that, Apollo? Oh don't mind that.. just my hankie..

*while wondering what LH Girl was holding on to, catches a glint of gold going into Batty's pocket*

HEY!! Handkerchief my... well, not that you don't have a wonderful view of it right now anyway
You just wait until I get untied from this pole, little lady... *struggles amusingly*

ooh.. what am I waiting for? A fresh drink? Pizza delivery? The autumnal equinox? What???