h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Dash it all.

Well Mine's a



Bassers

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

A lot of dust on this floor.

It should scrub up well though.

With Valentines Day 2006 coming up soon this might be the last chance for a homicidal, bigoted, warmongerer like me to get a leg over.

Sorry, not "leg over" I meant a "knees up".

Its time for the Chaps Club Valentines Day Ball!!!!!!

Hoorah!!

Anyone for a tango??

Well no offense, old Busters... but I'll not doin' the tango with you tonight. I'm keeping the lookout for one of them young fillies what used to show up at our balls...

*guffaw*

Oh, I do incite myself sometimes...

*lifts head*

I guess, seeing as how I've been lying here amidst this broken glass for almost 4 years now, I'd better get up.

*drags sorry self to feet*

What's this? Sea, my dear, it's been ages!! C'mon now and get up, quit foolin' around there under the glass...haven't you heard the news? Now that all the hub-bub has died down, old Busterbone is starting up round 2 of the Chaps Club Valentine's Day Ball!

And if history is any indication, we may not recover from this one until 2012...rivals the old Masquerades my granddaddy used to tell me about in Tonga, where some children who were born at the party didn't see the light of day until they were 20!

Now, get on and get dressed already...can't have you look like THAT, at least not at the kickoff

*walks in before the kickoff, looking nice, with a dash of 'Screw with me and I will kick your ass, gentalman or not.'*

*begins unloading the crates of chocolate covered fruit ordered for this year's ball*

Ah yes, this'll be one fer the books, I'll wager...

Hey! You o'er there!
*points to Hot Spot Staffer*
I thought I told you to git the rust off that pole! Blasted... can't find any help worth it's weight in donkey dung around here.. well get on with it! The gels'll be here soon, and they'll expect this place to be spotless!!

Now, where'd that barrel of whiskey get off to?

*starts powdering her nose and pondering her dress for the ball*

*sea, looking precisely as though she's spent 4 years lying covered in Pepsi and broken glass, leaves to clean up*

*returns shortly afterward in jeans and a t-shirt, carrying a broom, mop and bucket*

*she proceeds to clean up the floor and mop*

*incidentally, her t-shirt has a falling bowl of petunias on it with the caption, "Oh no, not again..."*

I say - what's that....

If yer going to be working in the Chap's Club, you've got to at least be wearing a tabbard - or prefferably a maids uniform.

You just CAN'T get the staff these days.... Huuuuuurrrrruuuummmmpppphhhh



Bassers.

I say Chaps - does this mean I've got to polish up the walking stick and medals?



Squabbling Bleeder Bassman K.F.S. D.F.C. and Bar

*takes off top hat, showing his wolf ears, looking like he is possibly waiting for his date*

Bassers, ol chum, you'll be needin' to polish up more than your walking stick if we get a repeat of the '02 "Entire Montgomery", if you get my drift

*opens a crate to find the long-lost MacLurchers*

Oh, the ball's legit now, gentlemen...

You know, I don't know if I ever recovered from the Entire Motgomery.... I caught a bit of a chill and my lumbago plays up every February 14th don't-yer-know!!



Squabbling Bleeder Bassman K.F.S. D.F.C. and Bar

Absolutely spiffing!!!

I have manages to procure a few fireworks from the young wallahs in Munitions and Armaments.

Nothing more amusing then dropping a few double bungers on an unsuspecting servant johnny, wot!

Anybody got a match???

Busters, man, what the dickens did you say? I caught the bit about the fireworks, but who in blue blazes is Johnny and what's wrong with his bungers?

I think one of us has had too much to drink already, and it wasn't 5 minutes ago I found the MacLurchers...

*just about done cleaning up the floor*

*the sections that are finished are now very shiny and pretty*

*admires the shiny places*

*straightens his authentic CHAPS-brand toga as the aura of Valentine's Day takes over*

Fantastic work, my dear! And to think I expected nothin' but bickering from you gels regarding the state of things 'round the place. Terribly sorry that I can't pay you for your work...though we might come to terms on other methods of, shall we say, compensation?

S'pose that's a "no". Well, can't blame a chap for tryin', wot!

*adjusts his cummerbund*

Harumph!