h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Hides behind a large crate and grows new ribs in a very painful fashion*

*finds a handy fork lift truck and lifts the crate ferret is hiding behind, drives forward a foot and brings the crate down on Ferrets head. jumps out of the forklift and wraps the crate in brown postal paper and sends BF to Outer Dubai*

send me a postcard!

Now do i want to go to Outer Dubai... alcohol is illegal over there!

*clicks his fingers, and reappears behind CCC with a giant metal postcard. Hits CCC with the postcard*

Outer Dubai? Is that any where near Outer Mongolia? Or Outer Space?

ow!

*wraps BF up in the metal postcard and rolls him down the ramp in the warehouse*

Deakie, it's the outskirts of Dubai, honest.



i'd never lie!

look, deaks your Scottishness is rubbing off on me!

*tosses the BF-wrapped-in-a-metal-postcard caber*

*inflate one of his hellium filled lemmings to force open the metal-postcard roll, allowing BF to slide out the bottom*

All I know is in that area of the world it's difficult to get a good pint of !

*pokes CCC in the eye with a pointed stick*

Nah, you're all right for in Dubai! It a huge holiday resort now! The whole of the UAE is a wet state. Its next door Saudi thats the problem!!! My sister used to distill her own home made gin when she lived in Saudi!

*chucks some B&H in Duck's direction*

*the pointy stick bounces off my chromecoveredeyelids and is blunted*

oh, pointy sticks is it? eh?

*draws a sword and plunges it into the floor, creating a crack that goes under BF's feet, the ground opens up beneath him to reveal large point stakes*

watch you step, Ferret!

Being a ferret, i am supprisingly agile!

*shoots a large bolt of lightning at CCC's sword, the current runs up into CCC, melting the covering Chrome*

*Ferret follows this up by pushing CCC into the chasm filled with pointed stakes*

*presses the remote control to retract the stakes and pillows appear. after a nice soft landing CCC regrows his chromecovering and takes a godly leap out of the hole*

you'll have to do better than that.

*puts a drawing pin on BF's chair when he isn't looking*

*Deakie has a "secret" delivery coming in in the next couple of days and needs to hurry this up so those two will get out of her DESERTED warehouse*

*hovers -like over his chair, having spotted the drawing pin*



*Stamps three times, summoning a storm to rust CCC*

Hey, Deaks, I was here before you!

Ah, but I'm a secret smuggler and I was here first, but you just didn't see me cos I was hiding!

*radios Mario the Mafioso Penguin and tells him to delay the delivery*

luckily for me i bathed in Ronseal Chromecoveredclone Anti-Rust before i left.

it does exactly what it says on the tin!

*calls forth a pack of foxes to eat the ferret*

you buggas get everywhere

pssst, nik, wanna come in on a shady deal?

*notices that we may get everywhere, but Nik always seems to find us*

*catches the B&H*

cheers Deaks

*sparks up*

mmmm lovely

Foxes

*runs around in circles so quickly that the warehouse floor starts to burn, trapping CCC and BF in a ring of fire, leaving the foxes outside*

fire doesn't frighten me!

i'm flame resistant as well.

*walks through the flames, grabs a fox, carries it over the flames and releases it to eat Ferret*