h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

It is a modern city, only totaly abandoned. There are cars, dumpsters, pipes trash cans, bakery shops and what not. Here people can do battle, but no frigin guns, Oi?

*His Divine Shadow, Brother of Eru, father of Gil-Galad, god of Light and Dark, stands in his customery battle kilt with black shirt, awaiting the arival of his adversery.*

*a blue, sparkly mist seeps in fro around several corners of derelict apartment blocks, and gathers in the middle of the road, coalescing into a vaguely human shape*

*it solidifies to produce SM, a slight bluish tint shining on her skin, her eyes pure blue without the whites, and wearing snug combat gear. She grins, and a cupboard door appears next to her*

*she reaches in, and picks out a green lightsaber, flicking it on and saluting her adversary*

This be the cupboard: <./>A762987</.>

Hiya!

*Suddenly, HDS's war appears in his hands and he flickers it about in the air for a bit, then stops. About twenty Chocolaty cream war pies apear in the air around him and all suddenly fly at SM. with great speed.*

*as the pies get close SM desolidifies into mist and they pass harmlessly through her*

Dear dear... you're gonna have to do better than that

*The war suddenly turns into a vacume cleaner. HDS starts vacuming the desolidified mist of SM into an airtight container*

Darnit

*the mist gains an incredibly sharp edge, and begins to cut through the container*

rats

*Stamps his foot down hard on the edge of a manhole cover. The disk of steal flips into the air and HDS tosses the vacume cleaner down into the sewer, just before the manhole cover lands and covers up the sewer hole again*

*pulls her customary multiple threads at once bit, and chooses a nice ledge overlooking the seemingly main battle field. Out comes the mortal man servants all shirtless, with camo pants and combat boots carrying the bombshell happily to her perch to watch the battle.*

* I do hope my dear adversery hasn't decided to quite*

...there is a five day rule, so she'll be forfitting if she isn't back within the next three days. But I think she'll be back soon, she usually is.

Goody gumdrops!

I'm sorry, my boyfriend was over as it was my birthday. I didn't get a chance to tell you

*blue mist begins to seep around the manhole cover, but instead of gaining shape, it moves along the ground and around HDS's feet*

*and then abruptly hardens*

Its

Dangit

*Hobbles over to an abandoned jack hammer, places it between his feet and uses it to chizzle most of the hardened mist off, knocks the rest off with a hammer an chizzle and then sweeps the myst rubble into a dust pan from a nearby movie theater and dumps it in a dumpster*

*a muttered curse from the dumpster can be heard*

*a cupboard door opens in a nearby wall*

*SM stalks out, lightsabre ignited and with a now distinctive aroma. She's at least managed to sort her hair out though*

Grr

*aims an overhead swipe at him*

*HDS draws his own saber and iginites it, the color shifts from dark blues to lightblues, and then to grays and then to black and then back to dark blue.*

*HDS parries the blow aside and swings at SM's midsection. While swinging, HDS grabs a nearby Barney plush toy with the Force and sends it flying at SM's face*

*parries his blow but panicks a the soft toy*

Argh! How on earth did you know of my childhood fear of Barney?

*neatly decapitates the toy*

Mwah-ha-ha-hah!

*Snaps his figners and they are surounded my man sized Barneys, singing and dnacing and holding hands and being merry little purple dinasoaurs*


*Thrusts at SM with his prysmatic lightsaber*

*screams. This sets jets of blue, sparkling light straight out from her in all directions, hitting the Barneys squarely in the face and knocking them backwards temporarily. Of course, this weakens her a bit*

Coo

*goes to thwap his lightsabre out of the way but instead falls backwards*

*The Barney's recover and dog pile on SM, channeling all of their Barney love at her*

*as they land on her, she struggles, thrashing around, trying to get out*

*suddenly stops panicking*

Erm, hang on...

*suddenly returns into blue mist, causing the Barneys to fall into the sudden space... which happens to contain the manhole, strangely lidless*

*SM reforms and grins smugly as she knocks the last few Barneys into the sewer*