h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

A typically and probably very clichéd deserted warehouse.

It's deserted, and it is a warehouse for storing wares. It's, erm, very empty, and, erm, it's meant to be storing stuff but isn't at this particular moment in time...

One could say that it's a deserted warehouse.

*Caper Plip enters the warehouse and looks around.*

It's a bit deserted, isn't it?

*Starts knocking up up against the wall.*

*Caper Plip vanishes in a puff of chalk, having found her calling in Dead Space.*

Anyone there??? [Careful not to tread in any mouse droppings!]
Is it possible to have a fight with the reining champion, yet only gaining one point instead of becoming the new champion?

*Caper Plip appears in a puff of chalk.*

Well, it says that you can only challenge the champion when you have 3 wins... I suppose we could battle for a friendly match, but I don't think it'd count towards the win score... I battled and won against Mystrunner but I didn't get a point for it... but I'm the champion, so what would I know?

That be fighting talk that be!

[Closes his eyes, calming the maelstrom of his mind], his body moves fluidly into a defensive stance...]

So, is this a friendly then? I don't want to waste your time, you see...

If they be your terms, then I expect... [creates a casket to surround CP [hope that's OK ] which is then filled with water... CP then wrinkles up like a prune]

Release the Stonkey: the prune loving beast!
mwahahahahaha

Considering the fact that I haven't accepted any challenge, that's a little unfair, don't you think?

*Caper Plip pulls out a bottle of barley water and rehydrates herself. Everything that happened in the past 5 minutes vanishes.*

Right, now here's the proper protocol. I accept your challenge.

Players are ready. Ready to play. Play.

My apologies....'master'
PLay ahead.... I await your move...

Master? Blimey, get into the today, mate!

*Caper Plip vanishes and reappears in her tennis training kit. She waves her magic tennis racquet and the warehouse is illuminated with movable floodlights, leaving no shadow unturned...*

Very clever... but unfortunately there was one corner which was conveniently neglected in your lights... a corner...forgotten if you will: from which appears a Balrog: an ancient creature older than you or I, created of shadow and flame...which slowly approaches Caper

*Caper Plip waves her tennis racquet and a zimmer frame appears in front of her. Looking at the Balrog with a sympathetic smile, she gives the elderly incarnation the walking aid.*

Awww... the poor dear...

*The Balrog, surprised at the gift, clutches on to the zimmer frame and trundles off to its home in Moria, Middle-Earth, in total happiness and thanks to Caper Plip as it is no longer on the NHS waiting list for zimmer frames.*

I see that I have much to learn....waits patiently for CP to make her move....defensively

Actually, I think it's your move... I play the Back and Forth Rule... unless you play differently?

I don't play that structured, because then you're always on the defensive and I'm always attacking.... but anyways!

[FwT grabs all the rubbish from the tip of his local town, and throws it all at CP] that'll do?

Good good!

*Caper Plip dives out of the way Lleyton Hewitt-style, and a barrage of 'Keep Britain Tidy' protesters swarm into the Warehouse and start mobbing FwT, complete with placards.*

FwT dissolves the rubbish in the blink of an eye, and in it's place is a small model of 'Tracy Island', Blue Peter stylee. The protesters are agasp at my creative prowess, and are so abashed that they might have torn me limb from limb, that they leave with their tales between their legs.

And I did it with only the aid of a smmaaalll aubergine.
FwT

*Caper Plip pulls out a squeezy washing-up liquid bottle and juggles it thoughtfully.*

Here's one I made earlier!

*She brings out another model of Tracy Island. Suddenly, Thunderbird 2 launches from its pad, shoots towards FwT and drops a collection of badly-flipped pancakes square on top of FwT.*

How rude!! [they are so badly flipped that they fall several feet short]

[pulls out several pieces of junk, all of which have the manufacturer's name artfully blacked out, in such a way that you can tell exactly what it is...] My hands are a whir of activity... creating Dollie's [with a doll that is suspiciously like a 'Barbara' doll ] very own torture chamber... something for you I think: starts to attach CP to the various items in the room...