h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*steps down gingerly off the slab in the 12 inch killer heels, and slowly checks out the new contrapumalations and ammaditions..nods head slowly as a big smile crosses her face...not sure about the 8 arms, then finds a lever that 'dissappears' them when not needed.... flicks em out again to give the doc one of her extra-special-can-you-breathe-in-there-luvvie bear hugs with all 8....

at the same time her eye and mind keep coming back to the button marked x.

looks a hnicky...
looks at button..
looks at doc
looks at dai, who seems to be fiddling quite obviously, and wonders briefly does he know he's on tv in Norway..

looks at button again...

looks at doc again.....then thinking back, she frowns and slaps him ..across the face, ......---8 times obviously----*

Thanks for the embelishments doc...
the slaps are for your comment bout the footie.
i know the offside rule inside out, backwards and probably better than you do... so there...huh....don't make me mad..you know how i am when i'm mad on a kipper anaesthesia hangover.....


*back to lookin at button... holds finger over button with a connery type eyebrow lift and a look at the doc's reaction.....he's backing away, he's backing away.....'hmmmmmmmm perhaps we'll save that little treat till later'...*

c'mon hnicky baby. up on the slab..your turn

ok but only if it will get rid of this flu

oh even i know how to do that honeybunny

*teeters over to the shelf in the 12 inch stillettos, cos she needs the height to get the big jar down, which contains blue slime with luminous orange eyeball sized......ehhhh. well, eyeballs if i'm honest, but don't tell hnicky that*...


Now...one of these every 20 minutes.. doc gave me these when i was laid up...... feck...not sure if i even had a cold now that i think of it... but they were marvellous, and i'm sure they're good for flu...

oh yes, oh yes, they're yummy.... full of vitamin c and all that nonsense....

ok i dont think ill be taking them, this is me who wont even take night nurse.

didnt hear you complain about that nurse you had last night !! hangin round the damp garden at the back of shrubberys is what has you in this state missy

im sorry!

"Comes ouit of his state of fiddling, realises he's miised the last 3 hours of his life and briefly recaps on the situation. Admires the embellishments of the divine IB, the button marked x attracts his attention but he thinks better of it, he is tempted to see what happens if he pushes it but knows full well what happened the last time he fiddled with IB's button! "

Come on HN, up on the slab flower, don't worry everything will be OK, the Docs just popped out for a fag but when he gets back I'm sure you'll be sorted no problem.

Still nervous? tell you what I know the very thing to sort that out, just lie back and relax, it's just a little prick!

Ahh, there you are hnicky - sorry I am late, just been round the back feeding Petra Stringfellows Amazing Armoured Synchronised Lap Dancing Troupe their weekly ration of Bush Tucker.

Didnt realise they had been chained up like that all this time - must say though that chains do suit them...........

Anyhoo - a small cold is it? Hmmmmmmmm - I think we need the Rubber gloves for that, or maybe a couple of Asprin?

Tell you what - look over there........

*The Doc lines up his best Night Nurse Intensive Care Custard Pie*

Now look back here please................

SPLAT

Now, take two of those a day and if it doesnt get better, then I have something FAR worse..............

do i have to?


ok but im protesting at the same time

snigger

Yes, you do.

SPLAT

There you go - thats todays course over and done with. Now we can all get back to high jinks, thrills and spills and the occasional car chase!

"Is seriously disappoited in the ineffectiveness of his little prick, goes off for a quick fiddle with the Doc's equipment and rectifys the situation"

SORTED!

"Takes IB into the cupboard to test drive the latest enhancements making sure to block up the secret cameras to the Norwegian pay per phew"

"Comes out of the cupboard looking satisfied smoking a roll up with a curious herbal smell, and ready for the next turn of events"

*not sure if she is more jealous about dai or IB*

*Sneaks up behind hnicky and quietly injects a substance into her arm*

OUCH!

There you go! No need to be jealous of Dai anymore with the Docs world famous pick me up - leaves the Herbal standing this does!

*hnickys eyes go all glazed and a silly smile ensues*

Now, this could go one of two ways - you will feel great and have a ball, or the makers of Tizer will do me in court for injecting you with it.........

*Looks to the door for the possible arrival of lawyers on behalf on Tizer Inc*

Dont know whether its a result of the aforementioned herbal roll up, road testing IB's latest enhancements or in sympathy with HN's glazed and silly smile but suddendly gets overcome with the munchies and wanders into the supply cupboard for something to nibble on"

Giggle, snigger, ooo alloo giggle IB, what u doing in the supply cupboard, Im just looking for something to nibble on......

Its Christmas Time labbites! Time of year to look back, warm your cockles and think about the annual Lab Rat reunion partay.

It is time to issue forth, round up all those who have contributed to the Lab Madness and bring them all back in for and some Ha Cha Cha, Hotsie Totsie.

Where is Nurse Just Arrived? Sir Nanobot, our faithfull cleaner? Where is Evil Assasin, my gorgeous online wifey? Where is Sweetpea and the cast of thousands that have walked by?

I say - lets go nuts for Christmas - Calling all Labbites, where ever you are - drop back in, say hi and have your Pizza re-nailed to your head for old times sake!

ive not been a year yet, do ou do i every year?

You bet your sweet bippy we do you sweet thang, you!

Best party frock on, slashed to the waist and a bottle of vodka in your hand while we slice up people as they arrive - and thats just me........!

thats sounds great!
*gets changed into her best mrs claus outfit, flashing her rather nice sunflower tattoo on her breast*

*pulls out a bottle of vodka*

*turns the music on to get the party going*