h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

CLEAN the cupboard! Oh yes.........erm right! Lead on!

*giggles*

what did you have in mind doc ?

Well, ermmm.............no no no, cleaning is good, feather dusters and all that....erm..........got a French Maid outfit handy just so we clean it properly?

"Opens a fetid eylid to see a rose coloured lab complete with slab, zombie doc with bits falling off and HN in ridiculously tight nurses uniform, well the Doc's version of a nurses uniform and thats amnother story"

Good god I doze off for a minute and look what's happened.

Doc, was it all just a dream, and why the hell is the cupboard over there beside that attractive lady sucking soup? Is soup sucking illegal yet?

"Stands up , stretches parps and redoes long john flap"

oooh hello dai.

the lab is back.

that lady over there sucked up all the soup.

BRIGHT LIGHTS FLASH in the corner over by the slab....

Aye be stands there, looking.. ehh. too big in places, for her wonderwoman outfit....still.. it's a dramatic entrance..

The doc stops and looks thoughtfully at his creation....before saying..........................

before saying.........

Two spoons please. Yes, a little cream in my coffee as well. Stirred anticlockwise. Thankyou!

Well! Who would have thought!

KEEEEERRRRRRRRRRBLAMOOOOOOOOOOOOO

*Suddenly, a young girl in gingham pinafore dress, a Scarecrow, a Tinman and a Lion suddenly enter the Lab through an interdimensional vortex*

Is this Kansas? Whines the little girl

You ain't in Kansa anymore Missey, but pull up a cupboard and tell us what we can do to help.

"walks accross lab in a cavalier fashion, thinks thats maybe a bit out of date so walks in a vectra fashion instead slips on a pile of dog poop and goes a*se over tit into the wall"

CRAP! Who brought a dog in here!

Dog?

*Looks up from the bloodstained slab*

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh, it was a dog! Sorry - thought it was a rat I could experiment on.........still. No harm done! I can fix him......her...eerrmmmm it up in no time!

*meanwhile nicky has been cleaning the cupboard by herself*



*she steps out of it*


well lads thats all clean and tidy now, which one of you 2 wants to inspect it ?

Oh no doc not another mad scientifical I can rebuild it bettr, stronger and faster than it was before experiment please!

"Sees tears running down the little girls face and softens slightly (Not one oooerr from anyone this is a touching moment) Blinks back a tear (oh yeah and any coments on the touching moment bit and Im getting the mods in)"

Ok Doc, go for it, if you need a hand I'll be over here inspecting HN handiwork

*nicky allows dai to lead the way into the cupboard*

*he realises it is dark inside, he turns around to see if there is a light switch*

*he just catches nicky in the light of the door swinging a pair of furry handcuffs before closing the door, pitching them both into total darkness*

"The door bursts open briefly, Dai his face red with exertion pants deeply"

Doc, if you've got a minute can you check me a toch, a self recipricating fange bracket and some furry hand cuff exfoliating cream please?

A torch would be good to!

"

*suddlenly his face disappears as he is pulled back in from behind*

"Wonders what the hell is in his face thats furry"

*While the cupboard rocks and rolls, the Feindish doc amupates, cross polinates, castrates and finally sedates the ........ermmm......"Experiment*

Think I possibly should have sedated first! no matter - pain makes you feel soooooooo ALIVE!!

*Slowly rising from the lab slab is the latest creation - part dog, part blender, part margerine and part semtex (Well, thats all I had lying about) the "Thing" looks around - sees Dorothy and bounds over to her leaving margerine stains on the floor behind it, woofing joyously*

Ohh Dai? I have rebuilt the little thing - just one warning though - it IS part semtex, so just done go standing in its poop again, OK?

*nicky wonders out of the cupboard pulling down her french maid outfit slightly and revealing her cleavage*

dai will be out shortly. he cant take the pace like he used to!

*nicky purches on the edge of the slab, crosses her legs, giving the doctor a flash of her lacy underwear as she does*

*sits crosslegged on the end of the slab, swinging one foot thoughtfully and filing nails, whilst watching doc do his thang on the ......ehh. rat....looks like a rat... *
proper dogs are up to ur thighs at least...anything else is only an excuse for a dog *looks at dorothy to see if she gets any response, but she's too busy lookin horrified at toto's 'improvements'*

hey doc..any improvements u can nail onto me, feel free..i'm getting a little tired of these boyancy aids. unless u can make my arms longer or like elastigirl's they have rendered me practically useless for all manner of daily tasks..
and hey...did i say you look smashin in ur new lab coat? *beams him a colgate-like smile and bats eyelashes*

"Emerges from the cupbooard having heard Hn's comment about him not being able to handle things the way he used to, snickers to himself knowing it's all part of his cunning plan as he was saving himself for later"

Aww Doc look at the little fellah (zips up long johns realising Doc is looking at the wrong fellah) hes just so cute.

Come here boy, come on, awww look he wants to play, good boy , good... Oi stop that, OI!!! FFS cut that out that aint natural!

DOc just what the hell did you do to this little sod and look at teh state of my leg!

"Notices Aye Bee for the first time"

Ooooh hallo flower, fancy a Belgian Truffle, I have some arround here somewhere.....