h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

" Dai is amazed at the dexterity of NJA"

*NJA swivels and jiggles and slides_______________towards Dai and whacks him over the head with a frozen kipper*


*husky voiced and purring*

Sleep darling

*lurks in shadows*

*sups *

*looks confused and decides to dance instead of think....

"Looks bemused at a swiveling and jiggling NJA, the frozen kipper has not worked and he finds if he leans his head just to one side he can see exactly why IB is called IB"

*stops dancing, choosing to bite his toenails instead...

" Is getting bored strapped to the slab despite a Jiggling NJA and a prone IB on the slab beside him, accepts a from Count Jim and a piece of , observes the toe nail biting antics of Rock Chill and begins licking his eyebrows out of sheer boredom"

*grins over at dai 'the one' the death and realises now why he grows them eyebrows so long... so he can lick them......hmmmmmmmmmmmm...but why?.....confused again, she looks beseeechingly over at Rocky to see can he be persuaded to untie her.....raises one eyebrow in that 'you can have anything you want if you do' kind of way..*

rocky...baby?
there's cake in the cake tin with your name on it.....chocolate biscuit cake... it's all yours... just get these straps off me they're rubbin off me fake tan..
pleeeeez hunybuny?
i'll dance with you all night... doc has some wierd plan for me and i just cant stomach another anchovy pizza....i hate fish.

*unstraps IB, due to boredom, nails anchovy pizza to own head*

*decides to mess around with the genetic resequencer, pretending it's a gun...*

"Screams loudly and in a fit of anticipation of IB's chocolate biscuit cake snaps the straps on the slab, leaps in the air and does a slow mo twirl, legs akimbo and leather trench coat flowing round him"

OK IB, wheres that cake tin?

not tellin.. what do you mean why they call me IB...tell me or i eat it all meself

*shot from resequencer hit cake tin, unfortunately, it is transformed into a small dog which for the moment is inside out*

ooops!
*shoots again, hits mess, transforms it into a goldfish in a fetching purple aquarium.*

Ah well IB from my position on the slab I could not help noticing the "Made in Ireland" tattooo on your inner thigh, that and the fact your blonde was all I needed to deduce the fact!

" Hopes to hell she settles for that, sees what CJ has done, screams in anguish, pulls small portable battery powered loud hailer from muti pocketed utility belt (yes folks we still have those) and slowly raises it to his lips"

'Click, fffft' Count Jim 'Thighs' fatanggg moriarty, king of sit in the room club, leader of all things goonery and keeper of round things, this is Dai, now no one wants anyone to get hurt, but I have a crack troop of Peter Stingfellows sintilating pole dancers waiting in the wings and a loaded IB trained on you, so slllllooowwwwlllly, put the resequencer down, step back from it and place your hands behind your head!

"A distraught IB is clutching the fetching purple acquariam, and crying 'Nooooooooooooo. it was freshly made this morning, its to young to Dai!"

*eyes flashing and at the same time wondering if her nurses outfit really is too short, because of the proximity of aforementioned tattoo...hmmmmmm, still not convinced that dai'de one'de dett is being completely honest with her....she still fluffs her hair up, gently replaces the aquarium, cos fish really don't do it for her, and, taking rocky by the hand, they go to the cupboard to make more chocolate biscuit cake......for themselves....not for sharing..*

*looks up from his table in the shadows where he has been sitting for the past week, where he has been *ADMIRING* the beautious IB, and playing 436 games of solitare*

Hello again all...

*comes back from a week off feling refreshed untill she saw the blog!*
hello all did you miss me?

"Dai is full of questions for Hnicky"

Yes we missed you flower, the cupboards not been the same without you but tell me, who's refreshed?

*wish i knew the smiley code for eyes rolling*
im refreshed, from being away from uni for a while, loads of questions for me? bless i never get anything

*pokes out his head out of the cupboard... feeling a little more generous..*

anyone for chocolate biscuit cake?

Oh, hey phil baby.. (rushes back in to the cupboard, checks hair and makeup, takes off apron... back out to the lab with flourish, all smiles...forgetting that she huffed off 10 minutes before)

didn't see you there... you need anything (batting eyelashes)

Hey h'nicky babe... chocolate biscuit cake ...it's what you need.. and....then

"Puts on theme to 'The Crying Game' after IB's last statement, thinks back to previous encounters and is sure it's just a slip of the of the tongue"

? Gimme, gimme gimme