h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hmmm, darkened lab? dry ice machine churning away? IB with a runk clasped in her ample bosum and a dancing doc who has said nothing in ages? Methinks the plot has really twisted on this one folks!

"Goes over to the wall, opens cupboard (empty fro a change) flicks trip switch to restore the lekky"

Click!

" The lab is bathed in brilliant light, the walls are covered in thousands of tv screens showing different images"

Oh crap here we go again.....

OH GOOD GOD NO......not the tellies...no..

*removes poor Rocky with a loud THHWWWWOOPPPP sound...was time he started breathing again anyways... and runs screaming for the cupboard, emerges 2 and a half seconds later with rocket pack on, runs up steps and takes off into the night with a loud whoooooooosh...*

Hmmmm, I forgot she ain't seent eh Matrix, must explain it to her sometime!

"Dai looks to the skys. IB a mere dot in the blue with her whooshing jet trail behind her, thinks he must remind her that a jet pack and a short skirt is not the way to go! Suddendly he notices a strange man in a green suit with a white beard sitting in a chair in the centre of the room looking quizzically at him"

Don't tell me, its you Doc and youve had a face lift? Why has your suit got a white beard by the way?

*gets up off the floor, wondering how he keeps getting bashed up....looks at the green man, still suffering the effects of the pill.......

Stop waving your tenticles at me, you are confusing me, who left this poodle here anyway??

*Grabs a coffee in an attempt to sober up.....

coffee? you rotten swine you,

*realises that robotic arm has mind of it's own...*

anyone? TEA anyone?

Whos "the one" who will save us???

*jumps into nearby telephone box and comes out wearing his bright red pants on the outside of his trousers.......

Whoops i didnt realise these were stained.......

*jumps back into phone box and comes out without pants......

Commando superman..........

eeeww
try not to do so many 'lunges' crap on nylon is a bugger to shift.

*goes to turn on washing machine in preparation*

"Green suited man leaps to his feet, produces a mike and a packet of detergent, all the screens show his face as he begins to speak"

Gone commando without being extra careful with your preperation? Cappy skid markS Afraid to lunge and flex? Your troubles are over with Sod Off the latest bological wonder, when that poos got to gooo then Sod Off!

" Flashes adazzling white smile to the camera, on the screens its repeated again and again to the point our heroes start to feel extremely unwell"

Oh crap.......

*everyone looks up suddenly at the sound of skidding and screeching in teh sky..... IB heads back to the lab with ferocious speed, skids to a halt, again in mid air... rocket packs are sooo cool for that.... and comes back apace, flinging herself into rocky's arms..turns on best dazzler smile and bats eyelashes fast enough to flap his fringe..*

did you say commando?...oh baby

Having been on e of those looking skywards at the sound of an unaerodynimac zzed'd IB approaching on a jet pack Dai realises it aint just RC is going commando"

Hellooooooooooooooooo Nurse!!!

*IB and RC are busy catching up and discussing undergarments when from nowhere the real Doc beams in from god knows where...leaving everyone wondering who the other doc could be, who has thankfully collapsed in a corner, all congo'd out*...they all go to stand round him and he begins to morph back into ..............good lord.....could it be?...

Soooty monater, good grief!

Whwre have you been young lady and what time do you call this to be coming home at!

"Tapps foot in a parental way and does the pigeon mouth thing guaranteed to put the fear of god into any child no matter how old they are!"

*erupts into song, trousis fall down*

*puuls trousis up, re-erupts into song*

eee heee, i got dose, wen i say i trust you i don't want to be drownded
cos i do not like that kind of game blues,
i don't like dirty tricks that go spugie splat,
they say harm can come to a young lad like
that
and i do not like explosions that blow me back
for christmas,
i do not like being wetted by nasty april
showers and i do not like being nutted by
eifel and blackpool towers, so i do not like
wetted, hitted, nutted, kicked,
i don't like that
i got dem bloobottle bloos

ooooo i know what you mean about the nutted by blackpool tower thing babe...or was it the eiffel tower..not really sure which it was...
haven't quite got the hang of me rocket backpack yet, sometimes i do have little accidents, thankfully i'm well insulated tho, so just bounce back... love the little ditty tho...and.... nice legs!

"Dai looks puzzled, for some strange reason the words "little ditty" and IB just don't seem to belong in the same paragraph"

OH crap!

"Realises he has been having a Homer moment and said that last bit out loud. IB with her flowing blond locks and zzeds a quivering lauches her self in his general direction, eyes flashing"

Aggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

both towers, it was the kind of coincidence that only happens in stories
about mad doctors and humungously large zzzeds...

*thinks, then screws up face*

something like this story innit?

i'll tell you, it was hell in there....

no, no...i think you missunderstand me...this is not dyed...all natural hinny. hence my inability to recognise the difference between la tour eifel and bleedin blackie tower..

yes dahling i have noticed a big difference with u.. has the change helped you at all?
i have that very same problem..*lifts nurses's outfit* (apparantly so, readers, ask RC, but it is a white leather one, with zzzzzzzzziiiips)
i have to admit to feeling a little.... oh...can't i say that on here? snigger..i guess not

"Having narrowly avoided a flying IB, Dai is wondering just what she is admitting to felling thats little..... Puppy? Puddie Tat? Dwarf?"