h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

How come celebration and inebriation seem to be one and the same in today's society?

Not that I'm complaining.

You're right.

This moral depravation should be spread to other more morally upright and sober societies.

What we need is a time machine, an inexhaustible supply of banana daiquiris and cocktail umbrellas and a phrase book for the local dialect of the ancient cultures we'll be visiting....

How should we determine which ones to corru...err... enlighten first.

party!

Extinguish them first, I say, then bring the literature to the attention of those calling themselves 'academics'. It'll be worth a couple of decades of migraine, at least.

Bit of a slow party... by the way isn't there supposed to be some mayhem or something going on here?

Do you allow me to refreshen your memory? Quotes: "Did Terran ever escape the acid path and the ceramic piranhas?"

What took you so long?

The acid path was easy. Anyone who has ever been in the Boardroom of evil needs basic acid training...

The ceramic piranhas however... well its not exactly comfortable sitting down these days. Still I'm here!

So who are we plotting against these days?

The mission is secret. Besides, you wouldn't understand.

What's there to understand? We pick someone to hate, we go after them. Bud-a-bing, bud-a-ba. So go on whats the juice?

Since you're so clever, why don't you tell me what's the juice.

orange and mango by the taste of it

Indeed it is orange and mango... but the question is, which heretic /put/ the orange and mango together... it can only be the work of some arch-fiend!

Yeah. Bet you half a pig that Pope Alexander VI and his cardinals concocted this. It's probably poisoned.

He lives!

Curses! How did you survive the fall?

"Curses! How did you survive the fall?"

Luckily I had packed my inflatable, organic lemon. Lemon-entry my dear Clive.

I'd never considered violating fruit before. Truly you are a practitioner of twisted hobbies.

I guess that why they call it cocktail stick.

Brings a whole new meaning to

New balls please!

Why its all part of the "'Basic Guerilla War Tactic & Cake Baking handbook' by CR Xavier" . And the cake baking part comes in handy more often than you'd think.

Although theres no mention of how to deal with Cocktail mixing Pope's and their Cardinals... that's a different book altogether : "Farm yard animals & the art of Ninja" - it's an odd book...

Suit yourself. My masterpiece doesn't need defending, it speaks for itself. I must say I'm surprised that someone read it. Most people don't read, other's who say they do, just can't read.