h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*posts*

*picks purple feather out from between teeth*

*opens fresh bag of instead, far more civilised*

*the ice-cream begins to steam a little and evaporates revealling a mouve ostrich with mattered feathers & bits of munch in his hair.*

Right to all the people who have restrained, decorated, or otherwise aided and abetteed the mutinous antics goin' on hereabout - just wait till I'm free of this super-high strength velcro home bondage kit!!!

To recieve my wrath or mercy - form an orderly queue and take a number.

Oh dear! (she says as she shivers in fear) but Warlord - I was just trying to organize a nice spork outing...and...and... sniffle... you do look so lovely in mauve...and...sniff...Tutti Fruitti is definitely your flavor! (lower lip starts quivering as she looks up at Clive with her big brown eyes) And we really only had your best interest at hearf...

*wanders in after hours of slogging through the est backlog she's read in a while*

Good grief! I wander off for a weekend and suddenly somebody's made Michele and there's a kinky punk rock bird in the kit... Clive! What on earth happened to you???

Hi folks, sorry I'm late, I've been re-twigging my broomstick out in the garage, now, have we all the ingredients & are we all ready to start?

I'll use my close combat rotator spork thingamabob(copyright)to mix and potions that are required. Plus does anyone of a new thingite underwater electrician cause he is supposeed to have joined by now

Not come across him yet, does he know anything about broomstick electrics? my heater's packed up

*furtively passes Captain Zog a black carrier bag*

You should find everything you need in there

he only does electrics underwater in their most dangerous and extreme circumstances, no dangerous bare wires or sockets with too many plugs and he won't fix it.
My recommendations for gettin a broom to work are a good run up and a clean take off.

Okay so Granny how do we de-mauve the birdie?

Be careful who you choose to twiddle with the broomstick. I had mine worked on by some no-name fixerer and now I can only go in reverse!

Right, I'm just going to get changed into my long black dress , and let my hair down, I'll be back tout suite, as soon as I've rounded up some of the girls

Don't worry Clive. This won't hurt a bit...

Are we ready?

*rips velcro open* Oooohh that was nice * fastens velcro, rips velcro open* Oooooooooooooh *fastens velcro, rips velcro open, notices small, but growing pile of feathers on the floor*

Whoops, right, load him into the washer Batty, Captain Zog, the black towel please and the black moustache & beard dye that has mysteriously vanished from a certain person's bathroom cabinet, the one marked for hippies use only I take it it's been mised al la carte?

or even mixed

There you go all those items plus a spare for everyone

grabs a spare snorkel and air tank from the Armoury - I ain't going back into that machine again without protection.


All right doctor - practise your art.

This is frighteningly like trying to put a live octopus in a net bag.



Ahhh... that's better!

Just a sec Batty, these have to go in as well

*opens washer throws in towel, dye, and various black socks she's picked up in various conversations - looks at the pile of feathers on the floor, feels guilty, sets washer to hot wash, picks up knitting, switches washer on *

Woohoo!!!! Ride 'em cowbat!!!!

*knits olive green combat vest for the poor de-feathered Clive* *plays with velcro straps*

Anyone got any bubble wrap?

waaaaaarrrrggghhh!!!wowowowowowowowwwwwwww.........