h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*falls to floor, exhausted*

*covers Amy with a blanket*

Okay, this has gone far enough. I have to say that the ostrich is in need of returning to his rightful shape, size and colour. I need to get him down to London at the end of the month without any mishaps, and a two and a half foot pink ostrich will make that difficult *rants*

*concentrates*







*concentrates a bit more*






*concentrates so hard that smoke starts appearing from her ears*








In the grim and dark interior of the kitchen, a fog is forming, a strnage light plays around the edges of the rolling clouds of weightless opaque-ness. The light is not purple, nor green, but a weird and eerie combination of the two. It is octarine, colour and source of great magic, and eris' to command. The fog and light begin to coalesce into a form that is not recognisable, but yet distinguishable as a body of power. The fog thickens and begins to take on a more definite shape, the light becomes stronger, throbbing in a rather disturbing manner. As the shape begins to become solid, it also begins to rise and float above the huddled figures of the Thingites in the kitchen. For those who dare to look, it is plain that it is their Warlord, made great by the power of light and magic, truly a flying ostrich.


*POP*

Suddenly, the concentration of eris is broken by the opening of the washing machine lid, but it is too late, the magic is out, the warlord is back, and all should fear for their sporks, as the warlord may now seek his revenge.


*thud*

Eris falls over, drained by the exertion of the day, mumbling something about possibly having needed that second cup of after all.

But when he was 2'6" he'd have been much easier to get to London. You could have packed him in a suitcase and saved on train-fares.

...and it would have been easier to fit him in the tumble drier...

*s in sleep*

hmm...

Well we're all in for it now. Once he's finally got his wits about him (after being mauved, tumbled, velcroed, tutti-fruittied, munched, popped and stretched) he'll probably do something completely hideous (yet more than likely well deserved) and order a 5:00am spork inspection!

I don't know about all of you stand-abouts, but I'm off to polish my spork

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The <> is an old Hala Hala Hala Bah-Whing family recipe for curing mauveness ... it's never been known to work but my great-great-step Aunt Maureen's cousins nephew in law swears by it ... but then again, he has Tourets syndrome which may have something to do with it ...
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The Tutti Frutti Gino Ginelli and the Redcurrant jelly were optional extras, but i figured, in for a penny, in for a pound.

was gion ginelli ever legally classed as ice cream?

No. It will never rise above the classification of frozen gubbins. If you want real ice cream, try Baileys Haagen Dazs *swoon* *drool*

nah - go for the toffe creme del luce. - heaven!

Eris - yes msn's been playin up.

Not half as good as going to baskin robins for a two scoop sundae, with vanila and choc ice cream, hot fudge sauce, whipped cream and choccie chips

frozen Cow's fluids, nasssssssty!

I've never forgiven Baskin-Robbins for dropping "Honey Bunny"...

Nope...the best is frozen vanilla custard with hot fudge sauce, toasted almonds and a dallop of caramel... or with sliced strawberries, bananas and strawberry syrup...

I'm off to the custard store! (Gee, I wonder if they're open at 8:15 in the morning???)

Ooooooh.... ice cream.... *drool*

I like to use vanilla ice-cream in my coffee instead of milk. It tastes really nice, and there are practical advantages too... I can buy a 2 litre tub of "supermarket's cheapest" for about 60p, which is less than the price of 2 litres of milk. It keeps a lot longer in the freezer than milk keeps in the 'fridge, and you need less of it to cool your coffee (about a teaspoonful per cup) so it lasts longer too.

Damn! - not a bad idea that!