h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Faintly - almost as if muffled by a thick armchair and the length of the Snug*
Er ... just getting the drinks. Be with you in a tick. Can you describe it to us?

Well it'sit's

fetch that drink quick!

*The cellar door opens very slightly. Around the corner, sliding along the floor, comes a , apparently propelled by a pool cue*
There you are. What did you say was down there?

...
?
....

Did you hear that too?

Pardon ? Did someone call my name ? Where am I ? Who am I ? What did you put into this drink Kes ? Can I have another please ? ASAP would be good thankyou !

(Off for my weekend break folks, see you Saturday,lapis)

Yes. I think another round of large s is very much in order. Some brave and kind visitor has gone to investigate the cellar. I am looking after that person's wallet, which is on the bar, so just pop the required moneys into the till. I hope nothing serious has happened! It's gone very quiet down there again. Did anything come of that sandwich I ordered?

Sandwich ? You tell me what you want Kes,I'll make it ..without hestitation..Would I see you starve ? So,we've lost a stranger down the cellar,gained a wallet,totally forgot about sandwich orders,didn't celebrate the 4th of July,and it's raining ! The drinks are great in here don't you think ? Lets have another ..Cheers Kes
(Have a fabulous week-end Lapis xxx)

How about a 4th of July sandwich? Do we have the ingredients for a Reuben?

Ermmm,now I'm so typically English Kes,I'm only making a wild guess here ok ? Rye bread ? Beef (of the corned type) ? Ermmm kind of a weird coleslaw ? A little stars and stipe flag ,on a cocktial stick for decoration ? Though, why you can't just settle for bacon,with red sauce beats me ! However,I'll gather the ingredients together,stress over whether or not they're right,indulge you...again ....you need me you know,you just haven't realised it yet !!!!!

Thanks for that much needed .Well, I think we should consider examining and retrieving that barrel of Monk's Habit.

As to what the strange noise was, I'm not sure, but I'm still a little unsettled. I think I'll come up now and follow Pink's suggestion of bacon, sausages, beans, eggs, fried bread, black pudding and even chips! That'll keep the chloresterol police on their toes.

*Rushes to the cellar door, carrying a length of rope*
Don't come out just for a moment!
*Throws one end of rope into cellar*
Tie this round the barrel, and then come out.
*Retreats to bar*
Pinky, perhaps you're right. A bacon & egg butty would do just fine. Or a monster fry-up. I'm starving. And thirsty. Never could get the hang of thirsty.

I'm hungry! I'm coming out!

Sorry! The door seems to be a bit stuck!
I'm sure that if you pushed the barrel against it, then it would open

Ok, OK,..................(lifts barrel of Monk's Habit and places it next to stubborn door..........pushes a little......and) Voila! Hello there, the door's open at last.

I think we should put this barrel behind the counter. It's very old you know. D'you think we should open it and check the contents?

Quick! Roll it over there.
*Fixes the cellar door back shut*
We'll put it up behind the bar and let it settle. Well done. What did you see down there?

Ta, well it was dusty, musty, damp and dark. I saw this barrel on the shelf and I did hear some rustling, but that COULD have been mice or rats. There was no evidence of the green mist. It's quite a big area down there and I never made it to the far wall; you know the one that separates us (I think) from the butcher's cellar next door. Oh that reminds me, today's the day we ask for his past sell by date pasties and pies, shall I go? I'm peckish.
But no Kes..........it's a bit weird down there. I'm in no great hurry to go back quickish!
How long should we let that barrel settle?

Seen Pinky today?

Last saw Pinky heading for the kitchen to contruct some fired sandwiches.
A few hours should do it.
Yes, pasties sound good.

*Pinky,feeling even more frustrated over the weird coleslaw..chopping cabbage...crying over onions* I'll make this sandwich if it kills me..and it probably will ....Sorry ,what was that you shouted Kes ? Lapis wants one too ? Can you shout up please,I can't hear a thing in here with this machine on *Pinky falls to her knees,drained * ........