h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

My pashmina on the floor Phero ? Are you serious ? Have you any idea what this means to me ? I'm getting very worried now ,this coup is stressing us out.You know what I think ? We should just run away ...Wake up the sleeping beauty/beauties in the corner before we leave ,with any luck,at least the floor will have been cleaned before we return ,the coup all up and running ,somewhere !

*Pinky glances over to the she /he /them in the corner ,and thinks ,Phero can do the wakening up bit ,I can't disturb the peace,I just can't*

They never do wake up really. It's just you and I and an empty bar.

I suppose there might be a little scrubber in one of the cupboards.

The coup need not stress you, it is gathering momentum all on it's own. (Have you seen how many posts it got today!). In the immortal words of that chap on the telly "Calm Down my dear". Talking of the telly, there might be one around here somewhere. We could go to theshopping channel and buy lots of exciting cleaning equipment. I could roll my sleeves up.

OOOOO,revealing your naked flesh to me now then Phero ,rolling sleeves up ,watching TV together ,this could be the start of something ? ermmmm Something ! We have a TV ? *Pinky feels exhilarated all of a sudden ,prospects of shopping ,all night *


I know Phero,more posts than there are sales of daily papers ,you keep them occupied with your high intelligence ,I'll just keep smiling at them all ok ? It's what I do best ..smiles

Talking of naked flesh, may I releive you of anything? Pashminas are hardly suitable for shopping channel watching. The excitement will keep you warm, plenty warm.

We're going to get comfy are we ? Ok,my boots,you can relieve me of my boots Phero,your too kind ...thankyou.

***Kneels at Pinky's feet***

***Runs hands up smooth leather boots, closes eyes and sighs quietly***

Not a problem my dear! Let me just tug away.

***Tugs away at boot which suddenly slips off, leaving P flat on back on very sticky floor***

OUCH ! Now that hurt Phero,I may have to convalesce for weeks.....

* Lies provacatively on the floor ,as she has no option ,stuck fast *

Aha, well now my lovely. I wasn't thinking surrender might come quite so quickly, but a glimpse of stocking is never shocking, and may I complement you on your pink woolly drawers. very retro.

Now, let's just get this other boot off!!

***Takes hold of Pinky's boot, runs hand up and down the smooth leather***

Hold tight my dear.

***Tugs***

(I'm getting more frightened everyday to come into this Snug Phero hahahaha)

*Pinky glides her delicate foot from the boot,so easily with Pheros help*

I'm holding on as tight as I possibly dare Phero,*places her other boot ,into Pheros,strong ,masculine hands* ...smiles

Don't be frightened my dear, I am in complete and total charge of the situation. Nothing bad will happen.

***Chuckles. Gently, but firmly removes other boot. Strkes it. Places it on bar.***

Now, dearest Pinky, I have complemented you already on your drawers. They are excellent in their way. But? With fishnet stockings.... Here let me help you get them off.

***Tugs at pink woolly drawers.***

"strokes" not strkes. Must be getting over-excited.

(I leave this thread to the VERY last Phero.A case of ,dare I ,or dare I not enter ? hahahahaha )


OOOoooo,Phero,really,honestly,I am quite capable of removing my own underwear...truly,I am,I know your trying to be helpful but OoooooOOooooooOooo *Pinky watches Phero ,carefully pull the pink woollen thread,watches it unravel..slowly .She thinks ,when the entire garment is unravelled ,she could knit a lovely cravat for Phero*

(Thing is, you leave it til last, and it comes up first on my to do list!)

***Holds out arms to form cats cradle. Patiently unwinds pink wool, until all is revealed.***

OMG Pinky, it cannot be!! Is that really a girdle? A 1950's pink playtex?? I haven't seen one of those since... well, since the 1950's!

( Thats why I'm making it second from last today,the shock won't be too great )


A girdle ? Don't they bake scones on those Phero ? Anyway ......*Pinky curls up on the sofa,watches Phero ,very closely ..wonders what he's going to do next *

Want me to help rewind the wool Phero ?

No, no, I have many in my collection of pin-ups from the fifties.

***Perplexed as to how Pinkie has unstuck herself from the floor and ended up on sofa***

I er... I... They're made of elastic things and rubber bits, and the best ones are Pink. Wool... yes, wool..

***Puzzled and baffled***

By all means, please, you just take the end and wind it up into a ball. A pink ball...

Thanks.

*Pinky has a very quick peek ,just incase Phero is actually here * (Ahhh I feel safe for a minute )

Nice on this sofa isn't it Phero,I mean considering ,it doesn't look that comfy does it ?

* Takes the pink ball and begins to wind ,slowly * Like this Phero do you mean ?

***Aha! she's falling for it. Good chance of a snog in the snug coming up!!***

That's it, keep winding Pinks. Oops, seems to be stuck, just give a little tug!

***Catches sight, out of corner of eye, of things under the "sofa" moving***

That's it Pinks, pull a bit harder (Here I come...)

(Sorry Phero,out of pure fear,I forgot ,and left this till last again .Which means of course,you get it first ,sorry )

I'm pulling as hard as I possibly can Phero,I am a girl you know,I have weak wrists ! Did you feel something then ? Like the earth moving or something ? I did .......

Well, I (***struggles to remember***) generally have that effect on beauteous maidens.

Oh oh... Seems I am just about to fall on top of you and bury my face in your lovely.. Hang on a minute! Why has the sofa got a pair of ears, and a wet nose? And is it moving gently up and down??

(PHEWWWW,thank goodness a third party has arrived Phero )


OH NO,what can it be ? What can possibly DARE to disturb this very important moment ? Just as we almost had the wool wound too ,typical !Well are you going to investigate this intruder Phero,or do you want me to do it ?