h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The posting to which you are replying is from Archangel Kes: Patron Saint of Lost Poetry (see A433793)
I say! I think you ought to tie that thing up, you know ... it's starting to wander round and chew the chairs... There's a moose loose aboot the hoose!
I always wanted to do that. Well, since yesterday, when somebody tot me how to cut and paste. And no glue to sniff. (sniff, sniff) Tha's funny...in preview it looks like I retyped it...
As Patron Saint of Poetry, you deserve to know the Canadian 'about' rimes with 'pout'. The Scots dialects here are a hundred years older than Burns. Highland clearances et al.
What shall we do for Burns Day this year. The Challenger disaster was a bit flash. And we'd already done that, with the Apollo 1 fire in 67. Haven't really done anyhing nice for Burns Day since 46 when we sank the Bluenose. How 'bout' something celestial?

*Straightens up from behind the bar, emerging with a very old dusty bottle in her hand. She starts to say "Yo ho ho" (because its rum) but only says "Yo!" because she has spotted the moose. Its difficult to put things past her. Quickly regaining her aplomb she sets the bottle down on the bar.*

My son is an astrophysicist. Let me cut and paste you one of his recent emails:

The work is pretty
>interesting; there's a starburst galaxy called M 83 (starburst just
>means the galaxy recently formed very many stars, probably because it
>passed near another galaxy), and I am trying to determine the ages of
>its star clusters. The ages are determined by comparing the colors of
>the clusters (as observed with HST) to colors predicted by theoretical
>models, based on what we know about stars. There are some
>complications (for example, dust in M83 affects the colors of the
>clusters), but we seem to be making headway. Once I have ages for the
>clusters, we'll look at the ages and where the clusters are in M83 to
>see if we can determine whether the starburst propagated across M83
>(like a wave across a pond), or whether it happened everywhere at
>once, or whether it propagated, but not like a wave, more randomly,
>like a fractal.
>

Celestial!

(He was hired on by the people running the Hubble!) ~proud Mom~

Would anyone care to try this rum with me?

Oh, sorry, you meant heavenly type celestial. You were speaking to that guy in the wings and jaunty halo. Never mind.




The moose is trying to get through the door. His antlers are stuck.

Hi everyone. . .did I miss anything?. . .nice coatrack. . .OH MY GOODNESS IT'S EATING MY COAT!!!!! (Sinks on to a chair and starts searching desperately for her medication)

*I want Chocolate Moose *

It is the interweave of realities that makes life interesting. That and my short attention span. Like right now I want to know if there is an M-83 highway in England, where does it go and from where,and does it go past Peter Frampton's house? What moose?

*That 'Moose on the Loose' is better looking than some of the men I've dated. Snappy dresser isn't he?*

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Wood dressings? To go on sawdust and toothpick salads?

Tossed teak is quite nice with a sprinkle of sandalwood, a dash of ash, a dribble of maple and a half liter of linseed oil.

If I saw such a salad, I'd nail it down, then go for it, hammer and (wooden) tongs.

What to drink? It's no big deal, you could have some grain whisky with it.

That FAQ reminds me of the Real Doll (as recommended by Howard Sterne) one.

"Question: Does she come with a warranty? What happens if she breaks? ...In the unlikely event of a tear in the silicone flesh, you can easily repair the damage yourself with commercial grade silicone caulking, found at your local hardware store. Step by step instructions for such repair are included with your doll. "

How romantic
.... tho the scenarios resulting from an accidental overuse of the silicone are quite amusing.

Now about the Mamma Mia Moose.....

The M83 doesn't exist AFAIK, but if it did, it would be within 50 miles of Wumbeevil and definitely not in England. Peter Frampton would have to move moose.

The numbers acend then. The famous M1 and M5 and the lower numbers are down by London and go 'up' as you proceed 'upcountry'?

Ya mean ya get a whole silicone woman, not just the lips and breasts?

Wumby, can you get Howard Sterne on your radio?

(purposely ignoring johnwfulton's panting, and scrabbling around for a pencil to take down the address of the silicon lady manufacturer.)

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*Twists a piece of paper into a witches hat shape, and perches it on the geranium, thus achieving a silly cone in plant ...*

And the M31 goes from Leeds to Andromeda? ... only half the length of the M62 ,,,,,

*decides to subscribe to Plastic Gardenery 2001, as he's not keeping abreast with the thymes*

....and the M60 is a deathtrap, unlike the M1A1 which is a very fancy mousetrap.

Doesn't the M62 go from Leeds to Morocco, and that was how you got the Yorkshire Moors?

Do any of these meander down to W. Australia? Just curious.

*eases gingerly past the moose, which has temporarily given up trying to advance but doesn't seem to know enough to go backwards*

I didn't expect to be away this long. Hello everybody. Can I have a pint of your best bitter please? Sorry I missed Millard Fillmore's birthday -- I'd had hopes of perhaps digging out some political songs of the time. Are there any bags of plain crisps?

So this M83, if it did exist, either fractally or spirally, would probably be a circumferantial loop bypassing either Glasgow or Edinburgh or some other lump in the M8. It would radiate out like ripples on a pond or starbursts in a newly forming galaxy but Peter Frampton is not a neighbor. That's some smart kid ya got there MariRae ..Hey, where'd the moose go? Oh no, not back to Baskervilles!

Well the M90 goes to Perth, but Adelaide money on it being warmer than that in Oz, it's colder than an Italian brass monkey can berra.

Don't they change their names to Autoroots in Australia?

*a sudden bout of lucidity strikes Wumbeevil, as opposed to the usual lucbowelity*

Egads, listen to yourself man, your making feeble jokes about motorways, you should be in a rest home for Boring Old Farts......oh.

Seriously, I think some of them must head that way, mari-rae. Didn't Captain Scott drive a Discovery all the way to Antarctica?