h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

mygawd but this isss boring
Obviously, you are in the right place.

I didn't think that Daimler was so ugly...

Johnw, let's get your Jaguar going again. Kick the mice out. I'll help you. (fetching cups of tea, handing you the odd socketwrench, a bit of magic, whatever!) We'll break the land speed record here in the Village with it!!

Find a wheel and it goes
round round round
as it spins along
along the ground
ground ground
as it spins along with
a hap-happy sound!
How does the rest go Wumbe? D'ya think he really read all previous 381 entries?

Tell ya what M-R I'll buy ya one of them Leopard skin coats (all the girls are wearing them) and ya can use some of yer magic to keep the still running. Yes I said still, not mill. And it is not under the hood; it is in the boot. Put that in your trunk and bonnit. Oh, cookies.

Ah-ha! Still; I'd like to go look! No need to buy me a coat, thanks so much anyway. I'll bring the odd bit of copper tubing, some bottles, and a perpetually burning rock if you think that would help.

I have baked some peanut butter cookies. I'll bring them too.


*Saunters off for home to bring the aforementioned items... humming (find a wheel, and it goes round, round round...)

..at night you see the oval moon
going round and round in tune
as it tolls along
the ground ground ground..

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You guys amaze me. I never knew Perry Como still had so many fans. Mind you I am fully cognascent that he is from an era when radio was the dominant medium and every station played the same 40 tunes over and over.
'Top 40, news weather and sports!
Temperature! Time! And Traffic Reports!'
There were very few content providers. And no competing visual media. Men were men. And Perry offered a soft spot in the belly of Italian machismo. "Hot diggaty dog diggaty. Boom! What you do to me!"

...for love may come and tap you on the shoulder
One starless night... ~singing~

*She comes back into the BOF Inn and sets a piled up platter of home-made peanut butter cookies onto the bar. She also has a small covered pail and is holding it with an oven mitt. She sets that carefully on the floor, placing the oven mitt under it to protect the wood.*

Help yourselves to the cookies. Careful of the bucket, its hot. Hello, Bernie Risenfall. I'm mari-rae. Have a cookie.

**Torn twixt the temptation of these glorious biscuits and the anguish of seeing M-R in mid-flirt with another, the biscuits win, and Pheroneous grabs a couple, and secrets a couple more about his person in case he is required to stomp off in a huff later**

Hi! (He says with his mouth full!)

*Flicks sprayed cookie crumbs from her cheek.*

Hi, Pheroneous. Have another cookie.

*Door opens. A flash of lightning sillhouettes a tall stranger. A crash of thunder accompanies his entrance. Door closes. Stranger walks up to bar.*

Nice time of year for the weather we're having ... any chance of an ?

*Is bending over tending the perpetually burning rock in her pail, and misses that really overly dramatic entrance.*

*Walks over to mari, and taps her on the shoulder*

Excuse me, miss ... but it is a starless night, and I have lost my way. I am hungry and thirsty. Can you help me?

Say wha'..
Oh! Cookies! Ah, lovely my dear. I see Pheroneous is glad to see you too. Now, tell me about this bucket. What in godsname is a perpetually burning rock? Some magic afoot here then?
*whispers in her ear*
Who's the cowboy?

Have a peanut butter cookie. The bar is self serve.

He hasn't said yet. Yes, this PBR is for the in the boot of the Jag.

My, this place is busy all of a sudden. Hello ... I'm Kes ... and not a cowboy ... just soaked, lost and Thirsty (Never could get the hand of Thirsty) ...

*Draws an and gives it to the poor man.*

I'm mari-rae, and this is johnwfulton. You are in the BOF Inn, Middle Age Division. *pats his hand* Have another cookie.

Then by happy accident, I seem to have found the right environment ... sounds as if I qualify for membership.

*Quaffs the *

...and the beer tastes good - like it used to thirty years ago when I was ... oh never mind ...

...and the company is delightful. Nice to meet you, mari ... is that a per rock? It looks a bit fierce to me ...

Yes,apparently it's in heat. Per-pet-ually.